Dealing with Anxiety - Essay Example

? Dealing with Anxiety Dealing with Anxiety In life, we normally encounter things that we do not want to think about or deal with; in such cases we develop ways to protect ourselves from such things. These protective ways to cope with anxiety are known as defensive mechanisms. In most cases, these mechanisms work unconsciously to distort reality. I do not like these mechanisms though they happen unconsciously because they can be unhealthy especially when they are overused in order to avoid dealing with problems. On the contrary, they can also be adapted to enable us to function normally. Although not most people understand anxiety, it is a fact that in our day-to-day life or activities we are confronted with it. Personally, I do not like anxiety because of its effects on one’s life such as stress and depression. Therefore, to cope with it, I have developed these mechanisms, which helps me reduce or deal with its effects. Sometimes l find life fun full of surprises with challenges, but I always find a way to suit in whichever situation is in to avoid further complication. In fact, I do not let anxiety ruin my happiness, or self-esteem and this is a mechanism acquired since childhood. I too do not have issues with people who care less about anxiety because to some extend is more of personal perspective. There are different defense mechanisms to deal with anxiety. Anxiety varies amongst individuals depending on the type. A person may portray different defensive mechanisms for the same or different types of anxieties. Some of these defense mechanisms include sublimation, and displacement. It may refer to transferring frustrations, feelings, or impulses to people or objects. These may be less threatening in that when we have an unpleasant encounter with our friends, we transfer our frustration to house helps, wives, kids, or even to pets. It is important to note that; intellectualization entails the turning of our thinking away from stressful or emotional aspect of the situation. Instead, one should focus on a thought that is cool, abstract, and analytical. This means avoiding the true reasons for unacceptable behavior by explaining it in a rational or logical way. Projection involves blaming somebody else to be the cause of our unacceptable behavior or feelings. This works portraying totally opposite feeling, behavior, or impulse towards something in order to hide the true feelings. In a case where I hate someone so much, I treat him/her in an excessive friendly manner to hide my true feelings, and repression. Sometimes we may neglect information regarding our awareness by embracing several aspects such as suppression, and denial. These mechanisms are explained in the below life examples. Late last year, I sat for my certified public accountant (CPA) courses exam. I was extremely optimistic that I would pass with excellence in the three papers I did. A lot of anxiety surrounded my waiting of waiting of the results. I decided not to allow myself to be carried away by the wave of enthusiasm, which can lead to anxiety. Therefore, after the exams I kept myself very much preoccupied with other useful activities, which demanded much attention and at the same time draw me away from that mood of exam results because after all I knew I had done my best. In addition, I did not want something, which had already passed to affect my present activities. After some time, the results were out and I had felt in one paper. I was very quick to pass the blame to the instructor of that paper. First, this made me feel guilty free and has faith in myself that given the chance and opportunity I can pass that paper. Besides, it helped me protect my self-esteem and self-concept. This type of defense mechanism is known as rationalization. I think of my nephew who in his early childhood had excessive anger. While in school, he used to fight other kids even to the extent of hurting them. Many people including his parents thought he would change with time as he gets mature, but things got worse as he grew. His parents used to quarrel him and beat him so much as to see if he can realize what he was doing was wrong. I thought of advising my brother to encourage his son to join karate clubs, but the biggest problem to me was how my brother will think towards my suggestion and me. This was very hard to me because I knew my brother had many ambitions on his son to excel academically. I had to take heart and explain to my brother the fact that, even when my nephew joined the karate club does not mean he will not excel in academics. I talked to him about it, and as I thought he was not happy with my suggestions, I used to remind him to change his stand and allow his son join karate. He finally accepted but on condition that his academic performance will not get down because of him joining the club (Dreher, 2004). It did not take long for him to convince his son to register into karate club since he liked fighting. When he joined, he was very good both in the club and academically. Things changed as time went on; he became very happy with his parent and much disciplined never to fight people as he used to. He exuded excellence in both karate and academics. This propelled him use his anger in maturity and socially acceptable way. This is what is called sublimation as a defensive mechanism. Sometimes years back, I used to have a friend whom we used to share different ideas and thoughts in our day-to-day life. Interestingly, i started noticing that she reacts in a very strange manner especially when we talking about people of the opposite sex. Other times she used to be absent-minded. While talking to her, I started being too keen to her more so to the things she dislikes most .I even started inquiring and asking her more about her questionable character, but I discovered that the more closer I become to her, the more she went deeper and deeper hiding it and so at first I felt like giving up. Since to me she was not just a friend but also a friend in deed, I had a second thought of persisting until she will open her heart and talk to me. It was not an easy job to me because she even started avoiding and I remember her final sentiment to me was to stop insisting it is too personal and confidential. Yes to some extent, I agreed, but I still felt that I could be very useful to her. I continued to share different talks with her so as to strength the trust she had to me. Five months down the line, she paid a visit to me one evening. We chatted until midnight, and before we ended, I pleaded her to tell me. She was too shy and in deep pain that she faced opposite direction and narrated the whole story. Full of shock and sympathy to realize that his or her herd boy sexually abused when she was ten years old, and he threatened her not to mention to anyone. She mentioned to me that her life has been full of nightmares and even though she tries to forget, sometimes those memories come fresh. I made several attempts guiding and counseling in my bid help her erase the unwanted memories out of her life. This was not a one-day event but a gradual change, which required patience. Finally and this kind of defensive mechanism is called repression In short, different people develop different defensive mechanisms depending on the kind of anxiety he/she is confronted. Certain number of these mechanisms occurs unconsciously while others consciously. I therefore conclude by paying attention to the fact that even though these defensive mechanisms help us to deal with anxiety, some may have bad or adverse effect to the immediate people or objects. For example, displacement may be a good defensive mechanism to anxiety when someone has a bad day at a job. Since he/she can’t confront boss, on his/her home arrival may start fighting kids, pets or to some extent breaking objects so as to transfer the frustration and feel relieved since these things are less threatening or can’t fight back. This leads to destruction of property and hurting of innocent people. Intellectualization as a defensive mechanism too has shortcoming in the sense that if left un-attended it would create even more anxiety. For example if a person is diagnosed with killer disease and goes ahead to study about the disease so as to avoid thinking of those stressful situation but instead take cool and analytical manner, a small mistake in the process can worsen the anxiety by making that person convinced the disease has no cure and he/she will die. Repression also if not done in a good way can make those past memories not to disappear completely and may continue influencing someone’s behavior. Reference Dreher, H. (2004). The anxiety book: developing strength in the face of fear. Riverhead Books. Read More