The Steps to Overcoming Shyness - Essay Example

Steps to Overcoming Shyness There are people who are not very comfortable socializing with other in public. For some people, the thought of interacting with strangers in a social forum fills them with anxiety. However, society requires that people interact with each other socially. Shyness is a condition that can be overcome with time. Most people will confess that they had trouble communicating with strangers especially during their teenage years but have overcome their shyness with time. There are also another type of people who are naturally not the social type. Interacting with people takes a lot of energy from them and they have to occasionally spend some time alone to replenish their energy. Such people are called introverts. There is however another group of people who are naturally social and interacting with others in social settings comes to them naturally (Smith, 10). These are the kind of people you will find having a huge number of friends and acquaintances. They are naturally outgoing and fun. It is natural to feel shy in social setting whether one is an introvert or an extrovert, however there are steps that one can apply to overcome their shyness. This article outlines the steps to overcoming shyness. In order to understand the steps that one can take to overcoming shyness, it is crucial to comprehend the causes of shyness. Shyness can be caused by a number of factors among them labeling, weak self image and preoccupation with self. When people label themselves as being the shy type, they will become socially anxious when they are in contact with a large group of people especially strangers. Moreover, if a person has a low self image, they will feel that other people are looking down upon them and will have less confidence in themselves (Brozovich & Chase, 246). Finally, if a person is preoccupied with self, they will become over self conscious and this will increase their social anxiety. The first step to overcoming shyness is understanding one’s shyness. This stage involves understanding what makes one shy. For instance, if one is preoccupied by self, there are things that they can do to ensure that they feel confident in public. One way acquire this is to ensure that they dress properly for the kind of occasion that they are attending. They should ensure that they dress in comfortable clothes that fit the occasion. As such, they would not feel that they are the center of attention. This can alos be achieved by ensuring that they exhibit the right etiquette so that they do not attract attention to themselves. If the shyness is caused by having a low self esteem, then they would work on ways that can boost their self esteem and make them more confident in public. This could be through changing their lifestyles, losing some weight or even getting that killer hair cut. They should do whatever gives their esteem a boost (Henderson, 89). In case the shyness is as a result of labeling, they should understand that even the most outspoken person has ever experienced a bout of shyness but they overcame it. There is no one who cannot overcome shyness when they follow the right steps. Shyness is not a permanent condition. One should look into all the triggers that cause them to be shy and work on them. The second step to overcoming shyness is to utilizing cognitive restructuring. This involves transforming the self consciousness into self awareness. Most people who experience extreme shyness feel like they are the center of the world attention. This is not true. Most people are very busy focusing on other areas in their lives that they barely look at the shy person. In order to overcome shyness, one needs to stop looking at them as others see them and instead become self aware. One need to look deeper into their soul and understand what makes them shy. This is what is called self awareness. They are able to understand themselves more and can therefore be their own judge without looking at themselves in terms of how others view them. Instead of focusing on oneself, one can divert their attention to other people (Bowman & Ragsdale, 49) . They should try to learn more about others, steer the conversation towards them talking more about themselves and this shift the attention from the shy person to the other people. This stage also involves understanding one’s strengths and weaknesses. People are endowed with a wide range of different unique qualities. It is important to understand which areas one is talented and focus on sharpening these skills. One should accept that they are good at certain things which maybe different from those around them (Brozovich & Chase, 242). No one is created that same way. As a matter of fact if all the people had the same qualities then the world would be a boring place to live in. Understanding one’s strength and how if gives one an advantage is important in helping one fit in social settings. After creating self and understanding what makes one shy, the next step is to accept oneself. It is important that a person should be comfortable with their own self. All people have their own flaws but this does not make them bad person. One should be able to recognize their strengths and weakness and work on the weakness where possible and accept the thing that they cannot change. They should learn to love themselves and achieve self acceptance. When one reaches a level of self acceptance, the world around them will also accept them. They should also engage in doing activities that they love and which makes them happy as a form of self gratitude (Smith, 11). One should also ensure that they spend quality time with themselves and seek to know themselves better. This goes hand in hand with not conforming to the world around them. This is because if they try to live as the world around them does, they would finally lose their self identity and will feel lost. A person should always seek to do what makes them happy and not to impress the people around them. There are some physiological methods that one can use to overcome social anxiety. One is though the use of deep breaths. During breathing exercise one should focus on their breathing and this clears the thoughts. Yoga is also a good way of calming oneself. One can also release anxiety through movement such as jogging and muscle movements (Bowman & Ragsdale, 43). The next stage that one can use to overcome shyness is through visualization. One can visualize themselves as being very confident in a certain event and conducting themselves with the highest level of confidence. One should close their eyes and place themselves in the context and imagine how they would like the situation to turn out. Another stage of overcoming shyness is through constant affirmation. Words are very powerful and influence the mind and action. One should continually affirm themselves tell themselves that they are in control of a certain situation. If one repeatedly affirms that they are confident and capable, they will end up being. Thinking positively places one in the path of achieving positive things (Brozovich & Chase, 231). Staying in uncomfortable situation is a milestone towards overcoming shyness. When faced with an uncomfortable situation, man’s natural instinct is to either fight or flight. If one keeps avoiding uncomfortable situation, they will never know how to deal with such situation. One should tolerate the situation and with time they would overcome it. Try to understand why the situation makes one uncomfortable and develop ways of dealing with those issues. The last step to overcoming shyness is to try to put oneself in uncomfortable situations and practice to deal with the situation. After one has been exposed to several situations that they deemed uncomfortable, they would realize that such situations are not as uncomfortable as they deemed. All in all time is an important factor in overcoming shyness. It is not possible to get over social anxiety in a day. If one follows the steps mentioned above, they will in time be able to interact with other people comfortably. This goes hand in hand with surrounding oneself with positive people that will encourage one to be confident in such situations. One needs the support of friends and family who do not mock them when they feel less confident but affirm them regularly. Such friends should be willing to challenge the individual in order to boost their confidence. Moreover, one should not take everything very seriously. Even the best public speakers make mistake when they are in public. If one’s voice trembles a little, it does not means that they have completely failed. It is normal for one to feel a little uneasy in these situation but exposure to the same experiences over and over again will ensure that they come out of all these situations victorious. One should take one step at a time towards recovery and not give up. If one is consistent in following the mentioned steps, they will eventually be able to overcome their shyness and be comfortable in social situations.Work Cited Bowman, Susan, and Katherine Ragsdale. Shyanne: Learning How to Overcome Shyness. Chapin, S.C: Youth Light, 2009. Print. Brozovich, Richard, and Linda Chase. Say Goodbye to Being Shy: A Workbook to Help Kids Overcome Shyness. Oakland, Calif: New HarbingStein, Murray B, and John R. Walker. Triumph Over Shyness: Conquering Shyness and Social Anxiety. New York: McGraw-Hill, 2002. Printer, 2008. Print. Henderson, Lynne. The Compassionate-Mind Guide to Building Social Confidence: Using Compassion-Focused Therapy to Overcome Shyness and Social Anxiety. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications, 2011. Print. Smith, M B. Overcoming Shyness. Downers Grove, Ill: InterVarsity Press, 2011. Print. Read More