Peer review of classmate's paper - Essay Example

27 February, Comments: You have complied up some very useful information on the ethical debates and vision of both Aristotle and Aquinas. Nonetheless, the quality of paper is hindered by certain factors that you have not taken into consideration that are must for a good comparison essay. In order to draft a high quality comparison essay, you need to be educated on its literary requirements. There are fundamentally two types of structural systems for a comparison and contrast essay, namely the point by point system and the block system.

In the point by point system, every paragraph of your essay defines the consent of both of the two scholars on a specific aspect of the subject of discussion. This provides the reader with very well organized information. Having read such a comparison essay, the reader can easily remember the conflicts of opinions of the scholars that were discussed in the essay. Block system, on the other hand, provides a writer with increased convenience but it does so, on the cost of the quality of comparison.

In the block system of a comparison essay, the writer discusses the opinions of only one scholar in the whole paragraph or a series of paragraphs on several aspects of the subject under consideration, and later, totally discusses the views and opinions of the second scholar. This is exactly what you have done in a major part of the essay. In such a system, the reader forgets the essay’s status of a comparison essay, and takes it as a regular essay. Although the reader gains knowledge about the opinions of both the scholars, yet he/she may feel difficulty recapitulating conflicting views of the two scholars over specific aspects of the subject.

Since you have not compared the views and opinions of Aristotle and Aquinas upon one issue in one paragraph, the usability of essay as a comparison essay has diluted and the paper has become only half as good as it could have been, only had you structured the information properly. Finally, I would like to draw your attention towards certain grammatical errors that have been made in the essay. For example, when you say that, “Aristotle is sure that all human action is performed with a goal”, there should be every in place of all!

It is always advisable to proof read the paper before submission. Many of the grammatical errors are made unintentionally and the writers are often sufficiently educated to identify and correct them themselves. Overall, the paper presents voluminous information about the consents of both Aristotle and Aquinas upon different aspects and theories of ethics. You have put together the opinions of two well known scholars, that makes your paper worth reading and referring to specially by students for educational assignments.

The most significant weaknesses of your paper have been highlighted in the text above. I believe that if you successfully attend to the issues identified in this paper, and address all the factors, you will increase the quality of your writing manifolds.