The Power of Body Language by Tonya Reiman - Essay Example

The Power of Body Language by Tonya Reiman Overview of the Book The Power of Body Language, which was written by Tonya Reiman, is an average manuscript developed to hone one’s interpersonal and intrapersonal skills. This book falls into the category of “self- help” literature, since the subtitle addresses the reader directly and suggests that the book will tell the reader how to identify ineffective communication and effective communication. The topic specifically deals with body language and the scope of the book illustrates how nonverbal communication impacts relationships both professionally and personally. The intended audience is quite broad, as the author strives to encompass individuals who would like to improve their communication skills and interpersonal interactions beyond verbal communication. Components of the book are factual and the author’s presentation of the material was not technical as evidenced by her informal writing style. One will also find a mixture of information and opinion, along with many examples from authentic or imagined situations. The book is well structured, with an introduction, nine chapters and a plethora of references at the end. The chapters have general titles and are succinctly and sequentially presented into mini sections Author’s Purpose The use of the word “Power” in book’s title gives away the author’s tendency to see body language as a technique for enhancing a person’s ability to control the world, and other people, through body language. I strongly confirm the position that the author used social engineering methodologies to illustrate her points of view relative to the power of body language. Through anecdotal stories, the author demonstrated how she “helped” people to change their personal presentation style. There seemed also to be a bias towards creating certain conformity, especially for women. For example, the case study of “Cindy” who preferred wearing “tight suits and stilettos” (p. 14) and was transformed in two or three weeks from “overdone office floozy to striking young professional” (p. 14). This stereotypical language betrays a tendency in the book to dramatize and over-simplify, and for my own professional purposes, I would be much more accepting and respectful of the choices people make in their own non-verbal language. The book also has a tendency to make general judgments about a person’s appearance such as “In today’s world having yellow teeth is like dying a slow social death…” (p. 230). There may be reasons such as illness, medication, poverty and/or depression which can contribute to an individual’s appearance falling outside of the “ideal” professional look. Also, it appears that the author spoke in generalities and may have minimized medical conditions and/or multi-cultural values and norms contributing to an individual’s appearance or body language. The author implies that transformation is within reach of every reader. For many people who are overweight or underweight, older than average, living with disability or any number of other physical and social challenges, this is too simplistic. Just advising people to “lose the weight” and pointing out that “a landmark Harvard study found that overweight women earn an average of $6,710 less a year than women who are not overweight” (p. 215) could actually be a harmful reinforcement of social prejudice. These observations show that the author wants to promote a particular and rather elitist view of body language as an extension of a dominant and successful personality. This may reflect a preoccupation with the worlds of media and business, and this means that the purpose of the book is to address issues in these areas, rather than in general educational or therapeutic contexts. Personal Reaction I found this to be an interesting book; with many useful tips, but at the same time I did not warm to the author’s style. The breezy and casual tone suggested to me that the author trivializes some of the material, and I found that there was too much emphasis on flirting and gaining the attention of potential partners. One feature which I found rather distracting was the frequent use of computer analogies to describe how human psychology works, for example in chapter six which deals with first impressions: “The first impression is based on our biological hardwiring to assess and categorize” (p. 235). This appears to be a deliberate tactic, since the author expressly makes this connection: “Do you know how when you’ve typed a query into your computer and hit “search”, the little icon waves or spins or turns a different to let you know the computer is thinking? That’s what’s happening in this person’s brain….” (p. 224). A person’s memory is referred to as a “database” (pp. 224-228) and even the process of growing to like and trust a person is described in terms of a database scan, and “yes” hits. (p. 235). This computing metaphor was sometimes confusingly mixed with biological terms like “mirror neurons” or other colorful descriptive language with the result that some sentences contain a very inelegant mixture of metaphors, for example: “Rapport becomes the glue in this budding relationship; it will spring naturally from your mutual mirror systems…” (p. 235). When reading long passages of the book I found this switching from different fields of imagery quite annoying after a while, because it results in a patchwork of disconnected impressions rather than a consistent view of the topic. Personal Relevance While I did find some useful information for my own personal understanding of body language, I thought that a lot of the book was just common sense. Some of it I did not agree to, for example the way that the analysis seemed to stress the one-to-one relationship between the reader and another person. Chapter seven, for example, asks a whole series of questions about how another person relates to “me,” and chapter eight seems to tutor people in managing self-projection to other people. I have found that people are most interesting when they interact in groups, and this dimension was missing in the book. I also found that I was not convinced or persuaded by the arguments presented in the book, especially those derived from “real” examples. I found that these little anecdotes were more like a women’s magazine than a textbook and so I would be reluctant to follow any of the advice given in the book. Value of the Book I would be very leery about applying the techniques described in the book to a real life education or counseling context. The parts of the book which are useful for education and counseling contexts are the earlier chapters on general biological features such as head and hand gestures, torso signals and the language of space and touch (chapters three and four). These are a good summary of general points that can help a counselor to gauge the emotional state of a person, and adjust his or her behavior to relate well with that person. Beyond that, I found the book over-simplistic and dangerously reliant on stereotypes, particularly in the area of gender relations. I suspect part of the author’s purpose is to make money from people’s insecurities about themselves, and this detracts from the seriousness of the book. References Reiman, T. (2007) The Power of Body Language: How to succeed in every business and social encounter. New York: Pocket Books. Read More