Same sex parenting issues - Research Paper Example

?Same-sex parenting issues: In the present modern world full of unconventional notions which were once unheard of, the American family has in response changed a lot and the concept of nuclear family is no longer as prevalent as it once was. Papers and TV talk shows are rampantly seen talking about same-sex parenting issues every other day and earlier this year, same-sex marriage has been openly legalized in more than nine US states as a staggering number of state voters approved and stressed on this step. Amidst protests by conservatives and gay marriage marches, one thing is settled though that the family structures in America have unequivocally changed a lot and this change is followed by a huge string of same sex parenting issues. It is implied by conservatives that there is a huge assortment of various risks associated with same-sex parenting which inflicts a direct influence on the children also. With such a collection of studies reporting problematic same-sex parenting issues, it has become increasingly hard for gay couples to raise children in a safe and healthy environment. This research paper is primarily based on contemplating the grounds of several such major issues faced by same-sex couples in reference to parenting. Relevant literature will be reviewed in order to find out what the scholars have to say on the notorious challenges encountered by same-sex parents and why. Research suggests that a large percentage of issues that the gay and lesbian-parented families face are generally a function of two main factors; the first is the variety of family constellations comprised by them and the second is them being part of a society that does not consider such rich variety either necessary or valuable. It is a reality that even in the present times, there is a considerable population of such people who prefer to stick to old styles than developing a welcoming approach towards new unconventional ideas. This situation fosters tension in the society that causes unique needs of the same sex families to arise in several domains that include but are not limited to the educational system, the legal system, religious organizations, profession of mental health, the insurance industry, and the medical profession. There is a great difference between the family constellations among families parented by same-sex couples and those parented by heterosexual couples (Martin, 1998). Though same-sex parenting should be absolutely credited and respected, it also stands true that parenting in a nuclear family differs hugely from that in an unconventional lesbian or gay family. Parents in a gay family have to struggle a lot in myriad ways to keep the developmental process of their children intact and healthy in response to external pressures and legal difficulties. Tragedy is that nearly all child development and related discussions presented by scholars are nuclear family oriented as a result of which any other constellations not based on the conventional Mom-and-Dad family model are perceived as flawed, inconsistent, and incredible when it comes to raise children. One of the biggest issues is related to the lack of legal recognition awarded to same-sex couples (Raising Children Network, 2013) which affects the upbringing of children in such families in that they remain unsure of their roots and reality. The thing that lesbian and gay parents are not trusted with their parenting by the society gives birth to grave obstacles of multiple kinds. Same-sex family is not considered an optimal structure for child development and all associated constellations are thought to be fraught with deficiencies which could negatively influence a child’s development. Parent-child relationship in gay or lesbian families is sadly not adequately protected or even recognized by law (Martin, 1998). The ability of gay and lesbian parents to address the emotional, psychological, and social needs of children in comparison to heterosexual parents has also been widely debated both by entertainment media and research literature. Nearly all results or a dominating percentage refutes all claims held by conservatives that gay or lesbian parents are in any way less capable than heterosexual parents to effectively raise children and meet all their important needs as they grow. Children raised by same-sex couples are totally indistinguishable from those raised in Mom-and-Dad nuclear families (Martin, 1998). “Not a single study has found children of lesbian or gay parents to be disadvantaged in any significant respect relative to children of heterosexual parents” (APA, cited in Wetzstein, 2012). This emphasizes that discarding the orthodox Mom-and-Dad nuclear model on which an ample amount of research is based is the need of the time because society as a whole should take steps to make space for new family ideologies and patterns which may set in contrast with the centuries old conventional beliefs but which prove to be beneficial and friendly for the children nevertheless. Modern research proves that the development of children should not be evaluated or examined on grounds of family constellation but on grounds of quality of care. Both in the beginning and eventually, it is actually the quality or nature of care, and not family constellation, provided by the parents to their children which is potential of deciding how safe they would be as children and who they are going to be as adults. Quality of care is a principal determinant of children’ development and this feature is heavily recognized by modern research based on children raised by lesbian and gay parents. The fact that gay and lesbian-parented families may consist of more than two parents at a time (Martin, 1998) is frequently used as a justification by the opponents of same-sex marriage and parenting to illuminate the associated risks. It is implied on these grounds that children are brought by three or even four parents in the most unconventional families on the brink of exceeding mental distortion and confusions. Such children may even feel suffocated or crowded by three or four parents at a time. However, modern research suggests that it is not at all the gay or lesbian parents themselves, but the combined unsupportive role played by the society and the state which creates real danger for children’s development and upbringing (Raising Children Network, 2013). Gay or lesbian parents are anything but incapable when it comes to raise children but the nature of role played by the state, especially the deep rooted inadequacy of legal recognition for a nonbiological parent which originates from discrimination or “prejudice either on a personal level or an institutional level” (Raising Children Network, 2013), creates much problem and negatively interferes with the children’s upbringing process. It is reported that many same-sex couples are presently parenting a child and “most report that the biggest problem they have is discrimination, either against them or their children” (Raising Children Network, 2013). In many lesbian and gay-parented families, one parents often happens to be the biological parent of a child and the other nonbiological and the obvious lack of legal support for the latter parent in many US states works to stir up major emotional turmoil for him/her. This is because the nonbiological gay or lesbian parent constantly remains in a state of danger and uncertainty that what would become of him/her in case the biological parent dies. Will the children in which he/she invested so much time and heart be taken away once the legal parents dies or otherwise? Such concerns are a source of enormous anxiety for same-sex couples. Then, the issue of separation or divorce is always there for the same-sex couples as much as for heterosexual couples. But, the legal arrangements made for children parented by heterosexual parents post-separation are very different from those made for children parented by same-sex couples. “Their lack of legal recognition as a family creates real danger that the custody and access arrangements that are made will not be in the child's best interests” (Martin, 1998). The biological mother in a fit of rage and resentment may deny the rights of the nonbiological mother over her child and lack of legal support for the latter parent significantly exacerbates the legal complexities. Concluding, this much remains clear from the above discussion that parenting in a same-sex relationship is no easy job and certainly a world apart from conventional styles practiced since ages. Truth is that with proper guidance and quality care, children can be trained to get as much benefit as possible from the presence of same-sex parents. There is always more chance to learn from responsible and loving parenting figures regardless of the number and gender. It is frequently suggested by research that instead of parents’ gender, children are always much more likely to be affected by the nature of care delivered by the parents. Also, they are not in the least confused about their roots or reality if their gay or lesbian parents make efforts to make it clear to them who their biological parents are who brought them in this world. One strategy to combat against all the heavy social or legal pressures encountered by gay or lesbian-parented families is related to being open and honest with the children as this can effectively help in reducing the incidence of psychological imbalance among children raised in gay or lesbian-parented families. References: Martin, A. (1998). Issues for Lesbian- and Gay-Parented Families. Retrieved from http://parenthood.library.wisc.edu/Martin/Martin.html Raising Children Network. (2013). Parenting in a same-sex relationship. Retrieved from http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/parenting_in_a_same-sex_relationship.html/context/1000 Wetzstein, C. (2012, Jun 10). Study suggests risks from same-sex parenting. The Washington Times. Retrieved from http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2012/jun/10/study-suggests-risks-from-same-sex-parenting/?page=all Read More