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At the end of the conversation, I paraphrased what he had said to make sure that I had all the "facts" correct. My friend said that he had a good conversation and was happy that he could help me with my school project.
The difference between eliciting comments and giving meaning to something a client says is best served by examples. When one is eliciting a comment from a client, the therapist is asking for more information about something specific. As an example, a client may be talking about their daughter and how they are angry with them. The therapist might ask, "so you are pretty upset with your daughter for [blank]". The client will most likely say something like, "yes, I am." This example shows how one might elicit a comment from a client. On the other hand, the therapist may state, "tell me more about that." In this way, the therapist is asking for more information about the reasons why this individual is so angry at their daughter and asking for a deeper meaning than, "because she won't listen to me".
Ivey, Ivey, & Zalaquett (2010) suggest that when you use eliciting or reflection you are using whichever one is appropriate for the specific situation you are in (p. 324). When I would ask a client about the fact that she is upset with her daughter, I would want the client to comment on the purpose of their being angry and what they did to show it.
Ivey et al. (2010) also content that reflection is more a skill that will help the individual reflect their feeling. Some of the keywords they may use might be "meaning," "deeper understanding" or "vision" may be present from the client either consciously or unconsciously (p. 324). A therapist needs to understand the meaning of these two skills so that they know when to use each one appropriately.
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