Being a therapist using the attachment theory of Gordon Neufeld - Essay Example

Being a Therapist Using the Attachment Theory of Gordon Neufeld As a child with separation problems, it would be difficult for me to interact with people because I would be afraid that the individual would leave and something would happen to them. With this I mind, as I was treating children and adolescents, I may have difficulty in several ways in dealing with children who had separation problems. According to Nuefeld (2006), separation problems are numerous for children and are shown in many different ways.

One of the most common problems that I have seen with children is separation anxiety. This is where children are afraid that their parents may not come back for them because something may happen to them, when they are out of the child’s sight. Sometimes it seems that the child is having problems because they do not feel close enough to the parent. If I had problems with separation, it would be difficult to form healthy relationships and I would worry about people in my life who were not in front of me all the time.

I would imagine that children and adolescents who were bothered by separation problems would have the same kind of feeling. I also think that these children would spend a lot of time in therapy worrying about where their parent was and when (or if) they were coming back. I would see these children as needing nurturance on the one hand, but also needing to satisfy the anxiety, if I were someone with the same problems. On another note, if I had not addressed these issues for myself, I would have problems with countertransference in therapy sessions because I would expect the parents to understand that they had to provide some type of interaction with the child that would not make them feel anxious about their leaving.

This may mean that I would try to instigate a way to keep the child more dependent with the parent instead of helping them enter independence when the parent was away. Now that I deeper understanding as a therapist, I would do as Nuefeld (2006) states, when he says that children need to be closer to the therapist so that they can work through the process. I would not ask the parent to ignore the child, but I would take the child into the therapy session and help him or her connect stronger to me as a therapist.

I can see the logic in this because the child will need to come to therapy over a period of time. If she or he becomes more involved with therapy through feeling closer to me as a therapist, he or she will have a more direct opportunity to work through their own issues. In this situation, I may use play therapy as an intervention because the child and I would bond, but the child would be able to talk about their issues through play. I would think that Neufeld’s (2006) three keys would be relevant to this discussion because the child would be encouraged to attach to the therapist, and then find ways to attach to others.

I would think that teachers could benefit from finding ways to help children attach to them as well. As an example, I remember that in grade school and in high school, I was able to attach to certain teachers, and this made it easier for them to teach me, but it also made it easier for me to get through their courses. I also think that as a therapist, I could help the child go back through the stages of attachment that they may have missed. As an example, a child that is experiencing separation may need to start with learning to attach to the parent through their senses.

Perhaps the parent was not available to them as a child, and now the parent is doing their own work to attach to their child. This would help both parent and child establish a bond again. The use of a large mirror could help to attach parent and child through sameness. This would allow them to explore those things that were unique, there could be some mirroring activities in front of the mirror, and the child and the parent may feel more secure after this process.