Inter-Personal Communication Concepts - Report Example

Module Inter-Personal Communication Concepts When people interact, they usually use communication as a means to understand each other or express themselves. The process where two people utilize verbal and non-verbal messages to help understand each other is referred to as inter-personal communication. Factors such as personality traits, interpersonal needs, trust, self-concept and attraction normally determine the nature of communication between two people. An individual’s personality seems to play a key role in this interactive process (Anderson 10). This paper will discuss the results obtained from three interviews on interpersonal communication that I conducted with three of my classmates. The respondents’ names were Calvin, Samantha and Arthur. Self-Concept This pertains to the notions that people hold about their qualities, and how they assess these attributes and characteristics. As I interviewed Calvin, I realized that he was correct about his public self-concept. I always perceived him to be an intelligent person and withdrawn from other people. I asked him to describe how he thought other people viewed him and he was quick to reply that many people thought he was distant. He also mentioned that people thought that he was not good at sports because he chose not to engage in any. This was also true since I had always thought that he only engaged in studying. I asked him what his real qualities were and I was surprised to realize that he actually loved sports and he was a big fan of American Football. He also played foosball and chess, and he was quite social when relating with his friends and family. I had always perceived him to be withdrawn for I rarely witnessed him socializing with others. I realized that I had the wrong perception about him. When I asked Calvin how he thought people would have wanted him to behave, he suggested that maybe people would have liked him if he was popular in school(Anderson 29). My second respondent on the issue of self-concept was Samantha. She was vibrant about the whole interview and I usually perceived her to be attractive and caring to other people. When I asked her how she thought people perceived her, she was right to say that people found her helpful and full of energy. This was actually true since many people preferred to join her team when tasked with a group assignment. This was due to the fact that she brought positive energy into the group; therefore, tasks were easily completed. She was also very helpful and always smiled at people, thus spreading warmth in every place she went. I then asked her what her true attributes were and she mentioned that she felt vulnerable because she was always kind to people to an extent that they took her for granted. In all the happiness she felt sad because she was unable to correctly judge other people’s intentions, therefore, leaving her vulnerable. I realized that her real attributes brought a significant change in her mood, thus turning her gloomy. I asked her what her ideal self would be and she replied that she was okay with who she was. She was not interested in changing her identity because she thought people liked her that way. She was quite comfortable with the impressions other people had about her (Anderson 29). First Impressions These are the immediate judgments that arise from meeting an individual for the first time. Samantha said that she was careful about the first impression that she made towards any individual because she did not want to give a negative impression that would result to negative outcomes in the communication process. I agreed with her because I value first impressions significantly. She was aware that first impressions were a significant element in all interpersonal communications. However, she did not judge people according to the first impressions that they made because one could be inclined to making the wrong judgments (Anderson 30). I asked Calvin about first impressions and how they affected inter-personal communication between him and other people, and he replied that they were very important. He said that the first impression that an individual created was usually very important to him, as it determined if he would stay in constant communication with the other person or not. I explained to him that first impressions did not matter to me because one could make the wrong assumption about a particular individual if they based it on the first impression. He insisted that if an individual formed a negative first impression by using poor etiquette or poor glooming practices, he developed a negative attitude towards that particular person. I disagreed with his view on this point since many people made the wrong judgments about certain individuals based on the first impression. Calvin suggested that first impression were crucial in establishing any relationship, therefore, he was very keen on the subject (Anderson 32). Arthur, who was the third respondent, said that he usually tried to make impressive first impressions because they were significant in the interpersonal communication. However, he also did not judge an individual’s character based on the first impression. Arthur was known for his good communication skills and he served as a peer counsellor, therefore, I could see his perspective. He was able to take responsibilities, a trait that matched his interpersonal needs (Anderson 32). Interpersonal Needs There are three important elements on interpersonal needs that propel us to create and keep relationships with others. These include the need for control, inclusion and the need for affection. I found out that Calvin’s most important interpersonal need was inclusion. The test proved that Calvin only engaged others when he wanted to be included in a conversation or an activity. Calvin expressed inclusion by actively getting involved in or showing interest in certain people. He said that when he wanted to be included in an interaction he would become active in the discussion and make nonverbal communication such as eye contact. When he became inactive, it meant that he did not want to engage in the conversation. He also liked to be in control and make his own decisions. However, this was not the key interpersonal need for Calvin. Samantha’s most prominent interpersonal need was affection. The test showed that Samantha fostered relationships and communicated with others due to the fact that she was willing to give and show love to others. That explained why she was so kind and rarely wronged another person. The test also showed that Samantha was more willing to accept other people’s decisions (Anderson 35). Arthur’s most prominent interpersonal need was control. He was delighted in taking responsibility and making decisions. The test showed that Arthur loved to be in control of situations and but did not easily accept decisions made by others. He used to make various suggestions and chose the activities that others would participate in. He also craved the need to be loved and accepted by others. That may explain the manner in which he handled other people with respect and affection but still wanted to be in charge of the affairs at hand. After taking the test, I realized that my results were similar to Calvin’s. I like making my own decisions and try to avoid people who are controlling. I also interact with individuals when I want to be included in the conversation such as the people who share similar needs with me (Anderson 35). Similar Needs (Symmetrical) or Opposite Needs (Complementary) I am usually attracted to individuals who share similar interest with me. I find it easier to communicate or foster a relationship with people bearing symmetrical needs because they understand me quite easily and I am also able to understand them. Calvin also fosters interpersonal communication based on symmetrical needs. Calvin only engaged others in a conversation when there was a mutual benefit or a similar interest involved. When I asked him whether he prefers to communicate with certain people over others, he accepted. He mentioned that he was able to communicate freely with people based on symmetrical needs (Anderson 36). I found that Samantha and Arthur were able to foster interpersonal communication based on both symmetrical and complementary needs. I asked Samantha who she preferred to communicate with and she replied that she could communicate with everyone easily. This means that her interpersonal communication were rarely based on similar or opposite needs. She was keen to mention that differences did not hinder how she interacted with others. Arthur also showed the same attributes as he stated that he did not prefer to interact with any individual over the other based on similar or opposite needs. He said that similarities and differences did not matter as much as trust (Anderson 36). Trust Trust affects interpersonal communication in that some people have a low level of trust for other people while others highly trust others. Arthur emphasized on the need to trust the other person before he engaged in a conversation with him or her. This shows that he did not trust other easily. He said that open communication would only be fostered by trust. If he did not know an individual well, he did not share much with him or her, therefore, affecting the interpersonal communication. He also said that he found it difficult to speak openly to a person who had broken his trust (Anderson 37). Samantha was also concerned about trust but from a different perspective. She stated that she easily trusted people and was concerned about being tricked or taken for granted. Samantha was known for having a forgiving heart and whenever one wronged her and apologized, she was quick to forgive. She tried to foster good interpersonal communication with everyone, therefore, trusted highly (Anderson 37). Calvin echoed the same sentiments stated by Arthur. However, Calvin was more rigorous when it came to the trust issue than Arthur. He claimed that the only people he engaged in a personal conversation with were family members and the trusted close friends. He valued privacy very highly, which is a personality trait of many introverts (Anderson 37). Personality Calvin is usually known for his cool demeanor. His personality trait can be referred to as introversion. From previous encounters and observations, I knew that he liked to keep things to himself. I reluctantly asked him to participate in my interview because I was not sure whether he would accept. However I was glad that I asked him to participate in the interview because I found out certain traits about his personality that lead people into making the wrong conclusions about him (Anderson 40). Introverts are usually distant and reserved but when in the company of friends, they interact normally. Calvin was distant in class and seemed to have no friends but after interacting with him, I realized that he had friends and he can also be sociable. Similar to other introverts, he was precise in conversations and did not like to engage in small talk. He said that he was not good at public speaking although he had self-confidence. This attribute made some people think that he had poor communication skills and did not like socializing. He was honest, time conscious and goal oriented. He explained to me that the reason why he communicated with a few people in class was because he felt that they did not share a lot in common with him. He was not fond of crowds. These are all personality traits attributed to introverts (Anderson 42). He liked spending time alone and usually found pleasure in reading rather than attending social gatherings or parties. Perhaps this was the most intriguing personality trait about him. He stated that he liked spending time alone thinking about different phenomenon (Anderson 43). Work Cited Anderson, James. Communication Yearbook 14. Hoboken: Taylor & Francis, 2011. Print. Read More