Earlier Attachment Issues in Couples Relationship - Case Study Example

? Earlier Attachment Issues in Couple’s Relationship Challenges faced by couples There are a number of challenges that the individuals inthe case study faces. The first challenge is the marital satisfaction. Marital satisfaction is a crucial ingredient that is necessary as far as maintenance of the relationship is concerned. However, the individual presented in the case lacks this invaluable component. Lack of marital satisfaction is attributable to the presence of a child. The partners cannot concentrate in their marital affairs because part of their time is devoted towards bringing up the child. However, the problem is that the two partners have different inclination towards the child. Fayid does not seem to care much about the child because he is not the father. Because of this, there are changes in division of childcare and household labor (Frum, 2000). Coping with these changes is a problem and hence each of the partners seems not satisfied. Another issue that seems to be plaguing the couples presented in the case is communication problems. Communication is an imperative component of any relationship. Complete communication is very important. The case provided implies that the couples to not communicate effectively. Because of this, it is difficult for the couples to sustain intimacy, discuss crucial problems, and try to change behavior for the partner. The two couples seem to have different ideas about the child. In other words, there is a conflict over the childcare. According to the role conflict model, the conflict over the childcare brings about reorganization of the social roles along traditional lines. Such reorganization would eventually results in issues such as psychological stress and downgrading of the professional roles (Baumeister, 1991). According to the case, Fayid seem to be more attached to the professional roles than the care giving roles. Because of this, Rachel is likely to be experiencing psychological stress because she herself primarily in a care giving role. She seems overburdened and feel that she is not receiving enough help from her partner. Restriction of freedom model is another obstacle to the couples. Fayid appears to be restricted from doing his personal missions. This is evidence by his decision to decline the invitation. This move implies that he had other missions to do and hence he did not make for the invitation (Frum, 2000). Another problem facing the couples is the issue of interdependence. Interdependence occurs when one of the partners seem to be committed in his or her mission. The issue of interdependence is evidenced during the birthday of the son. Rachel seems to be committed to the day whereas Fayid is not concerned. This shows that the two couples are not dependent on each other. Interdependence inhibits the maintenance of the relationship. It hampers the three major component of love: intimacy, passion, and commitment. The case also shows that there is lack of commitment. Fayid does not seem to be committed towards bringing up the son. On the other hand, Rachel seems to be involved in the raising her son. Lack of commitment is attributed to the conflict over the childcare (Feeney, Peterson, &Noller, 1994). Counselor’s intervention From the foregoing discussion, it would be easier to design an intervention strategy that the counselor should adopt as far as the resolution of the issues is concerned. One issue that the counselor must address is the issue of marital satisfaction the counselor should sensitize the couples of the fact that marital satisfaction is an imperative component that the married couples should experience. The counselor should further explore those aspects that enhance the marital satisfaction. The counselor should make the couples understand the main building blocks of love. These include the intimacy, passion, and decision/commitment (Baumeister, 1991). This understanding would enable the couples infer where the problem is. Another aspect that must be addressed is the idea of communication. The counselor must inform the couples that maintenance of an adult love or relationship must be supported by effective communication. The communication is the only way through which the intimacy is sustained (Belsky &Pensky, 1988). Because of this, the couples should be encouraged to discuss their issues and alter their ways of living in order to accommodate the challenges brought by the child. Changing behaviors also assist in intervening for the impact of interdependence. According to the arguments made by Kelly (1979), interdependence theory occurs when partners have different ideas about certain activities. However, the theory further claims that changing their behaviors in ways that incorporate the partners’ concerns allows for new levels of commitment to develop in the relationship. Consequently, the counselor must devote most of his or her time advising the couples for the need to change their behaviors in order to accommodate change. The counselor should assist them change their behaviors in ways that incorporate the partners’ concerns to allow for new level of commitment to develop in the relationship. In an attempt of bringing about the change, the counselor must understand the multilayered emotional drama underlying the couple’s relationship. The aspect of emotional dependency must be discussed comprehensively. The couples should be informed of the significance of the emotional dependency (Anderson, Russell, &Schumm, 1983). Each of them should know that however much they have other responsibilities to meet, they should borne in their mind that as humans, we have a wired in, which is even more basic than food or sex. This is safe haven of partner’s closeness and caring. Just as the attachment theory claims, the counselor should inform the couples that the most basic need of people form the cradle to the grave is for a safe emotional connection with each other. The counselor should further try to integrate the significance of this unique emotional connection with the day-to-day chores such as professional chores. He or she should inform the couples that this unique sense of connection with loved ones offers secure base from which to deal with the world. It enhances the professional output as well as facilitates other personal responsibilities. the counselor should reiterate the fact that the more confident the couples are, that each of them exist in the mind and heart of the other, the more he or she can explore and take on the world (Feeney, Peterson, &Noller, 1994). From an attachment perspective, how do earlier attachment issues of Tayib and Rachel seem to influence their relationship? The case of Tayib and Rachel implies that the two couple did not had stronger attachment during the onset of their relationship. The main factor underlying the inability of the couples have a strong attachment base is the fact that Rachel had had a child with another man. Because of this, it was difficult for Tayib to fully believe that Rachel fully loved him. There is high likelihood that Tayib had a notion that Rachel still has connection with the former boyfriend. This hinders the strong attachment between the two couples. This is evidence by absence of commitment in their relationship (Frum, 2000). Summary From the foregoing discussion, a number of issue came out. It is clear that adults love is anchored on three major building blocks. These include the passion, the commitment, and the intimacy. These three components must be balanced in a manner that none of them is underrepresented, as this would affect the stability of love. However, it is also clear that the issue of emotional dependency, which is based on closeness and caring between the partners, is a central requirement that bind two adults together. The couples must acknowledge the fact the fact that the idea of caring and closeness is not a sign of weakness and hence each must be dedicated towards emotional dependence. Lastly, the counselors must understand the multilayered emotional drama facing the couples in order to resolve the marital problems. References Anderson, S. A., Russell, C. S., &Schumm, W. R. (1983). Perceived marital quality and family life cycle categories: A further analysis. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 45, 127- 139. Baumeister, R. F. (1991). Meanings of life. New York: Guilford. Belsky, J., &Pensky, E. (1988). Marital change across the transition to parenthood. Marriage and Family Review, 12, 133-156. Feeney, J., Peterson, C., &Noller, P. (1994). Equity and marital satisfaction over the family life cycle. Personal Relationships, 1, 83-99. Frum, D. (2000). How we got here: The 70s, the decade that brought you modern life (for better or worse). New York: Basic Books. Read More