Analysis of Mes Mauvaises Penses - Essay Example

Analysis of Mes Mauvaises Pensées Introduction “Mes Mauvaises Pensées” by Nina Bouraoui is a thesis that evolves from myriad emotions and plethora of perspectives. The book is a good food for thought and decked up with numerous materials to delve deep. “Mes Mauvaises Pensées” is a confessional exploration of an inner state of a Muslim woman that comprises of her fear, desire and impulses. The book also bears a strong document of diaspora. A sense of rootlessness pervades the book. The book takes a form of a discussion with her analyst and states about her fascination for her father’s country. A country which seemed so familiar to Nina, who encompassed violence and sensuality within its boundary and yet continued appealing her, forms the crux of the book. Nina expressed her feeling of vacuum away from Algeria, with the country she was so much acquainted and expresses her experience of growing up in the country. The book is a journey of a woman, her plights, failures in life and relationships and ultimate self-discovery. The testimony is very close to author’s heart and unravels her relation with her French mother, her family and relations with her female lovers. Theme of identity, exile and diaspora forms the centre discourse of the book and this evolves from Nina’s mixed – race origins. The book puts forward a unique mystery of a woman’s life and personality with a very strong theme of identity and quest for self - discovery that is interwoven within the periphery of the text. Nina speaks her own work as, “Writing is the earth, its Algeria regained, and it’s the state of wilderness too: all of my love weighs upon the hand I write with; I write what I ought to have lived.  I cover the departed land.” This statement confirms the thesis put forwarded by Nina Bouraoui (The French Publisher’s Agency, n.d.). Connection between Exile, Identity and Language in Mes Mauvaises Pensees Exile and identity or to be more precise, identity crisis happens to be the dominant theme of “Mes Mauvaises Pensees”. Bouraoui crossed the border which rendered her an ability to launch her problems of experience which is why in her texts; both autobiographical and private plays exercise a consistent part on behalf of traditional aesthetic is dominant. “Mes Mauvaises Pensees” displays close and intimate stories from day – to – day life that indicates and creates a complex relation of space and interprets it. Bouraoui wrote exactly what she wanted to read. At the same time, it should be noticed that the themes that are dominant in the text by Nina did not at all existed before she presented it. Bouraoui’s expression completes the contention as she says, “I’m inspired by my experience of life” (Isaken, n.d.). The major objective of this paper is to learn and explore the connection between exile, identity and language as per the concepts of Nina Bouraoui. While discovering this facet, the concept of objectification will come to the surface which is an integral part of “Mes Mauvaises Pensees”. This text wishes to explore the evolution of a “reflexive literary style” that enables a writer to create a space that is existent for identities and deviates from conventional norms, which by the myriad representation appears to be mostly “rich, white, heterosexual, successful and beautiful”. About the quest for the identity and the identity crisis, Bouraoui contends, “And my everlasting silence. Because my voice is nothing. It disappears like the wind. Obviously that one didn’t answer. I will find better. I will write it. That’s better, the hate towards the other written and revealed in a book. I will write. And someone will recognize themselves” (Bouraoui, 2000). The crisis that she felt with respect to her identity can be further envisaged her writing as she wrote, “I have come to see you because I have bad thoughts. My soul is consuming itself; I am besieged” (Bouraoui, 2005). Bouraoui explore the themes of identity and sexuality that defy symbolic border and language and become a strong mode of dominant device to express the theme. Bouraoui expresses that she reverts her life backward through her writing. She expresses, “I started to write about myself, to find me a place in this world” (Dzlit, n.d.) and continues to carry forward the legacy in her next creation. She further says, “Writing is my real country, the only one where I really live, the only earth I master” (Lexpress, n.d.). This statement strongly represents Nina’s quest for identity and her sense of diaspora or rootlessness which she expresses through her language and writing. In her last book, she narrates, “Writing has changed me, I believe, I’m no longer the same”. Nina Bouraoui’s books portray some consistent themes of death, exile, quest for identity and sexual ambiguity. These themes appeared in her texts time and again. Problem of space and exile forms very close knitted part of “Mes Mauvaises Pensées”. In order to express the displacement of women and a presence that is marked by some unknown feeling of rejection in Islamic society, Nina creates Fikira, who witnesses the same kind of gender separation and a foreboding anonymity that Nina herself faced in the Islamic society. Despite of all these prevalent tension and violence, her own land Algeria seems to be a consistent inspiration behind the novel “Mes Mauvaises Pensees”. The characters in her novel identify with the subdued and socially isolated internal life. Her description and explanation that she is a clandestine, who is separated from the city which is forbidden for her access, is quite representative of the theme of exile (from Algeria) as she writes, “I think I am proud to be my father's son, and his extension because we have the same mind, the same humour, the same fragility faced with the fascinating gentleness of women. I have often thought that my writing came from my mother. I now know that the writing comes from him, he who wrote so much in Algiers” (Bouraoui, 2005). The manifestation of the theme occurs with the language, as “I” is the autobiographical element in her novel. Bouraoui clearly mentions in her novel about the gaze of men during her early life in Algeria on her and most importantly, on her body. Marked by a felling of ostracization and loneliness, Nina experiences a life that was completely segregated and different due to a mixed race origin of Franco - Algerian culture and also mainly because of her gender. Sidonie Smith and Julia Watson in their revolutionary document, “Reading Autobiography: A Guide for Interpreting Life Narratives”, makes it clear that “Getting a life means getting a narrative, and vice versa”. The statement is true indeed and is more operative within the text “Mes Mauvaises Pensées”. Sidonie Smith and Julia Watson put forward in their thesis that autobiography is not a mere representation of individual life. It bears the fact and the figures, age and society in which that individual lived. Therefore, a proper guideline has to be adhered while writing autobiographies so that the distortion of truth never takes place. To be very honest, Nina Bouraoui is quite true to her own conscience in selection of language to represent the facts of her life. Though majority of her texts are criticised from a feminist perspective, yet her confessions are true to the extent that it can be penned down and she bears in her testimony many such socio-cultural issues that are very relevant and needs to be addressed in the contemporary perspective (Smith & Watson, 2003). Bouraoui consistently search for a form that can expose a shared feeling of experience. In quest for an authentic expression, the degree of autobiography extends its authorships to a paroxysm in the publication. In “Mes Mauvaises Pensées”, Bouraoui wanted to draw attention to a collective history through a process of expressing individual history. In terms of both form and content, the text attempts to reflect a multi - layered relationship between the literature and the realty. This relationship is established in “Mes Mauvaises Pensées” through precise selection of language and its representation. The language here also reveals the importance of the distance between the experiences that are described and the publication of the texts that are trying to describe them. The way, Bouraoui’s work describes and explores the identity and sexuality, defying the border as both temporal and permanent; it is always easy to club her text as “political projects”. Bouraoui’s thought process is a manifestation of myriad socio - ethnic and socio - cultural issues. “Mes Mauvaises Pensees” also encompasses all these issues within it. Lidia Curti in her feminist criticism named “Female Stories, Female Bodies: Narrative, Identity and Representation” explores women’s narratives from a perspective that is very different from the ordinary criticism. The narratives are viewed from an angle which is thoroughly feminist in nature and blends the combination of two the theories namely the Female stories and the Female bodies. Cultural critic, Curti takes us in a voyage to reveal myriad consistent themes of the narratives and bring out that the male and the female gaze, paranoia, melancholia and desire are the integral part of any feminist text. Male and female gaze is also exposed in the “Mes Mauvaises Pensees” and Nina brilliantly speaks about the difference of gazes that she and her body experienced along with an exaltation of a very relevant issue of paranoia that a women faces in a gender biased as well as many cultural and ethnic societies (Curti, 1998). The sexual identity is also very prominent within the writing of the Nina Bouraoui. It is very clear from her lines that he never suffered from any complex because of her gender though the world presented certain complication in front of her for the same. The critics suggest that also there is a lot of ambiguity in the text of Nina regarding the sexual identity which does not hold well. Also, she narrated the case of Fikira that provides a deep insight about the status of the women in the Muslim society. Therefore, it could be said that the theme of sexual identity was well represented in the text of Nina Bouraoui. The connection between exile, identity and language in Nina Bouraoui’s “Mes Mauvises Pensees” is critical. But the connecting link between these three individual themes evolves from a platform that is exclusively Diasporas in nature. The quest for identity or search for roots and expressing that through cognitive element is in itself a great link between language and identity. The theme of exile in “Mes Mauvises Peenses” comes out form a very personal experience. This experience evolves from a conservative Islamic society to which Nina belonged and also to her Algerian root. Yet, in order to connect this theme of exile with language and expressing the basic point that from the sense of exile emerges quest for self - identity, was tough. But the establishment of these connections was not beyond comprehension and Bouraoui achieved those successfully. Conclusion “Mes Mauvaises Pensees” by Nina Bouraoui is a brilliant document that takes its readers into a ride through numerous cultural interpretations. It is a trajectory of a women’s quest to self - discovery. At the same time, it is a document bearing the perspectives of a collective identity which often merges and faces paranoia that is quite familiar in a chauvinist society. Interrogation of genre and gender along with the blend of the colorful themes reach the novel into a realm that is quite beyond the appreciation of conventional mind. But a closer introspection to the thought lying beneath the text will obviously speak about a mind which is quite familiar and identical. “Mes Mauvaises Pensees” can be a testimony of a universal woman, celebrating her womanhood and happy to find her existence. At the same time, it also speaks about some collective fear and paranoia that are very common and relative. “Mes Mauvaises Pensees” is a text which is a blend of contemporary and universal issues. References Bouraoui, N. Mes Mauvaises Pensées. Stock, 2005. Bouraoui, N. Garçon manqué. Stock, 2000. Curti, Lidia. Female Stories Female Bodies: Narrative, Identity and Representation. MacMillan, 1998. Dzlit, No Date. Bouraoui. Pages Perso. [Online] Available at: http://dzlit.free.fr/bouraoui.html [Accessed April 03, 2010]. The French Publisher’s Agency, No Date. Description. Mes Mauvaises Pensees. [Online] Available at: http://www.frenchpubagency.com/Title-199521-Fiction-Literature/Mes-mauvaises-pensees.html [Accessed April 03, 2010]. Isaken, H., No Date. Influencing transformation of social structures by mediating dominated voices: the cases of Annie Ernaux and Nina Bouraoui. University of Tromso. [Online] Available at: http://uit.no/getfile.php?PageId=8315&FileId=50 [Accessed April 03, 2010]. Lespress, No Date. Mes Mauvaises Pensées. Livres. [Online] Available at: http://www.lexpress.fr/culture/livre/ [Accessed April 03, 2010]. Smith, S. & Watson, J. Interfaces: Women, Autobiography, Image, Performance. University of Michigan, 2003. Read More