The Effects on Relationships Inside and Outside of Family - Term Paper Example

The Effects on Relationships Inside and Outside of Family Abstract The present study aims to explore the effects of watching and reading pornographic material on the relationships of the individuals inside and outside their family. The primary reason behind discovering the same includes the tremendous increase in pornography addiction among the individuals belonging to different ethno-racial backgrounds, nationalities, occupations, educational levels, age-groups, sexual orientations and both the genders as well predominantly in the present era. The contemporary era of technological revolution has made the access to pornography far easier in the wake of the invention of computer sciences, internet and mobile sets and iphones, where the person have reach to these equipments can get involved into various sources of pornography without much efforts. Hence, pornography has obtained the status of universal phenomenon in all parts of the globe without discrimination. The study has been supported with the scholarly works and theories of pornography, as well as theory of morality articulated by Devlin. Introduction The term pornography simply stands for the writings, paintings, poems, pictures, sculptors, , songs and movies etc depicting nude human bodies in order to sexually arouse the emotions of the people and promote eroticism in its wake. Though the term was initially applied to identify writings about prostitution (ElHage, 2004:1), it later started being used for anything erotic and related to sexual activities with the passage of time. MacKinnon and Dworkin define pornography as “the graphic sexually explicit subordination of women” (MacKinnon 1993:121). Consequently, all material projecting, promoting and demonstrating eroticism was included to be pornography. The writers, poets, painters and sculptors personified the prostitutes in their works in ancient times. The ancient art and culture represents the statues and paintings depicting naked bodies in stone and pictures, which urged sexual excitement and exotic desires (Clarke, 2003:168). There had been a lust in man that he wanted to continue his consideration towards the beauties Nature has offered to him. It is therefore he sought the support of art and literature to fulfil his urge to perpetuate his creativity in all fields including even vulgarity and nudity. The pornography is also the outcome of perpetuating man’s carnal desires. Though, history is replete with the existence of erotic depictions in art and literature, yet it was not popular, easy and accessible in such a manner as it is easy in the reach of every individual in the wake of technological revolution. As a result, frequency and variety of reading and/or watching various kinds of pornography have witnessed a significant boost in modern era. Rates of compulsive use of pornography, Wolfe argues, have increased during the past decade steadily to a great extent (2000:237); which not only costs the time and energies of the users to an imperative manner, but also has left adverse consequences and affects on the mental and physical health of the viewers. In addition, visiting different pornographic websites, watching the movies and reading the material related to it have turned humans addicted to the same eventually. Consequently, porn addiction has caused the ruination of relationships at domestic and social scale in the wake of compulsive use of erotic material. There was a time when the vulgar and offensive terms e.g. gay, lesbian, masochism, sadism and bounding etc were entirely strange and unknown to an overwhelming majority of the members of society. Somehow, excessive use of these slang terms and obscene words at social media and websites by different people with immoral tastes have caused the destruction of moral values and ethical principles to a disgraceful and jeopardizing extent. Nearly one tenth of the aggregate internet users, Cooper notices, spend over 11 hours a week searching for and looking at sexual content (2000; quoted in Zitzman & Butler, 2005:311). Though the entire society appears to be get affected by the unlimited and uncontrollable use of porn by visiting sexually offensive chat rooms encouraging dirty conversations, and websites carrying nude and offensive pictures and videos; yet the most primary institution i.e. family looks the worst victim of the presence of porn in bulk at the internet. Since spouses remain engaged in cyber sex of various kinds beyond their marital knot, there could be found imperative differences between them because of their involvement with different people of same or opposite sexes or both, which offers variety in pleasure, and turn people addicted to cyber sex, creating gulf between husbands and wives subsequently. As a result, relations between the couples witness estrangement leading to the high rates of divorces, and ruination of domestic life in its wake. It has also been witnessed that the people addicted to cyber sex at internet become unable to get satisfied with the real sex with the spouses or partners altogether. In other words, their love for and addiction to the cyber sex turns them disinterested in enjoying the sexual intercourse in real life. It is not confined to the addicts of watching nude pictures or videos; on the other hand, it is particularly the case with the individuals involved into reading the sexual tales as well as habitual of dirty chatting at the internet. Pornography has, according to Zitzman & Butler, observed accompanying disruption, impairment, and endangerment of attachment in marital relationships in a significant manner (2005:312). Consequently, the spouses are observed to be started drifting apart from their legal spouses and civil partners, and seek all erotic gratification by consuming several hours a day at the computer systems, negating their domestic and social responsibilities and remaining confined to the internet only. It is therefore, the “spouses of sex addicts often experience: emotional problems; social embarrassment; physical abuse or un­wanted touching in public and private; and sexual pressure to engage in degrading and unsafe sexual behaviors” (ElHage, 2004:3). Furthermore, people’s indulgence in extra-marital relationships with many members of same or opposite gender frequently multiply the risks of developing contagious diseases including tuberculosis, AIDS and others (ElHage, 2004:1-2). Thus, porn addiction lays unfavorable and condemnable affects on family life of the individuals. Literature Review Reed (1994) has conducted his study under the title “Pornography Addiction and Compulsive Sexual Behavior”, where he has elucidated the influence of getting indulged into offensive material on mental and sexual health of the porn addicts on the one side, and on their behavior and activities on the other. Use of porn material, according to the researcher, vehemently develops and promotes compulsive sexual behavior and leads the users towards the consistent addiction to pornography. Consequently, porn addict cannot gets sexual gratification without spending time in consuming porn material including erotic magazines, journals, pictures, videos, stories and chatting etc. The use of pornography, Reed asserts, can both be a cause or symptom of behavior that serves to arouse or sedate individuals, dependent on their neurochemistry or conditioning (1994:249). Such type of behavior adopted and exercised by the individuals is not confined to some specific type of addiction; rather, all kinds of porn material leaves painful influences on the addicts, by turning them entirely dependent and relied upon offensive and obscene material i.e. pornography. Excessive application of computer and internet surfing, the author argues, also develop antisocial behavior in personalities, and the individuals addicted to the internet start avoiding and escaping the company of family members, relations, neighbors and friends at large (1994:249). Though inherited personality traits and environment also play significant role in the growth and development of personalities, yet some specific atmosphere, particularly porn addiction, sometimes overcome all other factors, and confine the individuals to consuming obscene material on regular basis. Thus, porn addiction is sure to develop compulsive habits and behavior in the addicts, Reed (1994:253) asserts by citing medical and psychological researches on the subject under consideration. The research made by Schneider (1991) carrying the title “How to recognize the signs of sexual addiction: Asking the right questions may uncover serious problems” declares porn addiction more fatal than drug addiction and chemical dependency even. It is partly because of the bitter reality that the porn addicts not only waste their time and energies in getting involved into incomplete and unsatisfactory sexual discourses, but may also “jeopardize their marriage and family relationships” subsequently. Moreover, development of their habit of watching porn persistently creates lack of their interest in professional responsibilities and obligations, which could result into ruination of their job and business as well as “endanger themselves and their partner through multiple sexual exposures” (Schneider, 1991:1-2). The author has supported his perspective by producing several cases of married and single, as well as heterosexual and homosexual individuals, which could not overcome their habit of involving into sexual encounters with several acquaintances and strangers in the wake of watching and/or reading pornography on regular basis. Consequently, the condemnable habit of porn addiction keeps the individuals unable to quench the thirst of their carnal desires in any way. It is therefore porn addicts look for meeting new and novel persons to be their sex mates in order to executive new experiences and satisfy their lustful desires on the other. Hence, sex becomes just observing of orgasm rather than winning love and practicing sexual intercourse against true and deep feelings of love for spouses or partners. In addition, meeting with new persons of same of opposite gender at chat rooms, and searching for new partners at public places shamefully promotes immorality within social establishments, and moral values witness a profound blow in the aftermath of sexual seductions and temptations made by the people at cyber scale, shifting it to the real world subsequently. “The pervasive use of pornography in our society”, Ford et al. opine, “creates fertile ground for addiction to pornography and can cause problems for some couples” (2012, 337). It is thereofre, many therapists report inadequate training and competence when working with this type of presenting concern. ElHage (2004) appears to lamenting over the ruination of the family life and relationship of the porn addicts in his article “Sexual Degradation: How Pornography Destroys the Family.” One of the most horrifying outcomes of porn addiction, according to ElHage, is this that “pornography strips sex of its natu­ral relationship to love, commitment, marriage and procreation, reducing it to a purely physical, selfish act” (2004:2). It is predominantly dangerous and jeopardizing fatally for the young boys and girls, who become prey to the lustful desires of the adult exploiters eventually. “Children are”, ElHage notices, “especially vulnerable to the powerful messages communicated by pornography. Compared to adults, they are less able to distinguish between what is real and what is not” (2004:2). Since the mature adulterers apply the skill of trapping the adolescents through their erotic chatting, the poor youngsters lose their virginity, and smooth and steady life as well after becoming prey to the cruel heterosexual and homosexual adults, leaving their parents at a perturbed and disturbed state of affairs eventually. Thus, they become unable to restore to normalcy for the future years to come, and undergo severe emotional and psychological traumas subsequent to the entrapment at the hands of habitual adulterers. Bird (2006) has thrown light on the increase of neurotic and psychological problems among the individuals spending many hours in internet surfing in his article “Sexual Addiction and Marriage and Family Therapy: Facilitating Individual and Relationship Healing through Couple Therapy.” The researcher has elucidated many possible ways of sexual addiction, even existed before the advent of internet and mobile phones. However, publication of porn literature, including magazines and journals depicting nude pictures, and narrating erotic stories have increased sexual addiction to a great extent. Moreover, advent of internet brought revolution in every field of life including pornography, where sexual addiction observed multiple accelerations in its scope with the help of presence of dirty and nude websites in bulk everywhere in the internet. The author further elaborates his viewpoint by stating that since one of the spouses seeks satisfaction through sexual addiction of pornography or beyond marital-knot, he/she does not have any need for the second partner to enter into sexual encounters subsequent to getting satisfied outside his/her domestic responsibilities. It certainly leaves the other spouse in a perturbed state of affair, where there appears to way to satisfy his/her carnal desires in an adequate, legal and moral way. As a result, he/she either succumbs to violate moral and legal values, or becomes victim of emotional collapse and psychological traumas subsequent to the betrayal adopted by his/her spouse due to the sexual addiction (Bird, 2006:298). The author has explained various terms and methods to be applied and exercised during the course of offering therapeutic services to the spouses of the sexual addicts. Though husbands are particularly targeted and criticized for getting involved into extra-marital relationships, yet observing the same by wives cannot be ignored. It is therefore, Bird lays stress upon calling both the spouses at therapeutic centers for the best interest of the couple and for the sake of saving their domestic life from becoming prey to the irresponsible attitude and behavior of one or both the spouses. Delmonico (2005) has articulated his perspective in the wake of conducting a research on the topic “Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity: Watching the Field Evolve”, where he has cited different studies elaborating “the constructs of boredom proneness, social connection, and dissociation play a role for Internet sexually addicted males” (2005:2). The author submits to state that alterations in the social environment and increase in work hours have left astounding affects on the social connections of the people. As a result, no one has the moments to visit friends and relatives to give vent to his views and ideas. It has promoted the internet culture in the entire world, and people prefer to confine to their residences or offices in order to enter into recreational activities by internet surfing and chatting with friends and strangers. Since sex is certainly one of the most attractive thing for every individual, surfing surely encourages the users to visit porn websites or get indulged into erotic chatting. It has challenged the domestic life, and interest, sexual attraction towards spouses and partners appears to be witnessing a downward trend subsequently. Hence, the above discussion proves that the researchers have made valuable analysis of the entire problem, and have provided suggestions for the solution of the same in order to protect the spouses and their domestic life on the one side, and for keeping the individuals away from betraying their partners and spouses on the one side, and from discouraging the drug addicts in respect of ruining the lives of internet chat friends and strangers on the other. Analysis and Conclusion: The above discussion, elaborating the problem of the individuals’ becoming sexual addicts in the wake of popularity and accessibility of porn literature, websites, videos and other material, and fast growth of their inclinations towards deviations, perversion and escaping from domestic as well as social and professional responsibilities, portrays a horrible scenario of the contemporary social establishments. There is no second opinion in the bitter reality that pornography existed in almost all societies of the globe without discrimination, even in the ancient cultures and civilizations, as the relics provide the support in favor of the same; however, it is technological revolution that has accelerated the curse of pornography to a great extent. Consequently, sexual addiction appears to be touching the new heights by challenging the peace, happiness, stability and traditional moral values in a drastic manner. The curses of extra-marital and immoral cohabitations, and open homosexual marriages and associations have also appeared in the wake of unabated and unrestricted popularity of porn literature in all areas and regions of the globe. Increase in child rapes, trends of becoming unwed mothers at very young age and forced and willing homosexual relations among the adolescents serve as the black mar on the face of a moralist society. Since all faiths and religions turn down immoral cohabitations as well as sexual intercourses beyond marital knot, these are equally condemned and censured by the dogmatists and moralists, by being declared to be jeopardizing for the growth and survival of societies at large. On the one side, the sexual addicts induce and tempt the individuals beyond their marital-knot, and destroying their lives for personal purposes; and on the other side, they betray their spouses by turning them to be emotionally collapsed and mentally retarded ones, subsequent to their sexual addictions of several types. It is therefore renowned jurist and moralist Devlin has raised voice in favor of the strict implementations of moral laws side by side the statutes of prevailing legal system at large. Lord Devlin (1965:31) advocates the cause of declaring immoral activities and sexual offences to be equivalent to criminal acts just for the sake of preserving the peace, prosperity and survival of human societies. Morality can, according to Devlin, be based on disgust, and therefore society’s general abhorrence of homosexuality is a sufficient basis for the legal prohibition of immoral sexual activities of various kinds (1965:47). Though Devlin was vehemently targeted for going against the purported positive alterations in respect of setting people free to lead of life of their choice by entering into sexual relationships with the member of any gender including males, females and transsexuals even; nevertheless, time has proved the validity of Devlin’s perspective that sexual activities must be controlled and regulated in the light of the noble principles of ethics and morality in general. It is particularly the case after going through the consequences appear in the wake of the unrestricted access both adolescents and adults maintain to the pornographic magazines, websites, video films and others, which develop a compulsive behavior of using the same, and subsequently search out the like-minded people for embarking upon the filthy vehicle of licentious desires to give their sexual fantasies the shape of reality in any way. On the one side, the websites and print media appears to be engaged in providing and publishing obscene material for their pecuniary gains and profit generations; and on the other side, the theorists, researchers, moralists and human rights activists look lamenting over the ethical dilemma and moral collapse of social fabrics in the aftermath of the individuals’ becoming prey to the carnal desires and sexual addicts, constructing the death zones for their happy domestic and matrimonial life. In addition, not only this that the married couples are the only preys of sexual addiction; rather, the adolescents accidentally accessing the nude sites and erotic pages during surfing appear to be the most vulnerable stratum of society. Not only this that the porn promoters and publishers are destroying the matrimonial life of the married couples (ford et al., 338), but also depriving the innocent children of their innocence and simplicity by advertising their filthy and shameful projects of pornography and eroticism. The entire developments made by the porn publishers, actors and promoters are seriously detrimental for the future of society. It is therefore the moralists are of the view that excessive use of porn material and its subsequent sexual addiction will produce nothing but a nation of physically weak and mentally retarded individuals, where the most fundamental social institution i.e. family may lose its traditional unique identity and survival even in the aftermath of tremendous rise in divorce rates, and imperative increase of illegal cohabitations and wide-ranged homosexuality. References Clarke, John R. (April, 2003). Roman Sex: 100 B.C. to A.D. 250. New York: Harry N. Abrams. p. 168. ISBN 0-8109-4263-1. Bird, Mark H. (2006) Sexual Addiction and Marriage and Family Therapy: Facilitating Individual and Relationship Healing through Couple Therapy Journal of Marital and Family Therapy July Volume 32 No. 3 297-311 Delmonico, David L. (2005) Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity: Watching the Field Evolve Taylor & Francis, Routledge Inc. ISSN: 1072-0162 12:1–2 Devlin, Lord Patrick. (1965) The Enforcement of Morals Oxford University Press ElHage, Alysse M. (2004) Sexual Degradation: How Pornography Destroys the Family North Carolina Family Policy Council 1-4 Ford, Jeffrey J., Durtschi, Jared A., & Franklin, Darrell L. (2012) Structural Therapy With a Couple Battling Pornography Addiction The American Journal of Family Therapy, Taylor & Francis Group, LLC ISSN: 0192-6187 40:336–348 Reed, M. Douglas (1994) Pornography Addiction and Compulsive Sexual Behavior Media, Children and the Family; Social Scientific, Psychodynamic and Clinical Perspective Hillsdale, N. J. Erlbaum 249-270 Schneider, Jennifer P. (1991) How to recognize the signs of sexual addiction: Asking the right questions may uncover serious problems Postgraduate Medicine – Sexual Addiction Vol 90/N0 6/November 1, 1-14 Wolfe, J. L. (2000). Assessment and treatment of Compulsive Sex/Love Behavior. Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive-Behavior Therapy, 18(4), 235–246. Zitzman, Spencer T., & Butler, Mark H. (2005) Attachment, Addiction, and Recovery: Conjoint Marital Therapy for Recovery from a Sexual Addiction Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity, Taylor & Francis, Inc. Routledge ISSN: 1072-0162 12:311–337 Read More