Family Gatherings - Coursework Example

Family Studies Final Paper al Affiliation Family Tradition Family gatherings are a very common event especially in the modern life. It gives the members of a family the opportunity to come together after their various engagements and schedules and spend some times together. Such gatherings are held for different purpose at different times. The nature of the gatherings and how they are conducted depends entirely on the nature of the family and their needs. Every family has its own arrangements concerning the meetings. In my case, this kind of gathering is greatly valued and emphasized on. We normally gather as a family once a week. It takes place on Friday every week and every member of the family is expected to be there. It is only when one has very excusable engagement that he or she can be allowed to miss the weekly gathering. The arrangement is so much entrenched in the family that it has become a norm. Everyone takes Friday evenings to be synonymous with the family meeting. This gathering is intended to allow the family members reflect on their lives, how the week had been and also share and discuss their challenges and achievements. We are a closely knit family and this event avails a much needed platform that is used to help one another when needed. It is the responsibility of the members to help the other to stand on his own and face the various life challenges. The achievements and positive occurrences and also celebrated in the meetings. My father always wants me to be able to stand on my own and face various challenges in life and he uses the gathering to encourage me a lot. There are two theories that appear to be very applicable in this noble tradition in my family. They ate the attachment theory and the family system theory. Attachment Theory Bjorklund & Blasi (2011) defines the attachment theory to be a psychological model that tries to describe various aspects of interpersonal relations between individuals. This is not a general theory of relationship but rather one that addresses a specific facet of various interpersonal relationships. It reveals and tries to explain how a person reacts or behaves within a certain relationship when they are hurt, separated from people they love or perceive certain threat to the relationship. The attachment basically depends on the individual’s ability to develop and have trust in himself and the other party in the relationship (Titelman, 2012). An example is among infants where attachments direct the child to seek proximity with the care giver or the mother when they perceive a certain threat. They do this expecting that they will be protected from any danger when they are new the mother or the care giver. It is supposed that the propensity to develop these attachments come about as a result of evolutionary pressure. This is because the attachment in itself will influence the survival of the individual when they are faced with a certain danger or threat in their lives. Studies have revealed that the kind of attachment developed at various stages of life especially during child development; shape the expectations of the person in later relationships (White, Livesey & Hayes, 2012). Generally speaking, there are four kinds of attachments considered in this theory. They include secure, anxious- ambivalent, disoriented and anxious- avoidant attachments. This model is greatly used in study of infant mental health, toddler behaviors and future relationships. It is also applicable when studying how family members relate to each other based on the types and kinds of attachments developed (Platt, 2008). This theory is visible in the family tradition when one considers scenarios where a single member of the facility is facing difficulties. As indicated earlier, the weekly gatherings are normally used to find solutions to various problems that the members may be facing. When a single member is facing difficulties at work, school or at personal level, the first people to know are the members of the family during such gatherings. The family members have developed certain kinds of trust in each other. They view one another as capable of protecting the other in case of danger or difficulty. When the person talks about the problem or threat during the weekly gathering, they automatically expect some form of care, protection and security. The rest will basically empathize with them and think of the best available solution to the issue at hand. This kind of feeling comes as a result of the relationship that has been developed over the years and from previous observations where other members have found help by sharing their problems with the rest of the family. My father has always been instrumental in helping come up with solutions during such gatherings. He looks for the best appropriate point of actions that will ensure that the hurdle is effectively handled. As such we are always looking up to him in the gatherings to give solutions and guidance to the challenges encountered. Family System Theory The second theory is the family system theory. This is a model that was introduced by Dr. Bowen. It states that a person cannot be understood in isolation but rather when they are part of a family (Platt, 2008). The family acts as an emotional unit. They are defined to be systems that are made up of interconnected persons and each member of the unit or system cannot be understood without considering the others. In this theory, it is argued that a family is a system in which each of the members has a certain role to play. Moreover, the members have certain rules to respect as per the nature of the family (Coll, Bearer & Lerner, 2014). Individuals are expected to respond to one another in accordance to the roles they play in that particular setting. Patterns of behavior develop within the boundaries of the families and it makes each member to somehow behave and react in a predictable way in given situations. By maintaining the same pattern of behavior, a balance is created within the system. When there is a dysfunction, another member may be forced to take up the roles of the other individual so as to create a balance and maintain stability. Such changes that are meant to create stability at times may lead a shift towards a completely new equilibrium. If it is maintained, it will dictate the new pattern of behavior within that given unit. The application of this particular model in the weekly gathering tradition is seen by considering the triangle in the family. According to this theory, a relationship is the basic unit of any emotional system and is unstable when it takes place in a two person system. As such, there is always the need for a third party to stabilize it. This forms a triangle where each side of the triangle represents an individual member of the system. When anxiety for example faces one person in the triangle, it spills over to the next two people. A clear illustration comes out when one considers the difficult moments which have faced our family in the weekly gatherings. In the meetings, one member can share the problem or challenge he is facing. In some cases, the problem may be a major one that leaves the person in a state of restlessness and stress. When the information is shared with my father, he automatically becomes very much affected by it. He sympathizes with the individual to an extent that one may think that he is the person facing the issue in question. At time, he may also become so much affected with it that it is hard for him to provide a solution or a way forward. In such instances, my mother automatically steps in as the third party to try to help in looking for a way forward. This reduces the impact of the problem and creates equilibrium in the long run. This has always been the norm and in all cases when my father finds himself in such a situation during the weekly gatherings, a third party will automatically step in to help out. Micro, Mezzo and Macro Perspectives to Family Tradition The micro, macro and mezzo level perspective to this tradition gives information of how its impact can be seen. The micro level perspective is ideally the smaller unit of analysis of any social science behavior in various settings. This is also known as the local level that deals with the individual setting (Landa & Duschinsky, 2013). This level gives an overview of how the practice or the tradition influences the behavior of each member of the family at the individual level. Due to the long kept tradition of meeting and sharing problems in order to find solutions every Friday, each person has developed reliance on each other in various aspects of their lives. This comes out through the various consultations which are witnessed whereby we all ask for each other’s ideas and views on particular issues. Every individual has therefore developed a sense of dependence on the other especially on our father. The members therefore tend to be securely attached to one another and have positive view about them especially when they are within the family unit. They also have positive view about each other. Mezzo level analysis on the other hand shows the influence of the tradition at family and community level (Waters, Corcoran& Anafarta, 2005). It tries to reveal the connections that exist between the micro and the micro levels of analysis. Therefore, it comes out as the mid-range impact of the traditions. In this perspective, the influence of the practice can be seen on how the members of the family behave and relate to each other within the family boundaries. They are all comfortable with the presence of one another and find solace in sharing their problems and challenges with the rest of the family. Each one of them strives to offer help thus resulting in formation of the family triangles even outside the weekly gatherings. The final perspective is the macro level analysis. This is generally viewing the impact from a broader perspective in terms of relations with other members of the society. It entails looking at how the members interact with a larger populations found outside the boundaries of the family (Terry & Orlans, 2014). This may possibly be at the workplace, school and in social gatherings. Most members of the unit appear to be taking the same trend of helping people even in the wider social setting. They join in to form part of a triangle in the outside setting basically because they are used to doing that within the family boundary. When it comes to dealing with foreigners or strangers, it is also evident that the tradition has had an impact. Since we are all a close knit family, opening up to strangers is not always easy as we all feel more secure and protected when dealing with persons we know. This however changes when interacting with strangers in the presence of another family member. In such a case, the relationships and attachments developed through the tradition makes the person to feel safer and secure as the other member acts as a sources of security. Conclusion The weekly family gatherings have been an integral aspect of our family for quite a long time. They provide each of the family members with the opportunity to share various experiences and also find solutions to diverse issues they face in the course of their personal, work and school life. Behavior patterns which are coming out of this tradition are better understood on the basis of the attachment and the family system theories. These two models provide frameworks which explain the various trends and patterns of behavior resulting from the gathering tradition. Its impact is vivid at micro, mezzo and micro levels. In all these cases, all the members appear to be comfortable when they are dealing with one another because of the level of attachment and the relationships which have been developed over the course of time. It is a trend and pattern which may be difficult to break as it is part and parcel of the family now. Family Genogram References Bjorklund, D & Blasi, C. (2011). Child and Adolescent Development: an Integrated Approach. Kentucky, KY: Cengage Learning. Coll, C., Bearer, E & Lerner, R. (2014). Nature and Nurture: the Complex Interplay of Genetic and Environmental Influences of Human Behavior and Development. New York: Psychology Press. Landa, S., & Duschinsky, R. (2013). Crittenden’s dynamic–maturational model of attachment and adaptation. Review of General Psychology, 17(3), 69. Platt, L. (2008). The Family Genogram Interview: Reliability and Validity of a New Interview Protocol. Ann Arbor: Proquest. Terry, L. & Orlans, M. (2014). Attachment, Trauma, and Healing: Understanding and Treating Attachment Disorder in Children and Families. London: Jessica Kingsley. Titelman, P. (2012). Triangles: Bowen Family Systems Theory Perspectives. London: Rutledge. Waters, E., Corcoran, D. & Anafarta, M. (2005). Attachment, other relationships, and the theory that all good things go together. Human Development, 48, 80–84. White, F., Livesey, D & Hayes, B. (2012). Developmental Psychology: From Infancy to Development. Boston: Pearson. Read More