The Issue of Marriage and Parenting - Essay Example

Quiz Identify three distinct images of the family. 'Marriage' is the provision which permits the union and co-operation of two individuals, to live together and procreate, sharing the economic and social responsibilities involved; recognizing - the changed rights "in persons and property which is socially, legally and perhaps divinely sanctioned" (Simpson, 1998: 152). This becomes the fundamental constituent of "Shared Residence", and "Parenting" offspring born out of the union of these two individuals. The three aspects viz. Marriage, Shared-dwelling, and Parenting, establish the identities gender, status, legitimacy etc. Thus, here the family is seen "as a place of intimacy, love, and trust where the individuals may escape the competition of the humanizing forces in modern society" (Zinn & Eitzen, 1999: 8), making them salient 'paradigms', images on which cultures around the world are compared. The adherence to this age-old concept of 'family' and the constructs of family-connected-living is found to be mutually fulfilling and beneficial, bringing about care and dependency, and predictability of roles and responsibilities. Thus, the family can also be seen as providing fulfillment, and a place of compensation and protection (Zinn & Eitzen, 1999: 2). But, the traditional family-construct solicited long term commitment and fidelity of both the individuals involved. This was opposite to the fulfillment of self-satisfaction gained in those pursuits, which were the main goals of the value-system present in the society. Here, family and the commitment it envisages, is viewed as a struggle, or as an encumbrance. This gives it a negative image. Under this perception, family-based kinship-relationships are the limiting factors of the individual's quest of fulfillment of aspirations. Thus, in this view, family is a bondage that inhibits full human potential. Distinguish between sex and gender. The relationship between romantic love and sex is effectively explained through biology - which views both as the basis of human behavior. Studies have shown the Man is evolution's tool, not its master (Kelman, 1998, pp.3-24). But, the distinctions of gender, and a more primitive form of romantic love, which signifies some sense of sex or sexuality, is found in most animals too. Gender is understood as the physical evolutionary organs male and female, bestowed by nature, for the 'continuum of the genetic species'. The gender classification inherently denotes the tasks and responsibilities to be performed by either like, females reproduce, prepare food; males hunt etc. Sexuality is explained as the heightened awareness with the aim of procreation, of the "physical evolutionary change related to the sexual act itself" (Kelman, 1998, pp.3-24). Hence, gender is the stereo-type role play determined by the basic sex viz. male or female of the species. For example, animals especially other apes, "enjoy sex only when the females are in their most fertile phase, their estrus" and "would quickly lose interest" (Kelman, 1998, pp.3-24), once it is over, to carry on their social role play such as child-rearing and grooming. This is true for other species as birds and insects too; their mating instincts making them acutely aware of their differences, "birds dance and sing in courtship". Thus sex seems to be a "kind of universal social lubricant" in a complex social world, with the secretion of sex-hormones dictating their behavior. For human beings, though much of the primitive sexual instincts have been retained, they are not exclusively driven by their hormones alone. The effect of culture and the presence of emotional attachment that binds them in relationships cannot be ignored. Thus, they "are bound together by more complicated bonds than an enhanced sexual relationship" and because of the other emotions involved, for human beings "sex is very rarely simply sex" (Kelman, 1998, pp.3-24). Compare and contrast two cultural systems of marriage. "Marriage is about as close as humans come to a universal cultural value" (Kelman, 1998:p15-52) it changes the status for an individual entering it, thereby opening up an entirely new set of social relations for the involved two. Though, marriage intricately involves love and sex, the two are viewed purely private matters, while marriage is definitely a public one. Gender imbalances, inequalities, sometimes point to unusual trends in the studies of marriage cultures. Kelman observes, in the Khasi tribe - a matrilineal society of northeastern India, where the family name and property, is bequeathed to the daughter, by the mother. The daughters are the guardians of the family's property and posterity and are educated, rather than the sons. Not surprisingly, in marriage too, the woman commands. While, her husband changes his dwelling to live with her family, his position in the family is reduced to merely that of a mate, necessary for breeding. In older times, war ensured that the Khasi men had respectable means of income and a powerful status in the society; it was also the reason for the enhanced status of women who had to manage their affairs where the men were away, for most of the time. (Kelman, 1998:p15-52) In contrast is the study of the abduction and suppression of the Sabine women, forcefully brought under control by the Romans. It is held that these women belonged to earlier tribes, wherein women were highly emancipated and had control over their "sexual and reproductive lives". Thus, herein the laws were designed more typically following the normal trend, which is biased towards men. Here, Roman marriage laws forbade a woman to drink wine, or depart from her husband's house without permission, or kill their offspring exclusively on her own initiative. While the former is comparatively rare, of marriage changing the life of the man, the latter is more of common practice wherein the woman's life and status is changed by marriage, wherein women were subjugated and treated more like personal property. (Kelman, 1998:p15-52) List of works cited Zinn, Maxine B., D. S. Eitzen, and Steven J. Gold. (1999). "Integrating Professional Socialization and Training for Sociology Graduate Students". The American Sociologist. Kelman, Suanne. (2004). "All in the family - A cultural history of family life". 1998. Reprinted by Athabasca University. Simpson, Bob. (1998). "Changing Families: An Ethnographic Approach to Divorce and Separation". Reprinted by Athabasca University 2004. (pp. 152-163) Quiz # 2 Discuss the dramatic impact children have on marriage. The status of parenthood is conferred biologically, and has been the key to cultural explanations of reproduction. The children being a combination of both the biological parents, they significantly become the 'nodal points of network', and serve as a powerful reminder of 'the memory of shared experience'. Parenthood therefore, becomes a construct and pass-on oneself as a person through the process of creating other persons. Thereby, there are enormous possibilities for grooming and leaving one's imprint behind. Thus, the process of parenting is not one of mere service, but an important way of life. Furthermore, 'family' is imperative "for the construction of gender, identity and personhood and role-type theories" (Simpson, 1998:p. 65) and other complex processes. Marriage is the institution through which the state of parenthood becomes legitimate. "Parents bring up their children; but in crucial ways, children also bring up their parents" (Simpson, 1998:p. 64). While the 'married' status of the parents "provide their children with a coherent and complementary package of parenting comprised of love, support, guidance, discipline, affection and the like, the picture changes fundamentally following divorce" (Simpson, p.67), the marital separation of the parents, has a complex impact in the above process. The children then become the focal point of two separate parent-projectors rather than a single combined one. The children's 'taking up' after the parents, hold connotations that are positively viewed within the unbroken family, but take on a negative and undesirable tinge when the parents are separated. Often in unhappy marriages, the tension between the spouses, make them childish in their refusal to see the validity of the other side. In such cases, the children, in a reversal of role-play, with profound understanding and broader vision, are forced to become, mature and reasoning adults. Describe some possible consequences of divorce for women and for men. The western society and culture, bases the institutions of marriage and parenthood on the assumption that each adult is a unique and equally contributing individual to the family. Although the marriage may not have been successful, "parenthood is for a life-time, and, remains as the basis for ongoing communication and contestation" (Simpson, 1998: p. 81-82) between the members of the previous 'family'. Individuals are affected by divorce in various degrees. In divorce, the individuals compare the sources of their own difficulties and dissatisfactions with reference to the apparent benefits retained by the other. This "operation of this deficit" becomes very important in shaping the interactions after divorce (Simpson, 1998: 81- 92). While, women may become impoverished as a result of divorce (Weitzman, 1985) they seem to somehow ensure the continuum in their maternal responsibilities, household and social relations (Riessman, 1990). In many cases, despite the additional financial burdens, women, take on the role of playing 'father and mother', to compensate children's perceived loss of the father and make up for the single-parent status. Women are particularly affected in: money-management, loneliness & personal sense of failure, employment, physical health etc. Men on the other hand though not adversely affected financially, do face many problems in tackling day-to-day routine aspects of life. Their dependency on women, for emotional and psychological well-being, and sustaining the social networking is acutely felt in case of a divorce. In the relationship with children, they significantly exclude their roles, as the opposed balancing factor to the influence of the 'mother' (Simpson, 1998: 92-93). Divorced men, exhibit stress-health problems, and are displayed typically by drinking, smoking and over-working; they frequently remarry soon after a divorce. Thus, for both, divorce portends huge efforts to re-construct and sustain the overlapping and conflicting social networks, boundaries and identities. Identify global trends that change the structure of the family. With science and technology increasing longevity and health of populations in general, people have redefined the concept of 'family' with freedom, giving new interpretations and norms to social relationships. Increasingly, world over individuals make conscious choices of 1) Marriage issues - whether to marry or not; have same sex or opposite sex partners 2) Children and Parenthood issues - the timing, number, and artificial insemination, Single Parenthood etc. 3) Financial issues - with more choice to work options for women. These have resulted in changing of 'value' systems, which may "reflect the need to make continuing family commitments consistent with other socio-cultural changes" (Creed, 2000: 334). Firstly, marriage issues: Increasingly people shy away from the responsibilities of marriage and parenting. This is reflected in the drop in number of recorded marriages, especially in the liberal western societies. Another new trend is that the traditional 'family' structure has changed with re-defined focus on sexuality. Gay and Lesbian families are increasing in numbers and are forging new constructs of parenting. Secondly, the improvements in scientific techniques have almost made children a made-to-order toy. The choice of the color, sex, and race of the child-to-be-born can now be selected with the help of 'Sperm Banks' and 'In-Vitro Fertilization' making redundant the role of traditional 'sex' in procreation. Thus, even gay couples or lesbian couples can now claim parenthood, based on both the kinship and relationship functions. Thirdly, the global economic transformations have shifted the inequalities against men, causing an increase in 'Single-parent, Woman-headed' families. More are women are taking up jobs and are becoming economically independent. Even within the constructs of traditional 'families', the role of the woman - "she portrays herself as potentially self-sufficient" (Simpson, 1998: 106), is no longer subservient to that of the man of the house, changing equations. List of References Creed, W.Gerald.. (2000). "Family values" and domestic economies. In American Review of Anthropology 29: 329-355. Riessman, C. K. (1990). "Divorce talk: Women and men make sense of personal relationships". New Brunswick, NJ: Rutgers University Press. Simpson, Bob. (1998). "Changing Families: An Ethnographic Approach to Divorce and Separation". Reprinted by Athabasca University 2004. Weitzman, J. Lenore. (1985). "The Divorce Revolution: The Unexpected Social and Economic Consequences for Women and Children in America". New York:. The Free Press. Read More