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Rewriting examples for grammar comments - Essay Example

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Summary
I am trying to make a list of canned feedback comments. I need help coming up with new examples; you are going to see some of the examples repeated many times. For instance, see the first one: Thanks for the excellent work on your assignment; you did a great job of writing and meeting the objectives…
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Example: Overall, Management Systems International has logged increased sales in every sector, leading to a significant rise in third-quarter profits. Another important thing to note is that the corporation had expanded its international influence. Revision: Overall, Management Systems International has logged increased sales in every sector, leading to a significant rise in third-quarter profits. These impressive profits are largely due to the corporation's expanded international influence. See this website for help: http://www.studygs.net/wrtstr6.htm. I noticed the use of some run-on sentences here in your assignment.

Avoid those. Add example of run on and correction. See: http://ace.acadiau.ca/english/grammar/runon.htm. This is very well done. I appreciate your hard work, good thoughts, and good contributions. Thanks for the excellent job. I am very impressed with your good work this week. Let me know if you have any questions about the assignment, your grade, or anything else. Wonderful job. What I need are these examples to be rewritten since I used them over and over again. Using an example a couple of times is OK, and you do not need to rewrite every comment and the whole comment, JUST THE EXAMPLES, because it’s all I can pay for.

That’s it, thanks! Comments to Revise: Thanks for the fantastic job here of meeting the assignment objectives. Just a few writing suggestions here: Your assignment is good but could use some transitions to make it flow better. See this website for help: http://www.studygs.net/wrtstr6.htm Instead of writing transitions that could connect any paragraph to any other paragraph, write a transition that could only connect one specific paragraph to another specific paragraph. Example: The Renaissance period brought tremendous changes in the artistic approaches based upon the traditional art of Greek and Roman statuary.

The Expressionist movement of the 1900s instituted a profound rejection of all the traditional ways of the past and introduced a completely new approach to art. Revision: Although the Renaissance period brought tremendous changes in the artistic approaches based upon the traditional art of Greek and Roman statuary, it was the Expressionist movement of the 1900s that instituted a profound rejection of all the traditional ways of the past and introduced a completely new approach to art. Throughout your project, I noticed the use of some run-on sentences from formally writing.

See: http://ace.acadiau.ca/english/grammar/runon.htm. Thanks for the outstanding contributions to the homework thread this week. You did an excellent job. I appreciate how well you participated and expressed yourself. Nice writing. Let me know if you have any questions about the assignment, your grade, or anything else. Wonderful job. You did a nice job of writing and a good job of addressing the assignment goals. Just a few suggestions: I appreciate the work here on your assignment, but it appears that you could use some transitions to help connect your ideas.

http://www.studygs.net/wrtstr6.htm. Instead of writing transitions that could connect any paragraph to any other paragraph, write a transition that could only connect one specific paragraph to another specific paragraph. Example: Perhaps the most important thing that happened during the mid- to late-nineteenth century was the shift that took place in mankind’s way of thinking. Mankind learned to apply systematic thought processes to explain

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