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Mate Selection - Essay Example

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I think men and women ultimately look for the same characteristics in a long-term partner, no matter if the relationship is conventional or between the same sex. Regardless of their innate differences, men and women look for a partner who they can communicate with, both…
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Mate Selection I think men and women ultimately look for the same characteristics in a long-term partner, no matter if the relationship is conventional or between the same sex. Regardless of their innate differences, men and women look for a partner who they can communicate with, both non-verbally and verbally. Communication is a very important part of a relationship. Poor communication skills are reasons why couples have conflict. (Greenberg, et. al., 2011, p. 82) Communication does not only involve saying words but listening to the partner’s words as well. Experts say that communication between genders is often a result of dissimilar vocabularies. (Greenberg, et. al., 2011, p. 73) Communication also involves sexual communication. Intimacy also plays a big role in the success of a relationship. An individual who would like to let another person be a part of his or her life for a long period of time will search for someone who can share his or her views on sex.
I think an example of this can be found in the movie The Mirror Has Two Faces starring Barbra Streisand as Rose and Jeff Bridges as Gregory. In this movie, Rose is a plain-looking but witty and charming woman who had been single all her life and would like to find a handsome man to marry. Gregory, on the other hand, is a smart and sexually active professor who is trying to find a life-partner who is plain and not sexually attractive. Because sex is always appealing to him, Gregory is usually in a dilemma with sexually attractive partners because he gets easily distracted and loses focus. The two eventually marry but later separate because Rose is dissatisfied with the lack of intimacy in the marriage. Even if they were able to consequently resolve their sexual problem during the movie, their obvious miscommunication was the main reason for their separation.
Another example, this time in real-life, is what happened to someone I know. He is American and married a Japanese woman. After having their child, the wife started sleeping in the child’s room more often than sharing her husband’s bed. The couple also did not have sex as often as they did before. After a year, the American husband filed for divorce. Now, he is married to an American woman who enjoys drinking, rock music and sex like he does. He says it is like being married to himself.
An example of a successful relationship based on communication is that of the longest married couple in America. John and Ann Betar of Connecticut celebrated their 80th wedding anniversary in November 2012. (Sher, 2013) When asked about their secret, the couple shared they compromise and don’t hold a grudge against each other.
Good communication withstands issues brought about by gender, culture and personality. Being aware of gender differences can help individuals think of how to express their feelings in a way their partner would understand. (Greenberg, 2011, p. 73) Research has also discovered that gender makes up only 1% of factors that affect communication behavior. (Greenberg, 2011, p. 74)




Reference:
Greenberg, J, et. al. (2011) Sexual Communication. Exploring the Dimensions of Human Sexuality. (pp. 66 - 91) Sudbury, MA: Jones and Bartlett Publishers, LLC.
Sher, L. (2013, Feb. 6) Connecticut Couple Honored as “Longest Married” in U.S. abcNEWS. Retrieved from http://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/connecticut-couple-honored-longest-married-u-205715329--abc-news-topstories.html Read More
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