The Link Between Relations In Family And Delinquency - Case Study Example

The Link Between Relations In Family And Delinquency Whenever I hear about crimes in the news, I remember the story that Flanner O’Connor wrote, titled, “A Good Man is Hard to Find.” With the rampant violence nowadays, I believe that authorities should look into the root cause of the problem, delinquency. According to a 2011 report on juvenile delinquency, 2.5 million juveniles are arrested every year in the U.S. for various crimes including violent ones (Juvenile Justice Basic Statistics). With the growing cases of crimes all over the world, many would agree that the best solution is to find out and stop the cause. Although socio-economic problems are there to justify the position of offenders, researchers agree that the family has the greatest contribution in producing delinquent children. In particular, parents nowadays fail to establish the attachment, differentiation and triangulation needed to lead children to a productive and beautiful life hence avoid delinquency. Parents fail to establish a strong attachment with their children. Many parents nowadays are busy with their jobs, business, or simply their own life. They tend to neglect their responsibilities to their children. Many of my friends are experiencing the same thing. Feeling neglected, they would turn to friends for comfort and support. Unfortunately, there are some children who are led to negative vices like smoking cigarettes and marijuana, taking drugs, gambling, and developing vices. Before they knew it, parents would find the situation of their child already serious and irreversible. They have submerged themselves into drug addiction hence rehabilitation, along with family support, is the only key to stop the problem. Neglect of children or the failure to establish a strong attachment with children should be avoided by every parent because such failure could later lead to the inability to control negative behavior. According to Hoeve et al. (750), the level of association between parent and child determines the amount of support or control that the parent has on the child. Therefore, the stronger the attachment to parents, the easier the parent can influence a child to do good. Bowlby (27) reports that poor attachment to parents is one of the root causes of delinquency. In his study of 44 cases of boys who had cases of stealing, Bolby (cited in Bretherton 781) found out a link between the symptoms of stealing and maternal deprivation and separation. In another study, Bowlby (cited in Simpson and Rholes (167) found out that infants showed tension when separated from their mothers. Some even took a week to feel at ease with their mother when born in a hospital. There is also a significant relation between single-parent families and delinquency. Canter (160) noted that the absence of a father or a mother in the life of a child affected the emotional and social skills of a child, and the effect had an imprint on the way the person viewed society and rules. Nevertheless, the connection between void and delinquency varied by gender, economic status and other demographic reasons. In addition, Canter (163) noted that white children from broken families are more likely to engage in running away from home and truancy. This news is really alarming and suggests the need of parents to establish a good attachment with their children. Attachment is a term that also means association between the parent and child. Most researchers use the term association to mean the level and quality of relationship between parent and child. John Bowlby conducted extensive research on the concept of attachment. His view is that a person’s attachment to a parent has an impact on the development and behavior of a child until even later in life (Bowlby. 1969). Attachment is critical during childhood, and the more a child is attached to an adult, the more influence the other will have on the child. Bowlby defines a strong attachment as a "lasting psychological connectedness” among people." (Bowlby 194). Anyone, even a caregiver who establishes attachment with a child will serve as an influential image in the child’s development and later decisions in life. In my case, my mother established a strong bond with me when I was a child. The connection between us had both good and bad effects on the family. As a young child, I always depended on my mother for anything. She was always beside me, giving me all the care I needed. As I grew up, I valued the love and support she gave and I could not imagine how life will be without her. This is why I pity children who are not with their parents, especially their mothers. Separation from the mother could mean a negative impact on the child, especially a newborn. Bowlby (22), in his Attachment Theory recommends mothers to never get separated from their babies, especially a newly born child. Another recommendation is to feed the baby properly to build a strong emotional attachment and physical bond while the child is still very young. Meeting physical needs is one requirement to gain the confidence or trust of a child. If the parents can fulfil the need, they will soon find the baby smiling at them or recognizing their presence as a security blanket. To illustrate, when babies want to sleep, they will cry but when given some milk, they will stop crying and sleep comfortably in the caregiver’s arms. Likewise, babies usually go with their caregiver and reject being held by strangers. Therefore, attachment to parents at a very young age should be established to make the child more comfortable and trusting. Fulfilling the child’s needs impacts his/her emotional status. In a study conducted by Ainsworth and Bell (62), children who were well-attended to during infancy showed fewer tendencies to cry before turning one year old. In addition, mothers of newborn babies were found to express their love as they cuddled, caressed, and stroked their babies’ head. In response, babies slept more comfortably or sucked their mothers’ nipple more closely, showing signs of attachment at the earliest stage. In this regard, parents who intend to establish close attachment with their children should start at the beginning of infancy. They should make sure to satisfy the basic needs of a child and comfort him/her by cuddling and making their presence felt. Trust is a very important factor to develop attachment. According Frankenstein, “basic sense of trust” (10) should be established in the child to avoid delinquency in later life. In a study of crimes committed by young people, the author noted that those who commit violent crimes were those who had poor relationships with their parents or those who had experiences of frustration and rejection from parents. Feeling rejected, the youth offenders have a negative view of life and of themselves. This idea leads to another cause of delinquency in terms of the family, and that is differentiation. Another reason for delinquency is poor differentiation in the family. In the website of Bowen Center, Bowen states that “Families and other social groups tremendously affect how people think, feel, and act, but individuals vary in their susceptibility to a "group think" (http://www.thebowencenter.org/pages/conceptds.html). Children differ from one another in the way they see themselves as apart from others. Families will have a unique way to depend on each other. Children depend much on their parents when they are young but when they get to maturity, they reach a point when they become self-sufficient or independent. The ability of children to be independent in terms of thoughts and behavior signifies differentiation. It is the development of the concept of “self” or self-perception that could lead to good differentiation. In the same way, too much dependency leads to poor differentiation. Differentiation is developed from childhood. Bowen (http://www.thebowencenter.org/pages/conceptds.html) posits that the basic building blocks of a "self" are inborn, but an individual's family relationships during childhood and adolescence primarily determine how much ‘self’ he develops.” Ideally, a child born in a supportive family is likely to develop higher levels of differentiation than those born in divorce parents. Divorce can affect a person’s level of differentiation. In a study conducted by Castro and Bumpass (cited in Titelman 332), divorce was seen as a factor contributing to pre-marital sex, early sex and delinquency. Children of divorce cases were greatly affected by the separation of their parents that they tended to lose love of self and concern about their future. In other words, their poor differentiation due to trauma from the divorce led them to do things that can ruin their own image of self and their future. Poorly differentiated individuals with problems in the family are likely to get involved in crimes and other signs of delinquency. According to Frankenstein (7), delinquency can arise from the person’s wish “to take revenge on the disappointing parent.” Children who feel rebellious towards their separated parents or those who did them harm (i.e., physical punishments) could take their situation as an excuse to do harm to others. Some rebellious children would claim that they are committing crimes just to get the attention of their parents. Others would rebel towards parents due to physical abuse when they were small. Regardless of the situation, single parents or those undergoing divorce should make it a point not to make the children feel the emotional weight they are undergoing. Instead, they should shield their child from emotional and physical suffering, bad influences and negative thoughts. Murray Bowen (http://www.thebowencenter.org/pages/conceptds.html) posits that poor differentiation of self leads to low self-esteem. Individuals who developed poor differentiation may find it difficult to rely on themselves and project trust in others. As such, poor differentiation leads to poor relationships or connectedness. A child with poor differentiation is therefore prone to unstable emotions, which could lead to promiscuousness. If children do not realize their importance in the family and society they would resort to things that could make their presence felt. They do crimes because they have poor knowledge of themselves, they do not feel their responsibility to others, and they do not know how to respond to changes around them. Poor differentiation or the inability to assert oneself in situations within and outside the family could lead children to find means to gain attention such as stealing, taking drugs or acting violent. Poor differentiation can also arise from being overprotected. Frankenstein (7) states that some do violent crimes “to convince [themselves] that they are strong. These individuals developed insecurities because they were usually treated as weak and unable to do things on their own. In order to cover up their weakness, these individuals would prove themselves and others that they are wrong by doing something unexpected such as committing a violent act. In my case, my mother always sheltered me and never allowed me to go out on my own for fear of any harm to be done to me. Nevertheless, I view this overprotectiveness as positive because my mother does not make me feel weak or unable to do things. Rather, she supports me and always told me that I can do things if I persevere. I believe it is the establishment of positive feelings such as love and affection that helped to make me feel this way. Those who view their parents’ overprotectiveness as negative may have a different experience. Some may have been told that they could not equate their parents’ achievements, others could have authoritarian parents who never listened to their children, thus built insecurity in their kids. Insecurity due to poor economic conditions can likewise lead to poor differentiation and even delinquency. Some children may find it difficult to assert themselves with other kids. They feel inferior because of poor economic background. Finding it difficult to be accepted, these children could be led to stealing out of envy or rebellion against the society they are in. Although school personnel can help address the problem, the parents should be able to identify and support the need of children for emotional security despite the economic conditions. The role of the parents in developing a good level of differentiation is therefore a requirement in every family. Emotional support and trust are recipes for developing positive behavior. If children are well supported, there is hope that they will value the good over the bad such as schooling over committing crimes or working professionally instead of stealing. Addressing poor differentiation of each child in the family could help prevent delinquency. As discussed, divorce, lack of love and support, overprotectiveness, and insecurity will not do children any good but lead them to poor differentiation and delinquency. The parents’ role in achieving independence, self-worth and contentment with what one possesses is very crucial to each child. Despite divorce status in the family, parents should be able to build a strong foundation of love and support with their children because only then can children attain a high level of differentiation. Poor triangulation in the family could also cause poor family dynamics and further result in delinquency. Bowen also introduced the concept of triangles in family systems. The triangle is composed of two persons who are stably or unstably connected and another who acts as an outsider to the relationship. The image below illustrates the concept of the triangle. Fig. 1 Bowen’s Triangle Illustrating the Children as the Outsider in the Family In a family, the husband and wife are the two connected individuals before they have a child. When a child is born, he/she is the outsider who forms the third angle in the triangle. Later on, the outsider becomes the insider and either the husband or the wife becomes the outsider in the relationship. The conflicts and family dynamics within the triangle make the relationship either strong or destructed. In our family, the concept of the triangle applies as my father becomes an outsider to my relationship with my mom. Although they did not separate, I could feel the tension every now and then as my mother would always defend me even though I made a mistake. My father would usually get mad but could not do anything to break the triangle. Learning from Bowen, I realized that I should also build a triangle with my father and step out a little from my mother in order to give way to the triangle between my parents. Applying the concept of the triangle in real-life situation will help parents to control and maintain good family dynamics. Consequently, equipped with knowledge of Bowen’s triangles, parents will find it easier to determine outsiders in their children’s life and the effects that outside forces can bring to the child and even to the whole family. With this, they will find it easier to lead children to good influences and save them from the bad ones. Poor triangulation in the family could lead to delinquency. According to Frankenstein, delinquency can be noted in some “children whose love-needs have remained unsatisfied…and express their suffering aggressively” (7). When children feel isolated or at a loss in the family system, they can be led to aggressiveness and poor triangulation. This happens as they turn to other people outside the family and form triangles out of the family. In such scenario, the parent will have difficulty claiming the child back as s/he has formed a separate triangle where s/he is not an outsider but a main participant as follows: Figure 2. Bowen’s triangle with the parent as the outsider. When children felt the inefficiency of the parents to provide the love and support they need, they have a strong tendency to turn away from them and find comfort somewhere else. According to a study by Ainsworth, Blehar, Waters and Wall (cited in Simpson and Rholes 168), infants who were not comfortable with their caregivers did not seek support from their caregivers when they felt distressed. “Instead, they coped internally without relying on social support.” Therefore, children or even grown-ups who felt detachment from their parents due to neglect or lack of emotional security are likely to turn to friends or other social support when in crucial need. This idea leads us to emphasize the importance of attachment from the early years of a child up to the time s/he is able to form a triangle with the family. Considering the establishment of a triangular connection with the members of the family, parents should always see to it that children are not the outsiders in the family. Rather, one of the parents should adjust to fit the needs of the children because it would be easier for parents to be outsiders than for children to take that role. It is also common for fathers to be outsiders when the mother just gave birth because babies normally need more attention than grown-ups. In this case, the father should understand his role as a provider of support to the insiders in the triangle. Consequently, he should be willing to take the role of an outsider to fit the child in the triangle. Inability to perform the outsider’s role and give support to the mother and child could lead to disagreements, separation, and even divorce. Therefore, knowledge of Bowen’s triangles would lead parents and other members of the family how to construct a more solid foundation and dynamic system. Conclusion The numerous crimes and acts of violence in the country and around the world pose an incredible challenge to the most basic unit of society, the family. Solving the problem at the family level is a preventive approach to social crimes. Seeing from the preventive angle, parents should be aware of their children’s struggles for attachment, differentiation and triangulation. They should provide the right amount of support, esteem, and guidance to the child, keeping in mind that every aspect of nurturing could lead to either a positive or negative behavior. With knowledge and ability to portray proper roles in the family, parents will succeed in producing responsible and mature individuals. Delinquency can be eradicated if children are raised in strong family foundations and social support systems. The role of society in the life of a growing child is very important but parents hold the key to a strong personal foundation. Filled with the right amount of love and support, children will learn the value of their life and that of others, hence respect others and avoid violence. Strong attachment, differentiation and triangulation are the keys to a better society. I have been a witness to this because in my own family, the love and support that my parents give me lead me to be a good person. In order for other children to feel this, parents need to be informed of the ways to establish the three factors in their family. Moreover, as some parents find it difficult to stay together, they should find a way at least to sustain the emotional needs of their children. They should take child rearing as a responsibility not only to their family but to the society as a whole. Works Cited Ainsworth, M. D. S., and Bell, S. M. “Attachment, Exploration, and Separation: Illustrated by the Behavior of One-Year-Olds in a Strange Situation. 1970. Child Development, 41, 49-67. “Bowen Theory.” N.d. The Bowen Center. Accessed 29 April 2013. Web.Bowlby, John. A Secure Base. NY: Routledge, 2005. Bretherton, Inge. The Origins of Attachment Theory: John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth. Developmental Psychology. Vol. 28, 1992: 759-775. Canter, R. Family Correlates of Female and Male Delinquency. Criminology. Vol.20; 149-167. Frankenstein, Carl. Varieties of Juvenile Delinquency. London: Gordon and Breach Science Publishers, 1970. Hoeve, Machteld, Geert Jan Stams, Claudia van der Put, Judith Semon Dubas, Peter van der Laan and Jan Gerris. “A Meta-Analysis of Attachment to Parents and Delinquency.” 27 January 2012. Journal of Abnormal Psychology. 21 April 2013. Web. Juvenile Justice Basic Statistics. 2011. Frontline PBS. 22 April 2013. Web. Simpson, Jeffrey and Steven Rholes. Attachment Theory and Close Relationships. NY: Guilford Press, 1988. Titelman, Peter. Clinical Applications of Bowen’s Family Systems Theory. CA: Haworth Press, Inc., 1998. Read More