Kubler-Ross Grief Model to the Book of Job - Assignment Example

? Grief can be defined as the natural human reaction to separation, bereavement or loss, particularly the loss of a loved one. Moreover, thedeath or loss of a person is difficult to handle not only for the grieved family but also for the professional caregivers. Dr. Kubler-Ross was the first to realize that every person goes through a few determined stages in the time of grief. She developed a grief model with five stages – denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance – which she prescribed as necessary for coping with the loss and ensuring healthy grieving. In this article, we shall compare and contrast Kubler-Ross’s grief model to the Book of Job which will make us realize how Job is an example of healthy grieving and how the process of coping with grief has been same since centuries. In addition, we shall get to compare the process of coping with grief in two different religions – Christianity and Buddhism – which will teach us that gaining knowledge of a patient’s religious beliefs is relevant for health care provider so as to ensure good service and support to the dying patient and his family. Moreover, in the later paragraphs we shall discover the relationship and interaction between joy and the grief models which will make us realize the fact that joy and grief are not separate rather they are a part of each other. After doing the above researches, I have realized that by developing an understanding of the grieving and coping processes every health care provider can provide comfort and support to the grieving family in a better way and also come out of his/her personal grief very swiftly. Grief has been referred to as the comprehensive response to death and losses of all kinds, and includes emotional, psychological, social, as well as physical reactions. Numerous models and theories have been evolved by theorists that explain the process and stages involved in grief. In 1969, a psychiatrist Kubler- Ross had devised a grief model to provide a mean for understanding and coping with dying. The model has five stages: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. According to Ross, these five stages are part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with the one we lost. Her theory on stages of grief established the ground for scholars and others who work with grieving people to examine and to work therapeutically with those who mourn. This theory is formed in a sequential and linear order where one stage swiftly moves into the next stage so that in a healthy grief a person should move from shock and denial to acceptance within a timeframe. However, she added that one may not necessarily go through all the stages or in the prescribed order. The model’s primary motive is to provide knowledge about a grief situation, thereby preparing us to cope with life and loss (Kubler-Ross & Kessler, n.d). Comparison of Kubler-Ross’s Grief model to the Book of Job In the Book of Job, the concise prologue starting the story and the concise epilogue finishing it narrates an extended series of dialogues and monologues describing the nature of and reason for suffering within the book. Most of the five stages of grief described by Kubler-Ross can be seen clearly inside this bible text. The Book of Job is the story of a faithful follower of God, Job who suffers innumerable losses one after the other. First, his wealth is looted by marauding bandits, which is followed by the tragic demise of all his children, all happening on the same day. Soon to add to his woes, Job is badly affected with horrible boils all over his body (Book of Job 4:14-20). So much loss simultaneously would make survival difficult for any person. According to Dr. Kubler’s grief model, in the first stage, a person should be in shock and enter into some form of denial (Kubler-Ross & Kessler, n.d). However, Job in the biblical text is neither shocked nor does he enters into the denial stage which is in contrast to the grief model. After such losses, perhaps Job was in shock but he resolute by telling his wife “Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept trouble?”(Book of Job 2:10) Anger forms the second stage of the grief model, a stage where one usually exhibits some kind of anger at oneself or towards others; often towards God (Kubler-Ross & Kessler, n.d). However, in the biblical text, Job being a faithful servant of God does not directs any anger towards God rather directs the anger inwards towards himself and curses the day he was born, “May the day of my birth perish, and the night it was said, ‘A boy is born!’ ” (Book of Job 3:3). The third stage of the grief model is the bargaining stage which Job never enters into even though his wife pleads to “curse God and die!” (Book of Job 2:9). In contrast when God speaks to him, Job replies in Book of Job 40:45, “Behold, I am insignificant; what can I reply Thee? I lay my hand on my mouth.” However he does goes through the fourth stage of Kubler-Ross’s grief model – Depression. Job enters into a certain type of depression when he sits on the ground for seven days and nights completely retreating himself from active life (Book of Job 2:11). Kubler-Ross & Kessler (n.d) have described the last or the fifth stage of the model as the stage where a person needs to make acceptance of the circumstances in some manner since it is necessary for healthy grieving. In case of Job, he learns to live again after his conversation with God; he is once again conferred with affluence and prosperity, and seven sons and three daughters (Book of Job 42:7-16). This shows that Job has completed the fifth stage of the grief model by gaining acceptance of circumstances and moving on in his life. Thus it can be concluded that Job does enters the different stages of Grief model though not all of them and is an example of healthy grieving. Coping with Grief: Buddhism vs. Christianity The grief model has really proved beneficial for both the western and European culture though it may not be universal to other cultures and religions. However, if the health care providers gain insight into the spiritual needs of the different religious beliefs, they can take care and appraise the needs during the time of loss, making the grief model work universally. For example, the religious perspectives of the two religions Christianity and Buddhism is quite different in the process of coping with grief, therefore knowing each religion’s perspective will help the health care provider in assisting the grieved families in recovering from the loss. Although it is true that both the religions are similar in the fact that both stipulate explicit behaviors, prayers and interment ceremonials, and various rites and customs to help mourners in coping with the grief, they are distinct in most other ways. Christians believe that the soul is separate from the physical body and persists even after death and therefore one is united with God, peace, serenity and also reunited with their loved ones after one’s own death as is in the case of Job. Moreover, they believe that every person has only one single life and after death an eternal life lies ahead of them either in hell or heaven. These beliefs have been found to be providing relief and comfort to the grieved during the grief period. However, Buddhists believe that humans are trapped in a repetitive cycle of birth, life, death and rebirth and one’s aim in life should be to escape from this cycle and reach nirvana. According to them, by liberating oneself from all the worldly desires, cravings and emotional attachments, a person can gain ‘enlightenment’ and reach nirvana, and once this is achieved there is no suffering (Park & Halifax, 2011, 358-360). In addition, like the Buddhists the Catholics too believe that the reason for one’s sufferings is his/her own actions and cravings but only sometimes, the rest they take it as a test upon them by God for His higher purposes. For example in the book of Job, God allows Job to suffer in the hands of Satan not for his sins, but to discover whether Job would be faithful to Him or not. However, the Buddhists don’t believe in the same way, rather for them it is necessary to go through the trials of loss and grief to discover the truth of impermanence of everything in life. However, it is a fact that both the Buddhists and Catholics are reassured by rituals performed on behalf of their loved ones and this definitely helps them through the grieving process (Bratcher, n.d). The Relationship and Interaction between joy and the grief models It has been rightfully said that grief and joy are like twin sisters rather than avowed enemies as they are deemed to be. Some believe that one must go through the whole grieving process to experience joy again. By conceding oneself to grief completely, only can one think of coming out of it. The wisdom of the grief process may not be realized when one is in gloom but later on will they realize how the grief process inexplicably swept them towards a joyous conclusion (“Grief/Joy”, n.d). However, there are some who can find joy even in the midst of grief as is explained in the Book of James, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Let perseverance have its perfect work, so that you may be perfect, complete and lacking in nothing” (Book of James 1:2-4). Joy should be envisioned as a pot in which all the emotions can be held, indeed a source for these feelings. As health care provider Vicki D. Joio stated “without the remembered joy there could be no sorrow”. Her friend Vivienne’s loss made her realize that the amount she grieved for her was the amount of joy she had experienced with Vivienne. It is true that one should experience their grief in relation to joy since then only one can enhance harmony, vivacity, and the ability to grow (Joio, 2010). A study was conducted to explore the experiences of parents whose children suffered from major developmental disability. It was revealed that though the parents underwent much torment and grief during the treatment period, they also spoke of love, hope, strength and joy. Despite huge and constant impediments, and the diagnosis that their children were invalid, the parents sustained hope, fought continuously to ensure their children’s survival and development, and spoke about them with appreciation, affection and hopefulness. They emphasized that going through the grief cycle has made them a stronger person and moreover, they could feel joy even in the midst of grief because of the little things their children do and the new outlook formed due to overwhelming changes in their personal beliefs and values (Kearney & Griffin, 2000). Thus, it can be concluded that the relationship between joy and grief is profound and one learns the value of joy only after experiencing grief. My personal view of Grief It is a fact that the death of a patient not only affects his immediate family but also affects the professional caregiver to a great extent. As nurses we are required to remain strong and provide support to the grieving family but there have been situations where I have been unable to handle my personal grief due to my close proximity to the patient. However, by developing a perceptive of the grieving and coping method as well as knowledge of the deep influence of spiritual worldview has caused me to reconsider and reassess my personal view regarding grief. Dr. Kubler-Ross’s grief model has provided the basis for healthy grieving to health care providers like us who are required to deal with grieved families regularly and work therapeutically with those who mourn. The character of Job is a great example of healthy grieving and has taught me that knowledge of different religious beliefs assists in comforting the grieved to a great extent. Moreover, finding joy and hope even in the midst of despair is a part of healthy grieving and is necessary for coping with grief and coming out of it completely. In addition, during my research I found that most of the nurses acknowledged growing into a stronger and better person after experiencing major death cases, when handled and supported by trained grief faculties. Moreover, this study has enhanced my interpersonal and professional growth as a caregiver and changed me as a human being. The grief theory of Kubler-Ross has successfully taught everyone the process of healthy grieving and raised the experience of the health care providers beyond the level of usual care to provide comfort to a fellow human being. References Book of James. In The Holy Bible: New Testament. Retrieved from http://www.readbookonline.net/title/16685/ Book of Job. In the Holy Bible: Old Testament. Retrieved from http://www.readbookonline.net/read/16644/43033/ Bratcher, S.L. (n.d). Why do we suffer? Buddhism vs. Christianity [PDF document]. Retrieved from Reformed Perspective online website http://reformedperspective.ca/index.php/component/content/article/55-christian- living/196-why-do-we-suffer-buddhism-vs-christianity Grief/Joy (n.d). Gratefulness.org. Retrieved from http://www.gratefulness.org/t/griefjoy.htm Joio, V. D. (2010, Sep. 2010). The Way of Joy and Grief: A Reflection. In Way of Joy. Retrieved from http://wayofjoyblog.wordpress.com/2010/09/26/the-way-of-joy-and-grief-a- reflection/ Kearney, P. M. &Griffin, T. (2001, Feb. 01). Between Joy and Sorrow: Being a parent of a child with developmental disability. Journal of Advanced Nursing, 34(5), 582-592. Retrieved from http://195.23.253.118/documentos/intPrecoce/Documentos/Between%20joy%20and%20s orrow- being%20a%20parent%20of%20a%20child%20with%20developmental%20disability.pd f Kubler-Ross, E. & Kessler, D. (n.d). The Five Stages of Grief. Retrieved from http://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/ Park, L. C. & Halifax, R. J. (2011, Oct. 01). Religion and spirituality in Adjusting to Bereavement: Grief as burden, grief as gift. In Grief and Bereavement in Contemporary Society (chap. 27, p. 355-364). Retrieved from http://www.upaya.org/uploads/pdfs/GriefasBurdenGriefasGift1.10.11.pdf Read More