Contemporary Parenting in Europe - Essay Example

Critically explore the nature of Contemporary Parenting in Europe. What problems do parents face and how might some of these be resolved. Firstly, let us explore the definition of Contemporary Parenting. It means dynamic parenting to suit our present sociological structures. Sociologists realise that contemporary parenting has changed its roles in the family, household and society ( Allan & Crow, 2000). Some of the problems are changes in mothering and fathering roles in the conventional heterosexual parenting, dual income household running, childcare, gay and lesbian parenting, divorce and remarriage, stepfamilies, pornography and sex related problems, alcohol, drugs and substance abuse, abortion, judicial leniency, abuse, individual family parenting policies and last but not least, the state's sociological assistance available for families. Although there are so many divergences from the conventional nuclear family, contemporary trends in European societies show that families converge towards diversity (Bernardes, 1997). With feminism and the emergence of women as a formidable work force in Europe, many families have two working parents. With financial independence, some women witness the end of dependency on marriages. The father of the heterosexual parent couple feels his loss of masculinity as the working wife liberates herself from the former slavery to her role as a housewife. The celebration of the division of labour has soured as liberated mothers seek breakage from bondage to unhappy marriages with divorce (Crow, 2005). Why do we want know about the problems in contemporary parenting in Europe Mentors and agencies can focus their attention and care on the factors and intervene to help if required . In the U.K., which is a part of Europe, children lack education in family studies and many parents still practise the orthodox model of old codes to preach parenting instead of analysing the contemporary issues and working out a satisfactory solution for parents and children . His approach towards this problem is integrate family studies into U.K.'s school curriculum. Educating children in family studies is one way to empower them to help themselves (Bernardes, 1997). Studies suggest that the nuclear family unit is essential for the good development of children and thus society. The contempoarary trends in modern European society show the increase in numbers of single parenting. Consequently, the areas of concern were also studied. Bernardes has used his findings about the negative consequences of single parenting to highlight that children from solo parenting families face problems in school performance, behavior, psychological development and social interactions. After the awareness of these problems, what steps can be taken to deal with them The state can and does provide certain welfare assistance to aid families. In contemporary parenting, fathers become more than breadwinners. This is the generation of the "new man". His role is a proactive and involved one. He gets involved to connect to his offspring. If this is the good from the modernization of fatherhood, why then are there still problems for contemporary parents Gender relations have changed and said to be modernized out of necessity. Working mothers, the pressure and stress of modern urban living are some of the factors that have brought about this modernization. Studies advocate the use of dynamic, interdependent family policies to help the children as well as the parents (Kaufmann, 2002). Children naturally crave attention and welcome this modernization of fatherhood. As fathers are encouraged by this positive response, they cement bonds with their children. Children benefit from the good father figure. On the flip side, they may suffer when the father is less than a good role model (Bjornberg, 1992). As for divorced and nonresident fathers, they are also encouraged to be involved with their children. Courts often award divorced parents joint custody of children as judges recognise the child's continual need of the father figure. Of course, the new role is a diminished one with less fatherly interaction. Mothers and fathers have different parenting styles. A child benefits from this as the two styles from different gender complement each other. The biological aspects of each gender provide care that nurtures the child. Although the conjugal family was defended as the model of social stability in child-rearing, the legal rights of unmarried, cohabiting same-sex couples were also recognised (Hantrais, 2004). The European countries of Scandinavia, France, Netherlands, Germany have allowed the registration of same-sex partnerships and recognised their rights to parenting, adoption and raising a family. Gay and lesbian couples are increasing in numbers and this trend of same-sex co-parenting is here to stay. (Scott, Treas & Richards, 2003). There have been individuals who have experienced heterosexual relationships as well as homosexual ones and they later choose to cohabit with same sex partners. For example, a woman who had been married before for fourteen years and given birth to two children, decided to divorce her husband and live with her lesbian lover. They share co-parenting duties. The media loves controvesy. With the recent highlight on same-sex relationships, many gays and lesbians are given opportunities to work in the high profile entertainment industry. Children who are easily influenced will perceive same-sex relationships as being glamorous and might imitate their choice of role models. This relates to the same arguement that critics have referred to. These opponents say that studies show a tendency for children from same-sex families to copy their parents and orientate towards same-sex couplehood later in life. However, one can argue that there are benefits with legislature to recognise the rights of gays, lesbians and same-sex parenting. The laws accord status and rights to this group of people and offer them some supporting resources. Dr. Wilfried Dumon had researched and developed a special sociological model called The Leuven Triangle. He named it after Leuven because he picked up from where Leuven left off in his sociology research in the 1960s. The three points of this triangle are sociology theory, methodology and social policy. He used the Leuven's Triangle to put together the infrastructures of administration, logistics, academic and everything else necessary to preach, practise and implement family sciences to help families. He showed that his Leuven Triangle worked to solve problems in contemporary parenting. Belgium benefited from his policies in many sociological associations he headed during his illustrious career (Matthijs & Van Den Troost, 1998). Bernardes advocated prioritizing the family unit as the basis to prevention of bigger problems in society as families constitute society and contribute favourably or to the detriment of society. He said that variation and diversity are now common features in families especially in Europe and the United States. (Bernardes, 1997) The solutions and helping hands come from institutions like academic, law and the labour market. Families can do well to work together create a conducive environment to nurture the child. One practical example is the use of flexi-hours and telecommuting. Working mothers who have the option of flexible work schedules can better take care of her household. Telecommuting allows work to be done from home. The marriage of labour with parenting has many advantages. Bernardes' work (Bernardes, 1997) has also discussed abuse within the family. Children suffer mental, emotional and social abuse when there is domestic violence or neglect. When one parent faces domestic violence, seeking law enforcement maybe a resort for the family members. There are also laws to protect children from child abuse. However, some parents object to interference in their individual family policies as regards to disciplining their children. These parents say that corporeal punishment is not abuse. Often, the skeleton is only brought out of the closet when there are severe or fatal injuries. We read about cases of assault, neglect, and all manner of abuse in the newspapers. Is the use of force necessary in disciplining the child When negative reinforcement is applied, there are risks of resistance, rebellion, or worse, the child runs away from home. When there is a confrontation, the basic reactions of human psychological behavior is to fight or take flight. The better approach might be to win over the child by persuasion. As a matter of fact, successful leaders use strong persuasive tactics to win over the majority. Anyone who has read Dale Carnegie, the famous self-help book author, will appreciate the value of projecting one's image to influence people (Carnegie, 1936) The 1990s was the benchmark milestone of changes in the family policy for many countries in Europe. Ireland (U.K.), Sweden, France and Germany implemented many national family policies to solve the problems of financial stress and care for families. There were changes in the cash benefits for families with children; child benefit, workplace and tax benefit. Special provisions were made for the lone parent. For the working parent, there were provisions for childcare and care of elderly family members. On the overall, the major changes were the enhancements in Children's Rights, more support for working parents and increased state welfare for families. In other words, the state assumes a shared role in contemporary parenting. This is one of the two major changes in the social family policies. (Daly & Clavero, 2002). Some critics of the family policies may argue that a family might become over reliant on external help and remain a burden to the state. As in any offer of help, there will be some who take advantage of the system while others are too proud to ask for help. It is not the government's job to raise the children of its citizens. The social welfare lends a hand to needy families while encouraging them to be responsible parents in their continual care and upbringing of their children. The other major change for some European countries' family policy is the shift towards more children's rights. Ireland calls this their National Children's Strategy. Other European countries have their own special names for this movement. The overall wellbeing and welfare of each child is considered in its own right; rather than using the old method of considering the context of the family and parental obligations. Is this a problem or advantage Initially, it might be an inconvenience to the parent when s/he cannot force the hand of control over his / her own child. If the child's opinion is sought before decision making, s/he child must also bear the responsibilities of the consequences of the choice. This can be helped by consulting private or state agency counselors to assist in making informed choices before decision making (Daly & Clavero, 2002). The trend of increasing numbers of sole parent households puts a strain on the quality of contemporary parenting. Sole parents juggle multiple responsibilities especially in the areas of paid work and simultaneous care of their young and elderly. What are the possible solutions Single working parents are using many of the same resources as dual working parents. Some have the benefit of a live-in parent, that is, grandparent of the child, to help care for the child and household. However, the single parent might also bear the additional financial responsibilities for this elderly parent. Contemporary parenting has the influence of media to contend with. Certain aspects of technology has made it possible for the widespread advertisements of negative influences like alcohol, drugs, smoking and other substance abuse. Children and teens are easily influenced by external communication and they might develop the wrong habits of becoming addicted to substance abuse. One of the biggest problems faced by contemporary parents is alcohol abuse. In Europe, beer flows more freely than water and underage dinking is a problem. In time, alcohol abuse leads to alcoholism and its related dire consequences. There is legislature to prevent the sale of alcohol to minors, as determined by the different age limits as imposed by the different European countries. However, parents need to be vigilant to guard against the indulgence of alcohol when children play cat and mouse and sneakily engage in drinking in whatever ways they could. The stick does not work well with today's children. Instead, this problem might be better handled by counseling dealing with the culture, family and peer influences (Houghton, 2001). For example, I have interviewed by email an elderly European man who was an alcoholic. He started drinking as a youth because he was influenced by his entire family of drinkers. His parents, uncles, nephews, nieces were all social drinkers or heavily dependent on alcohol. Some of these people enrolled themselves in Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.) and have kicked the bottle. When parenting could not help, community social services like the A.A. have successfully assisted people to kick the bottle. Contemporary parenting can do well to seek the qualified institutions to address problematic issues such as illustrated here. Other forms of drug abuse problems in Ireland were helped using family and community support (Canavan, Dolan & Pinkerton, 2000). Sociologists study the diversity in families as not being problems but as suggestions to take new directions in family parenting. In Germany, social work focuses on the family. As revenues of help are opened to families, it would seem that there are more vessels to help hold the old wine of family members. Good contemporary parenting is about effective parenting. Statistics show that crime is rising among youths. Parents and family support can create a buffer that deters the easy downturn towards crime. A stitch in time saves nine. The family is the first to notice abnormal changes in the child and can act quickly to arrest this negative influence. Researchers have found that hardcore juvenile delinquents have requirements that far exceed the level and quality of available resources and that they have less chances of receiving attention to address their perceived conduct disorders. Effective parenting could have made the difference in the early stages of deviant, anti-social behavior (Canavan et al., 2000). Contemporary parenting is very challenging. The evolution of civilisation makes society dynamic. There will always be new situations to deal with. Published research can identify trends and assist people in making informed decisions to aid contempoaray parenting. References. Crow, G., (2005). Sociological Research Online, Volume 10, Issue 3. . Bernardes, J., (1997). Family Studies: An Introduction. Routledge: London. Bernades, J., Prioritising families in the future in the United Kingdom, 1998, In K. Matthijs, The Family: Contemporary Perspectives and Challenges- Festschrift in Honour of Wilfried Dumon, Leuven University Press: Leuven, Belgium, pp 137- 157. Matthijs K., Van Den Troost A., (1998). The Family: Contemporary Perspectives And Challenges. Festschrift In Honour Of Wilfried Dumon. Sociologie Vandaag / Sociology Today , Volume 03. Daly, M., Clavero, S., (2002), Contemporary Family Policy: A Comparative Review of Ireland, France, Germany, Sweden and the U.K. Institute of Public Administration: Ireland. Houghton, E., 2001, Learning About Drinking. Psychology Press: U.K. Canavan, J., Dolan P., Pinkerton, J., (2000). Family Support: Direction from Diversity. Jessica Kingsley Publishers: London. Kaufmann, F., (2002). Family Life and Family Policies in Europe: Volume 2: Problems and Issues in Comparative Perspective. Oxford University Press: U.K. Bjornberg, U., (1992). European Parents in the 1990s: Contradictions and Comparisons. Transaction Publishers. Scott, J., Treas, J., Richards, M., (2003). The Blackwell Companion to the Sociology of Families. Blackwell Publishing. Hantrais, L., (2004). Family Policy Matters: responding to family change in Europe. The Policy Press: U.K. Carnegie, D., (1936). How To Win Friends And Influence People. Simon Schuster: New York. Read More