Key Counseling Skills - Coursework Example

 Counseling Skills Counseling is a process of clearing out of all the unnecessary things, doubts or confusions from the mind by getting advice from an expert (counselor). The counselor will act as a person with a mirror through which the counselee can see his image. Self awareness is a difficult task and the counselor will help the counselee in getting a proper picture about the mindset of the counselee. “We all have experiences in which we can’t see things about ourselves without a mirror.”  (What Is Counseling? 2003) Counseling session I have an interesting experience of attending a counseling session with one of my teacher friend. My teacher friend has some psychological problems in his profession and we decided to seek the advice of an expert. Both of us together visited the counselor who was a well known psychologist. Fortunately most of the counseling sessions were undergone in the presence of me also though on few occasions the counselor asked me to vacate the room. So I got enough opportunity in getting well versed in counseling techniques. My friend has immense beliefs in values and morals. He considered teaching profession as a sacred one and was never ready to compromise on any occasions. In a world of high competition, the schools also competed rather unhealthily to secure top results. In order to get better results the school authorities have advised my teacher friend to help the average and below average students in examinations using malpractices. He was not ready to accept such things since his principles in life were against such an act. He believed that helping students to get better marks in examinations is a sin and hence he refused to obey the orders of the school authorities. Though he succeeded in resisting the temptation from the school authorities, he has developed some kind of psychological problems out of the fear of losing the job. My teacher friend often discussed his problems with me and I suggested him for seeking the advice of a psychologist. The psychologist allowed me to attend the counseling session along with the teacher friend for the major sessions of the counseling period. The counselor has started the session by asking the reason for our purpose of visiting him. I tried to answer this question on behalf of my friend which the counselor denied. He told me to remain silent and ask my friend to reply this question. Soon I realized that the counselor is using the introspection method to read the mind of my teacher friend. My friend has started to explain his problems. Most of the times, the counselor remained silent. He was simply watching my friend’s gestures and method of explanation of his problems. After my friend has finished explaining his problems, the counselor has slowly started to talk about the problem. He has explained that we are living in a world where humans are living not the angels. He told my teacher friend that Human can make mistakes. Again he explained that a student who has answered 70 questions only correctly out of the 100 questions will get a 2:1 grade even though he committed 30 mistakes. Human life is also like that; he explained. We have to think in terms of a maximum 2:1 grade. It is difficult to obtain more than that in human life since we are surrounded by evil things. He also explained that the negative thoughts my friend has is just pictures only. It is not a real thing. He advised my friend to practice deep breathing technique whenever he experiences stress or anxiety. My friend was completely satisfied with the counseling session and he slowly came out of the problems by obeying the instructions of the psychologist. Feelings about a counseling session before, during and after the session My feeling about a counseling session has changed drastically after the session. Earlier I thought counseling session is a mere advice session. I thought the counselor will provide some advices only, in a counseling session. Also I thought, a counseling session may last maximum for 30 minutes. But all my prejudices about a counseling session have changed after the first session itself. “Counselors do not usually offer advice, but instead give insight into the client’s feelings and behavior and help the client change their behavior if necessary. They do this by listening to what the client has to say and commenting on it from a professional perspective. Counseling covers a wide spectrum from the highly trained counselor to someone who uses counseling skills as part of their role, for example, a nurse or teacher.” (COUNSELLING SKILLS, 2007) At the time of counseling, I have realized the importance of patience from the part of the counselor in hearing the problems of the counselee. The counselor was never exhibited any kind of discomfort while hearing the problems of the counselee. Moreover he encouraged the counselee to reveal more things whenever the counselee hesitated to do so. The counselor’s calm and polite approach succeeded in building more confidence in counselee to reveal all his personal problems. “The role of the counselor is to facilitate the person’s resolution of the issues, whilst respect their values, personal resources, culture and capacity for choice. Counseling can provide people with a regular time and space to talk about their problems and explore difficult feelings in a confidential and dependable environment.” (COUNSELLING SKILLS, 2007) After the counseling first counseling session, the entire session has gone through my mind when I went to bed for sleeping. I have realized more things about the counseling session then only. I have thought about each and every words used by the counselor in response to the personal problems of the counselee. All his answers were logically arranged and were convincing. My friend has all his doubts cleared beyond doubt. Moreover the counselor has given an explanation for the personal problems of the counselee which acted as a mirror for the counselee. The counselee has seen his image when the counselor has provided his reflections about the problem. So counseling can be considered as a process which helps the counselee to see his image. He can see the dirty things on his image and can try to remove it. So the basic idea behind counseling is to make the counselee to identify the problems he has which will help him to take self measures to avoid it. Key counseling skills “Individual counseling provides an opportunity to learn to make better decisions, improve one’s relationships, and generally increase personal effectiveness. With the help of a counselor, a person can explore feelings and express them better, examine beliefs, and work toward making healthy changes.” (What is Counseling? 2009) The counselor must have good analyzing capacities. Misinterpretations of problems may cause more harm than benefits to the counselee. For example in the case explained above, the counselor was successful in identifying my friend’s peculiar nature of doing everything in a perfect manner. Perfectionism was the identified cause for the troubles of my friend by the counselor and hence he utilized exact examples to counter this belief of my friend. If the counselor misinterpreted the problem, then he might have used some other examples which may not be useful or relevant to my friend. So the correct understanding of the problem is essential. The counselor should have good temperament and patience. The counselor needs to arrange his advises or instructions on a logical manner. The description of the problem by the counselor should be attractive to the counselee. His full attention of the counselee must be concentrated on what the counselor is saying and for that purpose , the narrative skills of the counselor must be excellent. He should explain everything in simple languages, understandable to the counselee. Verbatim examples of key skills and their impact The example used by the counselor in this counseling session was thought provoking one for the counselee. He has used the example of human and angels to convince the counselee. He has convinced the counselee that a person with 70 correct answers out of 100 is considered as a 2:1 person as far as human life is concerned. Those who got 100 out of 100 will never be humans; they will be angels. The earth is meant for humans and angels can never stay here. This example has touched the counselee immensely. I have enquired the counselee about the convincing part of the counseling session. He told me that the example of angels and humans used by the counselee has influenced him a lot. He has realized the fact about what was he trying to attain through this example. He has realized that he was trying to become perfect in every aspect of his life which is practically impossible in this world as per the counselor. My teacher friend has realized this fact only after the counseling session. The counselor succeeded in raising his self belief by saying that he is a person of 2:1 grade now in the society and most of the others in the society may not come closer to him. The counselor also used another quote from the Holy Bible. He has convinced the counselee that all the human beings who are the sons of Adam are sinners and nobody can deny that fact even scientifically since our genetics is controlled by the genes of Adam. My friend was brought up in a highly religious family and hence he had strong beliefs in morals and values. His parents were also teachers and they advised him not to engage in activities against the professional ethics. The pressure from the school authorities has struggled with the moral values and hence he developed psychological problems. The two examples cited by the psychologist clearly revealed the meaninglessness of the fundamentals of his belief. Personal responses and experiences identified “In a counseling relationship, the counselor and client work together to explore every aspect of the client’s circumstances, enabling the individual to re-evaluate his or her experiences, capabilities and potential. Formal degrees in psychology do not necessarily make good counselors, but a common sense approach is not sufficient. (Lister, 2008) Academic qualifications alone may not make a good counselor. The counselor should have good oral skills. It is not necessary that all master degree holders in psychology becomes good counselors. Good counselors always have willingness to learn themselves and other people too. The interpersonal skills of the counselors must be excellent Counseling usually consists of two types of questions from the counselor; open questions and closed questions. An open question is one that is used in order to gathering lots of information with the intent of getting a long answer. A closed question is one used to gather specific information - it can normally be answered with either a single word or a short phrase. (Steven 2008) Open questions may often relate to general things like the family, society, environment, culture etc. The closed questions often concentrate on specific things like the age, profession, working place, colleagues, family members etc. Conclusions Counseling is not a process of advising. It makes a person able to identify his mistakes by himself. Counseling guides the person towards the problem. Once the self realization of the problem occurs, the defense mechanisms will be activated automatically. Good counselors should have patience, temperament, analytical skills, oral skills, and convincing capacities. They should be able to provide a self realization mirror to the counselee through the counseling sessions. The counselor should never be agitated under any circumstances. He should be a good listener and also should be a good judge. References 1. What Is Counseling? (2003), Retrieved on March 23, 2009 from http://www2.gsu.edu/~wwwcou/lifeshops/whatcounseling.htm 2. What is Counseling?, (2009) Retrieved on March 23, 2009 from http://www.cazenovia.edu/Default.aspx?tabid=461 3. Lister Iona K, (2008) Being a Good Counselor Retrieved on March 23, 2009 from http://counseling.suite101.com/article.cfm/being_a_good_counselor 4. Steven Jan Carrie (2008), Step One - Learning the Basic Skills of Counseling Techniques Retrieved on March 23, 2009 from http://www.basic-counseling-skills.com/counseling-techniques.html 5. COUNSELLING SKILLS, (2007) Retrieved on March 23, 2009 from http://www.acsedu.co.uk/Courses/Psychology/COUNSELLING-SKILLS-l-BPS109-475.aspx Read More