STORY Response..2 - Assignment Example

Story Response Hi, Andrew- The story is captivating and has a nice slow development that creates suspense thereby provoking curiosity to want to read more. The story starts a far distance and finally brings the reader home having painted a clear mental picture of the geography of the place and the time at which the story takes place. For example at the beginning where a crisp desert breeze laces with the last warmth of dusk passing over Jed’s face as the sun slips over the horizon shows it in a desert and it is in the evening.

The level of detail in describing the characters is commendable since it gave a sense of the character’s personality. For instance, Jed resented brushing his footprints from the campsite since it made him feel dishonest. Also in the part where Oscar feels he could hide Javi under him if someone started to shoot brings out Oscar’s character as protective and responsible. However, the transition from one paragraph to another is not quite smooth and I found myself getting lost at the beginning of the story.

The change of characters at each paragraph at first left questions of what had happened the previous character and made the story seem separate thereby disrupting the flow of the story. Maybe you could also have given a bit of background story to let the reader know how the characters had ended up in the desert.I would kindly like to give a few suggestions for your consideration. Maybe you can try to use transitioning words while introducing new characters in new paragraphs. For instance, when you were introducing Oscar and Javi you could say ‘on the other side of the desert Oscar crouched on his hams…’ as this would make a good transition making sure the story does not seem separate.

You could also give the story a title. The ending was excellent as it left some parts for the reader to fill in.