The Conflicting Views on Same-Sex Parenting - Research Paper Example

The Conflicting Views on Same-Sex Parenting It is common knowledge that all people seek happiness -the great emotion that fills one’s being with positive feelings and lead them to a state of well-being. People define happiness in a multitude of ways, depending on their own subjective views. Being so, happiness may be found in the strangest places or situations, even when the majority may think otherwise. Changing family systems have evolved over the years. The basic family structure has been traditionally comprised of a mother, a father and children. This dual-gender parenthood has been established since the beginning of time (Coontz, 2005). Men and women have been assigned different roles to play in the family. Traditionally, as head of the family, a man is expected to work for a living in order to provide for their needs while the woman is to care for the home and children. Over time, family roles evolved. The change in the nature of marriage is due to the employment of women outside the home, the emphasis on equal rights, the rise of suburbia, changing sexual standards, the decreasing importance of extended families, among others (Coontz, 2005). The change in value systems that emerged in families became open to a variety of relationship dynamics. This includes same-sex relationships and marriages that are likely to lead to same-sex parenting. This essay analyzes the situation of children of same-sex parents and their state of happiness and well-being. The Conflicting Views on Same-Sex Parenting Like with other issues of controversy, conflicting factions compete for acceptance of the majority. It seems that if one achieves that, then happiness is likewise achieved, as one does not have to be too defensive about holding on to beliefs others look down on. The literature reveals that most psychological studies are sympathetic to homosexual issues. The American Psychological Association and the Canadian Psychological Association both back up the theory that same-sex parenting is not harmful to children. Renowned studies of Patterson (1992), Wainwright, Russell, and Patterson (2004), Golombok, et al (1983. 2003), Chan, Raboy, and Patterson (1998), Brewaeys and others (1997), among others, support the claim that there are no significant differences between the psychological well-being of children raised by homosexuals and lesbians. On the other hand, studies of Wardle (1997), Cameron & Cameron, 1996; Popenoe (1993, 1996), Blankenhorn (1995), and Whitehead (1993) among others seem to denounce homosexual parenting citing its negative effects that may break a child. Advocates of traditional family values reject the idea of homosexuals raising children, reasoning that it is unnatural and against moral conventions Warlde (1997), Cameron & Cameron, 1996; Popenoe (1993, 1996), Blankenhorn (1995), and Whitehead (1993) . The established roles of a male father and a female mother raising children have been the socially accepted norm (Coontz, 2005). The introduction of two fathers or two mothers raising a child or a set of children in the same family and household has not been entertained until recently. Examination of the relatedness of homosexual families reveals that the children living with gay and lesbian couple are sometimes, the biological offspring of one member of the couple, from an earlier marriage or relationship, from a donor, or adopted (Meezan & Rauch, 2005). This fact makes it much more difficult to study homosexual parenting because of the different structures within each homosexual family that might influence the outcomes. It is best to keep an open mind about each homosexual family case. Like most opponents of homosexual parenting, Wardle (1997) believes that gay parents subject their children to a lot of risks such as confusion over their gender and sexual identities and more likely to become homosexuals themselves. Her position is that homosexual parents are more sexually promiscuous and are more likely to molest their own children. Such sexual promiscuity brings children to a greater risk of losing a homosexual parent to AIDS, substance abuse or suicide and to suffer greater risks of depression and other emotional difficulties. Wardle (1997) has written a position paper based on studies supporting the argument that homosexual parenting brings about negative consequences for the children of the homosexual parent or same-sex couple. She claims that a child raised by two women or two men is deprived of important developmental experiences and opportunities for optimal growth and interpersonal development. The significance of the disadvantage of growing up without a parent of the second gender should not be trivialized since the child needs to cope with the loss of the role-modelling, counsel and experience that living with the missing gender parent would have provided. Also, children generally relate better with the parent of the same sex, but the complete emotional and social development of the child needs the presence of the opposite-gendered parent. Notions of sex roles are formed from their experience with both sexes, and the loss of cross-gender parenting may have severe emotional consequences for the child. One example would be for a daughter to have trouble with men throughout her adult life if she grows up in the absence of a father (Wardle, 1997). Children of homosexual parents are bound to embody a social stigma and suffer embarrassment of having a homosexual parent which puts them at a disadvantage in establishing healthy relationships with their peers. Wardle’s contentions have been very persuasive that judges have cited her article to justify the transfer of child custody from lesbian to heterosexual parents (Stacey & Biblarz, 2001) Patterson (1992) summarizes overall findings of the studies on effects of homosexual parenting on children. Research suggests that the development of gender identity or sexual preference of children of homosexual parents fall within normal bounds and no evidence for significant disturbances of any kind in the sexual identity development were seen. Likewise, concerns about these children’s difficulties in personal development are not sustained by existing research. There is no evidence to suggest that psychosocial development of such children is compromised. Instead, the evidence that exists suggest that home environments provided by homosexual parents are as likely as those provided by their heterosexual counterparts to provide support and enable children’s psychosocial growth. Comparing Homosexual and Heterosexual Parents No less than the American Psychological Association, on its July 2004 "Resolution on Sexual Orientation, Parents, and Children," conclude that there is no scientific basis to believe that lesbian mothers or gay fathers are unfit parents on the basis of their sexual orientation. Stacey & Biblarz (2001) report that nonbiological lesbian co-mothers are more skilled at parenting and are more involved with the children than stepfathers in heterosexual parents. Lesbian partners are more synchronous in parenting than are heterosexual partners. It is believed that the comparative strengths these lesbian co-parents seem to exhibit have more to do with gender than with sexual orientation (Stacey & Biblarz 2001; Brewaeys et al. 1997; Chan et al. 1998; Flaks et al. 1995). Females are stronger in parenting skills, participation in child rearing and sychronicity in child evaluations (Stacey & Biblarz, 2001). Studies show that mothers are more invested and skilled at child care than fathers, and are more likely to engage in child care activities crucial to children’s cognitive, emotional and social development (Furstenberg and Cherlin 1991; Simons and Associates 1996). Research suggests that lesbian and gay parents are as likely as heterosexual parents to rear their children in supportive and healthy environments. Overall, results of research suggest that the development, adjustment and psychological well-being of children of homosexual parents do not differ much from children of heterosexual parents (Meezan and Rauch, 2005). It follows that in terms of happiness, children of both sets of parents (dual-gender and same gender) are most likely to have comparable levels. Legal Adoption for Homosexual Parents The American Academy of Pediatrics (2002) supports homosexual parenting by endorsing legal adoption of children of the co-parent or partner of a homosexual biological or adoptive parent. The academy believes that families and children need the permanence and security provided by two fully sanctioned and legally defined parents. Children are prevented from enjoying the psychological and legal security that comes from having two willing, capable and loving parents if the partner of their legal parent is denied legal parent status through adoption However, Cameron et al. (1996) propose that homosexuality is a "learned pathology" that parents pass on to children through processes of modeling, seduction, and "contagion”. This in itself creates a stigma for children of homosexual parents and affect their chances of adoption. Wardle (1997) also points out the economic security of children of homosexual parents as being unstable. The fact that most states are not yet approved the legality of same-sex marriage puts children of homosexual unions at risk. Marital status has been closely associated with the avoidance of child poverty. Wardle cites William Galston who served as a Domestic Policy Advisor to President Clinton as attesting that a stable, two-parent family is an American child’s best protection against poverty, and this usually happens in the setting of marriage. Wardle (1997) asserts that children make the transition through developmental stages better, have stronger gender identity and are more confident, perform better in school, are more emotionally stable and grow up to be functioning adults best when reared in a dual-parent home. Regarding judicial decision making on child custody of children of homosexual parents, Patterson (1992) details three categories of fears regarding the effects of homosexual parenting on children. The first is that these children will show disturbances in sexual identity. The courts believe that growing up to be homosexuals themselves would be an undesirable effect. Secondly, are the fears that such children will be less psychologically healthy than children growing up in homes with heterosexual parents. These children are believed to be more vulnerable to mental breakdown and/ or are likely to exhibit more adjustment difficulties and behavior problems. Lastly, the courts fears of these children’s difficulties in social relationships. The possibility of being stigmatized, teased or otherwise traumatized by their peers will certainly harm these children. Another persistent fear is that children of homosexual parents may be more likely to be sexually abused by the parent and/or by the parent’s friends or acquaintances. Stacey and Biblarz (2001) argue that a parents’ sexual orientation is not the decisive characteristic of his or her parenting. It is the homophobia and discrimination of society that are the chief reasons why parental sexual orientation matters at all. Because homosexual parents do not enjoy the same rights, respect and recognition as their heterosexual counterparts, their children have to contend with the burdens of social stigma. Effects of Same-Sex Parenting on Children’s Sexual Orientation Sex-role behavior of lesbian and heterosexual mothers' children was assessed by Green and his colleagues (1986). No differences with respect to favorite television programs, favorite television characters or favorite games or toys were found through the interviews with the 56 children of lesbian and 48 children of heterosexual mothers. There was some indication in interviews with children themselves that the offspring of lesbian mothers had less sex-typed preferences for activities at school and in their neighborhoods than did children of heterosexual mothers. Consistent with this result, lesbian mothers were also more likely than heterosexual mothers to report that their daughters often participated in rough and-tumble play or occasionally played with "masculine" toys such as trucks or guns; however, with their sons, they reported no such differences. Lesbian mothers were no more or less likely than heterosexual mothers to report that their children often played with "feminine" toys such as dolls. This result would seem to run counter to expectations based on stereotypes of lesbians as lacking in femininity, both in their own demeanor and in their likely influences on children. Kirkpatrick et al (1981) reported that lesbian mothers were more concerned than heterosexual mothers that their daughters have opportunities for good relationships with adult men. It was likewise indicated that lesbian mothers ensured that adult male family friends and male relatives were often included in their children’s activities. Conclusion Any child raised in a happy, loving home will grow up to be happy and loving as well regardless of his parents’ sexual orientation. However, it is usually the condemning and judgmental society he belongs to which strips him of the happiness he truly deserves. Same-sex parents seem to need to work harder to fill in the gaps to ensure that their children grow up to be emotionally, socially and mentally- stable and happy individuals. As homosexual parents rear their children, they have to impart the message that happiness is a choice they make and regardless of any outside influence. It is still up to the individual to choose to be happy being raised by his “queer” parents….or be forever miserable being a target of society’s ridicule. References American Academy of Pediatrics, “Co-parent or Second Parent Adoption by Same-Sex Parents”, Pediatrics, Vol. 109, Nol. 2, February, 2002. Blankenhorn, D. Fatherless America: Confronting Our Most Urgent Social Problem. 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Kirkpatrick, M., Smith, C., & Roy, R., “Lesbian mothers and their children: A Comparative survey”, American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, Vol. 51, 545- 551, 1981. Meezan, W., Rauch, J. “Gay Marriage, Same-Sex Parenting, and America’s Children”, The Future of Children, Vol. 15, No. 2, Marriage and Child Wellbeing. pp. 97-115. Autumn, 2005. Patterson, C., “Children of lesbian and gay parents”. Child Development. Vol. 63 (5). pp. 1025- 1042. 1992 Patterson, C.J., “Children of Lesbian and Gay Parents”. Child Development, Vol. 63, No. 5., Oct., 1992. Popenoe, D., "American Family Decline, 1960-1990: A Review and Appraisal.", Journal of Marriage and the Family 55:527-41. 1993 Popenoe, D., Life without Father. New York:Free Press. 1996. Stacey, J., & Biblarz, T. J. “(How) Does sexual orientation of parents matter?”, American Sociological Review, 65, 159-183. 2001 Simons, R. L. & Associates. Understanding Differences between Divorced and Intact Families: Stress, Interactions, and Child Outcome. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage. 1996 Wainwright, J.L., Russell, S.T. & Patterson, C.J., "Psychosocial Adjustment, School Outcomes, and Romantic Relationships of Adolescents with Same-Sex Parents." Child Development, Vol. 75. no. 6, December 2004. Wardle, L.D., “The Potential Impact of Homosexual Parenting on Children”, University of Illinois Law Review, 833-920, 1997. Whitehead, B.D., “Dan Quayle Was Right”, Atlantic Monthly. Vol. 271, pp. 47-50, April, 1993 Read More