Interpersonal Communication - Term Paper Example

Interpersonal Communication In attempting to understand the phenomenon of interpersonal communication, it is imperative to define what communication means. According Tubbs and Moss (1994:6), human communication is the process of creating meaning between two or more people. This implies that any conversation between two people may be considered to be interpersonal communication. Therefore, improving a relationship especially with mother in this particular case requires commitment in understanding the various facets of communication skills. Communication is done by everybody and to learn interpersonal skills, you must first recognize the need for them. More importantly you must have a genuine desire to connect with others if you wish to become a competent communicator and improve relations as well. This involves considering the needs and desires of others while maintaining your own integrity. In this regard, interpersonal communication can be defined as a transactional process whereby two people sharing the roles of sender and receiver exercise mutual responsibility in creating meaning (Verderber & Verderber, 1998:5). The most important thing is that communication is a process that is characterised by certain behaviors in attempting to create meaning. In the communication process, there is mutual responsibility for making sure that the meanings that are created are shared. This means that you and the person you are communicating with must make sure that you understand each other’s messages. (Verderber & Verderber, 1998:6). In this example, my mother says, ‘can you get my spectacles please,’ and I simply say ‘okay’ without the knowledge of where they are. The result will be that I am not likely to take any action and my mother will think that I am being arrogant or rude. The best response I could have given in this scenario is, ‘okay mother but where are they?’ This shows an element of understanding and respect. Basically, the understanding of the image of your self is very important in building relationships with others. The oxford dictionary defines self-image simply as ‘one’s idea of what one is.’ Research indicates that a positive self image is beneficial in many ways. It is crucial especially for personal happiness and good interpersonal relationships. In attempting to improve the relationship with my mother, it is important to realize my own perception about myself and my mother’s own perception about myself. This implies an element of self importance in our everyday life. An important part about verbal communication is the ability to express yourself clearly. The ability to express your thoughts, feelings and ideas you want to convey is very important in the process of communication as the words you choose would determine the meaning of your intended message. In this regard, I must always try not to say things which will offend my mother in the process of communication basing on the assumption that I ought to respect her as my mother. Once she is offended, she may not be willing to engage in any discussion with me thus making the communication environment difficult and ultimately impossible to create a mutually conducive atmosphere. It is difficult in most cases to unsay what you have already said. Therefore, careful consideration should be taken in selection of words. Listening is another very important technique I would use in trying to understand what my mother says and try to find appropriate response that fosters a good sense of mutual understanding. In order to improve on interpersonal relationship, there is need to understand the concepts of gender and culture. According to Wood (1997:167), gender differences in language result from the different ways the sexes are oriented in growing up. Women come to see themselves as similar and connected to their mother and therefore view communication as a way of establishing and maintaining a relationship. On the other hand, man see themselves as different from their mother and to them communication is a way of exerting control and independence. Being a male in this case requires me to show some form of respect when communicating with my mother as this will create a positive mother-son relationship where both parties are connected to each other by kinship. On the other hand, woman view communication as a way of expressing affection and this should not be taken for granted. In order for me to understand my mother fully, I must first of all take cogniscence of the fact that I am her child and she will remain my mother, so I will have to try to complement her motherly love and affection. Thus the issue of gender should not be overemphasized and is a very strong force in creation of meaning from a message. As the saying goes ‘actions speak louder than words,’ this is true with reference to non-verbal communication. According to Birdwhistell, (1970:158) ‘non-verbal communication refers to the messages that people convey through their bodies, touch, vocal variations and their use of space time and objects.’ This is most important in expressing our emotions and social meaning. Familiarity especially with my mother’s expressions such as a frown, a look of irritation or a smile often say more than the words can. This reminds me of my mother’s face when I arrived home late after partying with my friends. Well, the noble idea was to ask for forgiveness to cool her tempers. Non-verbal communication is very important in expressing our emotions and is very important in the creation of social meaning. Indeed, I ought to observe carefully my mother’s expressions so as to understand her better. To be effective in communication requires skill and commitment. Drawing from the work of Franzel du Plooy (2000), an effective communicator is one who provides enough information to the extent of making the conversation flow and someone who balances between speaking and listening. To communicate effectively, one ought to provide relevant information to the topic being discussed. The more directly your message relates to the subject, the more coherent and meaningful is the conversation. An effective communicator always communicates with clarity so as to enable the listener to contribute in the sharing of meaning and should always be consistent. A person who communicates effectively always strives to communicate in ways that are morally and ethically acceptable in society and these may differ from culture to culture. This also entails the aspect of politeness to other communication participants. Politeness is common to all cultures and is especially very important as it meets the people’s universal need to feel appreciated and protected. Therefore the goal of politeness is trying to eliminate any conversational and relationship problems that could result. In conclusion, interpersonal communication is basically communication between two people. Inorder to improve the relationship with someone, it is important to observe his or her communication styles both verbally and non-verbally then familiarize with them as a way of improving in effectiveness in communication. 1. Franzel du Plooy-Cilliers & Marianne Olivier, Lets talk about…Interpersonal Communication, Heinemann, 2000. 2. Gerard O’Donnell, Mastering Sociology, 3rd Edition, Macmillan, 1994. 3. Erasmus-Kritzinger L.E.: Effective Communication: Getting the message across in business, Afritech, 2003. 4. Birdwhistell, R.: Kinesics and context. Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, 1970. Read More