Communication and Personality Development - Essay Example

EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION SKILLS

Introduction

Communication skills relate more to the interpersonal relationships that people have, especially when they are engaging in face-to-face communication (Cenere, et al., 2015. P. 183). Therefore, one can say that getting a message across requires verbal communication and effective speaking, but it will be ambiguous to say that communicating using one voice is enough. People communicate using gestures, feelings, behavioral patterns, language, and even appearances to make sure that their message is heard in a clear and correct way. There are some theories that explain in details such methods of effective communication, and they include, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and Transactional Analysis. These theories show in detail how a person can engage in active listening by employing principles of listening such as clarification and reflection. This essay will explore these theories to show how one can develop skills of effective communication. I will also apply the theories to show how they have improved my life in the professional, social, and academic settings. I will also include one primary communication strength and two weaknesses, and show how I can use SMART model to improve my communication skills.

The Two Communication Theories

• Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)

Robert Dilts developed NLP in 1989 is focuses on how people develop their communication performances based on how they view themselves and others. The theory focuses on three areas of our learning: Neuro-our patterns of thinking, Linguistics-how we use and structure language to make the world we live in, and Programming-conscious and subconscious pattern of behavior we use in our daily lives. NLP shows how a person can take control of his or her mind by relating to their past events, and approach to life. The theory is different from psychoanalysis that focuses on the question why; the theory focuses on the question how. For example, it deals with the capability that seeks to develop a mind map in people of the things that they perceive using their five senses (Zachary, 2012).

In turn, people take control of what goes in their minds that include thoughts, feelings, and emotions. This is the major strength of NLP theory; it makes a person have inner mental strength when communicating; therefore, a person has a balanced mood when sending a message to the recipient. This is useful in the workplace environment in the field of leadership. When a leader has inner stable mood when speaking, it becomes easier to match with the employees’ physiology (head nods, posture, and pupil movement), voice (pitch, speed, and tempo), beliefs (excellent lecture), and experience (such as politics) (Ellerton2012).

• Transactional Analysis

Transactional Analysis is a theory that was developed in the 1950s by Eric Berne and it deals with how people respond to messages (whether bad or good news) when they are explaining something in an open talk. Feedback is an important concept when applying this theory because it determines how next people explain their points across. Transactional Analysis applies to communication skills and the manner in which people tend to be assertive or engage questioning skills when they are explaining something. The theory deals with the relationships between people and their transactions. A person can provide an effective feedback regardless of the whether the comment is positive or negative; depending on three types of relationships which play a major role in shaping communication skills. First, there is the parent ego state that includes behaviors, feelings, and thought; copied from the parents. Second, there is the adult ego state that includes behaviors, thoughts, and feelings that people express during communication. Third, there is child ego state that is behaviors, thoughts, and feeling copied from childhood and showed during communication (Barrow & Newton, 2015. p. 65).

Thus, Transactional Analysis explains why some managers are sympathetic, dominant, apologetic, or caring when they engage in discussions that require feedbacks. For example, sensitive people are assertive, which means that they take their needs and the needs of others when communicating. The quality of being assertive is the main strength of Transactional Analysis theory (Das, 2008, p. 148). Take an example of this response, “You want to know if I made a mistake? Yes, I admit, and I would like to fix it in the interest of the greater good.” This phrase portrays the use of assertive skills which makes the person’s message clear, honest, and expressing both the positive and the negative feelings.

Applying the Two Theories in Enhancing My Communication Skills

• Using Neuro-Linguistic Programming in my communication skills

The two theories apply in the way I communicate in a professional setting, my friends, academic projects, and in work situations. Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) has improved my listening skills, especially in my class setting. NLP entails how I relate to others so that I know the way I will talk to them depending on their feelings, moods, postures, and eye movement. More so, I think that the most important skill of NLP is active listening. During discussion groups, I apply the skill of active listening to ensure that I get more information about what my classmates are saying so that I can avoid misunderstandings. This has helped me improve my communication skills because I can provide the best feedback to any question asked either in business or academic projects. NLP has also helped me in oral presentation, such as, when giving a speech, I can read people’s thought (if they happy, curious, bored), language (if they like slang or Standard English), and Programming (behaviors such as murmuring, inquisitive, and so on). NLP has helped me to build rapport when interactive with people, for example, having an experience in dealing with people with negative and positive behaviors, and I have developed interpersonal relationships with different people because I can understand them.

• Applying Transactional Analysis in My Communication Skills

Transactional Analysis has helped me in my academic work and professional situations by using the principle of assertiveness. I think the theory deals with how I exchange information with others based on the relationship I have built with them. For example, when I am talking to a teacher, I check on my behavior to make sure that I do not portray a negative image. I normally speak from an objective point of view; which means, I value both the teacher’s feelings and mine. When with friends, I engage in a social relationship that requires I apply empathy; I mind the feeling of others as well as mine. The theory has helped me improve the skill of active listening, particularly when I need to learn others’ thoughts before I provide a response. Also, by applying active listening when communicating, I have to be able to build rapport and get positive feedbacks from people.

One Key communication Strength and Two Weaknesses

One of my key communication strength is the ability to persuade. I am persuasive especially when I want to make someone do something. I use the skill of persuasion when I realize that person does not want to accomplish a task for reasons which are not convincing enough. Therefore, I persuade to the person to explain to me the reason for refusing to complete the task, and offer a plausible explanation that changes him or her mind. For example, in a workplace environment, I always motivate employees by engaging them to think about the benefits of working hard.

One of my poor communication skills is being impulsive. Sometimes it is hard to tolerate jeering comments from negative minded people when talking; because this sets up my anger and distracts me when explaining a point. To avoid this problem, I will use SMART model to improve my public speaking. Using SMART model: first, being specific will require that I focus on the main points of the speech. Second, being measured will help me identify the numbers of times I get impulsive during public speaking; this will help me work on ways to remain relaxed. Third, being attainable requires that I will try to make ways by which I will always ensure I deliver a good speech without allowing people to take advantage of my impulsiveness. Fourth, being realistic will help me set an objective that I will be able to work on such as doing rehearsals of the speech before an actual public speaking. Being time-bound will require that I set duration which I expect my impulsive problem to end such as ensuring that I control the problem within a the shortest time possible.

Another weakness is the language barrier when giving a speech to people from diverse backgrounds including Chinese, Spanish, French, and many others. Being specific will require focusing on the sole purpose of studying the different languages. This will help me to answer the question from diverse people. Being Measurable will require that I know the number of languages spoken by my audiences so that I can set the goal to study them. The aspect of attainable will demand that I learn languages that most people use when speaking to make a good speech. Being realistic requires that enroll in linguistic studies to learn the foreign languages. Being timely will demand that I duration within which I will learn the different languages.

Conclusion

Being able to communicate effectively is the vital skills that a person can learn in life. Communication is the process through which people transfer message from one place to another either in written or vocal form. How well this information is sent and received depends on of the communication skills that a person has. Thus, development of communication skills are necessary are important in all aspects of life such in professional fields, how a person socialize with others in gatherings, and in ensuring that the information is accurate and clear. As a person continues to develop communication skills, the ability to write, question, listen and speak with conciseness and clarity also improves.