Love and Life - Who Are My Parents to Me - Essay Example

?Love and Life: A Reflection People are born into this world essentially equal and the same underneath the surface differences. That said, in the endhow a person comes into his or her own largely on the strength of a certain set of personal experiences, nurtured by a social environment that is also unique, and shaped by the life events that are the lot of the individual. Life occurs within this complex matrix of overlapping realities. Recalling my own growth process, I see that my general view of affection, friendship and love has changed dramatically through the years. I measure my own growth to maturity from this lens of such dramatic personal changes. Back to those days when I was in elementary school, my parents were busy with work, so needed to get used to staying at home all by myself. This was so, because it was legal in my home country to leave children alone at home. I still remember the first time my mom needed to leave home for some emergency, and I had to stay at home alone for the first time. After my mom locked the door, I ran to the window and watched my mom leave, with my tears flowing. I felt so afraid and helpless at that time. Even now, I still remember the feeling. I did not understand why my parents were so busy everyday that they had no time to accompany me. This bewilderment on my part no doubt created some emotional distance between us. Just like most teenagers, I experienced my rebellious period. I was extremely tired of my parents at that time, and I thought they did not understand me. No matter what they said, it seemed I was always wrong. I liked to shut myself in my room after I got home from school, then I would not show up until next morning when I needed to go back to school for classes. I did not truly understand my parents until I went to college. Although my resistance towards my parents weakened after the rebellious period, for most of the time, I ignored what my parents told me. I did things following of my own thoughts and will. In retrospect, I realize what my parents told me was quite useful for my future life. Because I had been an independent child from an early age, my parents thought I could take care of myself, and were confident to let me go on my own and study abroad to secure a better future for myself. I was accustomed to traveling around on my own, and I was very excited about studying abroad. When my father asked me whether I was fully prepared to study in the United States in all seriousness, I answered “yes” without hesitation. In my mind there was no difference between studying abroad and studying out of state within my home country. I naively thought I was mature enough to take full charge of my own business without help from anyone. When I really set foot on a foreign land and started a totally different life though, I came face to face with my self-righteousness and naivete. It was then that I began to understand why my parents were very worried about how my life would turn out in a foreign country, without them by my side. Perhaps it was from the moment that I started to live in the United States that I really grew up to be a person who can be responsible for myself, as well as for my parents. When I was living by my parents’ side, there was nothing that I needed to worry about. My parents assumed all of the pressures of my life, and my only task was to live well, and study well. When I came to the United States though, I needed to take over every single task of life, from renting an apartment to buying groceries. All of a sudden I realized how difficult it was to live a comfortable life. It is a great thing that my mom managed the life of the whole family. When I was living with my parents, I would stay far away from my parents for a long time. I never thought how my parents would miss me back at home, and of course I never missed my parents then. When I came to the United States though, I kept thinking of my parents and how they were. I would come back home on summer vacations and knew they were happy to be with me, even though they didn’t say anything. Maybe when I step into middle age, most of my friends will not longer be there for me, but I know I will always be able to depend on my parents, and they will always be there for me. Maybe I will still quarrel with them, due to the generational gap between us, something inevitable. That said those petty quarrels will not change the fact that they will always be my lifelong love, and I will be sure to tell them that often, and without delay. Life became extremely busy in college, to the point that I wished there were forty-eight hours in a day. Because of my busy life and the time difference between my place and that of my home country, I hardly had time to to my friends back in my home country. One day in the midst of all that I suddenly realized that I had not talked to my old friends for more than half a year. When I attempted to say something to my friends though, I was full of hesitation because I didn't know what to say. I had been so far removed from them and their lives for quite some time by then. I just stared at my computer screen, hesitated to type a single word, and felt perplexed and melancholy. I still remembered the days when we were so close to each other. We shared our little secrets to each other, and we promised to attend each others' weddings. I ended up leaving several greetings in each of my best friends’ blog sites and tried to sleep afterward, but couldn’t. I woke up early the next morning, hoping to see some responses from my friends. It didn't matter to me if those responses showed concerns, or were full of complaints. Surprisingly, I got far fewer responses from my old friends than I expected.. I had a very tough time getting over my sorrows over my lost friendships and vital relationships, but once I did, I figured out who would be my lifelong friends. I still have several friends back in my home country, much less than I used to have, but I regard them as the best gifts that life has given me. We still hardly have time to contact each other. Maybe we’ll only have one chance in ten thousand to see each other for the rest of our lives, but I know for sure we will always miss each other from the bottom of our hearts. Maybe when we meet each other again after many years, and all have changed, we will still profoundly remember every moment we were together, and that would be enough. Life can sometimes be as calm as an abandoned well. Maybe you’ll fall into that well. Maybe you’ll not be able to have the kind of love that will last until the end of the universe, and maybe you’ll grow old enough to have gray hair and wrinkles. With such friends, however, there will be happy little ripples and color in your life. You think of them, remember them, perhaps they will stay in your mind for life. That is what I gained from days of friendship. The ending for some is not really happy, my they all taught me many memorable lessons. There is always a dose of bitter medicine called love in the memories of youthful times. It seems like people can never find the perfect balance between loving others and being loved. People are the kind of creatures who understand the meaning of loneliness more than most, so everyone is eager to be loved. Before I came to college, everyone told me that I would have a relationship with a significant other before my college life was over. In my mind, however, today’s love is kind of different from what I remember. My parents were classmates in college, and they got married after graduation. What surprised me was they were both each others’ first love. This is not something that normally happened even back in the days of my parents’ youth. As far as I can remember, they only quarreled once, when I was in elementary school. They love and respect each other. They still act like a young couple that just fell in love with each other, although they have been married for over twenty years. Maybe I was influenced by my parents. I believe that couples should live a life just like my parents’. What’s more, I did have a remarkable relationship with a significant other for over three years. Although we broke up in the end, I remember the feeling of loving and of being loved. That said, in this modern society, it is difficult to treat each other with sincerity and genuine intention. People are easily bored with each other. The pressure of increasing competition within society has made people impatient. Because of these internal and external realities, most people cannot keep a long-term relationship. This is especially true for college students. There are so many fresh temptations that bombard students outside of school life on a daily basis, that it has become even harder to keep a long-term relationship than in the past. Life teaches us to be more jaded and realistic with time and experience. There are so many touching romantic affairs in this world that become stale. Such is life. What we can do is remember those beautiful moments in our lives, and keep in mind that pure love still exists in spite of the brokenness of life. It may just be buried under the fast pace of modern life, waiting to be unearthed.. When I was young, happiness was simple. A lollipop was sufficient to satisfy a childlike innocence, a little praise was enough for a blossoming smile, and a coin was enough to bring happiness. Back then, happiness was free and spontaneous, easy to be had: holding friend’s hand, playing hide-and-seek together. There was too much happiness in the small heart. I return to the simple and the happy. I stop thinking about the complex and mutilated things, and smile a little more. This, as the mood naturally improves, and one returns to a simpler and more profound happiness. In this state of things growth is the simplest process in one’s life, or the most difficult one, or both at the same time. You open up to a natural maturity with time, and your outlook on life and world view may morph into something that is totally different from what you used to believe, and that would be fine too. I see that love, affection and friendship are the three main arteries of people’s lives. Only under the aggregation of the three arteries can people have a steady stream of of energy to move forward. Losing friendship is like losing the map of life in this vision. People would not be able to find their ways without friends. Losing affection is equal to losing the life bags. Without it people are like maple leaves flying up and down in the wind. Love is that other most vital half of oneself, without which life may never be complete.. Read More