Peer review of classmates' papers - Essay Example

March, Comments: There are just too many grammatical errors in the text to call it a professional writing. You have frequently switched off and on between past and present tense. You should have either maintained past tense throughout the essay, or you should have written the whole essay in present tense. Some of the sentences in which you have made this particular mistake are highlighted below: Throughout the first and second paragraph, you have used present tense. For example, “Aristotle went on to…”…line 7, and then you write, “Aristotle says our function is to use reason…”…line 17, and then in line 20, you switch back to past tense; “Aristotle had a huge impact on later moral philosophers…”…line 20.

Such mistakes absorb the professionalism from writing, and the big ideas presented are all outshined by these petty mistakes, which is very unjust! Apart from the wrong use of tense, you have also made several other grammatical mistakes, which include but are not limited to wrong sentence construction, missing words and use of inappropriate vocabulary. For example, “…one thing, highest good…”…line 3, should have been “…one thing, i.e. the highest good”. “Both of their ideas have been…”…line 3 & 4, should have been “Ideas of both of them…” And then “Aquinas say that laws must be…”…line 28 & 29, should have been “Aquinas says that laws must be…” The grammatical errors pointed out above are only few of the several problems that I see in the paper.

The paper you have written fundamentally compares the ethical beliefs of Aristotle and Aquinas, and is thus a comparison essay. But the way you have structured the essay does not fulfill the requirements of a comparison essay. In order to write a good comparison essay, you must learn that there are two basic ways of structuring an essay. One is the block system and the other is the point by point system. In the block system, the writer describes the ideas, views and opinions of just one person in a whole paragraph, or sometimes, in a series of paragraphs, like you have done.

In the first half of the essay, you have totally discussed Aristotle, and in the second half of it, you have totally discussed Aquinas. This is not a suitable way of structuring a comparison essay as this leads the audience to mixed views about the subjects being compared. After going through the paper, the reader is not able to compare the stance of different people over one particular issue. In the point by point system, the writer compares the views and opinions of all scholars in every single paragraph, and every paragraph holds a particular well defined subject.

This system is the most suitable system for use in a comparison essay because the reader is able to distinguish between the stances of different scholars over a particular issue. Remember that whenever you have to write a comparison essay, always make use of the point by point system of structuring your essay. However, I like the way you conclude the paper by simultaneously discussing Aristotle and Aquinas.