Reflective technique of listening - Essay Example

Reflective Learning Introduction Listening is more often than not confused by human beings with hearing. The hearing is a completely mechanical process which is performed by us all the time. Listening goes beyond this mechanical process. Its focus is to actually understand the speaker and show empathy towards him. We will try to analyze an article here written by Dalmar fisher which deals with the concept of reflective listening. This article has been written by him in the book Communication in Organization. The article has been included in the appendix. Reflective listening is more difficult than most people believe it is. It requires full concentration on part of the listener to pay attention to the speaker and not let his thoughts or judgments come in the way. Reflective listening is done to help a speaker sort out a problem or to allow him to express his feelings. We will analyze the techniques proposed by Dalamr fisher with regard to this aspect of listening. Analysis of the article The above article deals with the reflective technique of listening. It initially goes on to explain the listening orientation and then follows it up with how reflective listening is to be performed. The writer explains what reflective listening is and when it used. He says that it should be used when you are trying to help the speaker deal with something. Very little effort to provide solutions to the speaker should be done; the primary focus of this type of listening is to let the speaker deal with his emotions and let him find a solution for himself. The first thing of importance that article describes in the orientation to be adopted while listening. The orientation should consist of four main components: empathy, acceptance, congruence, and concreteness. The writer then goes on to explain empathy as the listener’s desire to understand the internal frame of mind of the speaker. The author explains the concept very well by giving examples of how empathy can be shown by saying phrases like “I follow you”; “I am with you”. He explains acceptance as accepting the person for what he is and not trying to judge him. It is closely related to empathy. When a person doesn’t try to judge the speaker; the speaker is encouraged to speak freely and discuss all aspects of the problem that he has been facing. Congruence is explained as being in the same external frame as you are internal. If you are angry, the writer feels it is better to tell the speaker than to show false sympathy as the speaker can always guess whether your concern is genuine or not. Concreteness is defined as the ability of the listener to focus on specifics rather than vague generalities and ideas. The listener should encourage the speaker to be more specific in order to help him reach the root cause of this problem. The speaker may be trying to avoid it. In reflection, the listener should attempt to clarify and restate what the speaker is saying. I will not only assure the speaker that you are paying attention to what you are saying but will also clear your thoughts and help you to understand the speaker in a better way. Listening orientation and reflective listening are said to be mutually re-enforcing by the writer. One feeds on the other and helps the other to grow. The listener should try to react to only personal comments made by the speaker such as “I am worried about the job”. Instead of focusing on how his job is; reflective listening encourages the listener to focus on the worried part. Reflective listening basically lets the speaker take ownership of the problem. So the writer says that the listener should never try to lead the conversation but should only respond whenever necessary. These responses should be limited and should only be there to encourage the speaker to continue speaking. The most important aspect of reflective listening mentioned by the writer is to acknowledge; understand and respond to the feelings of the speaker rather than the actual content of what he is saying. These feelings might not be in the content but it may be implied by the content of the speaker. Understanding these underlying feelings is the real success of a reflective listener. The writer also explains some dangers to avoid while trying to listen reflectively such as stereotyped reactions, trying to get too close to the speaker, giving a long response which diverts the speaker from the topic and inattention to non-verbal cues from the speaker. Personal Reflection The writer has explained the concepts in plain and easy to understand language. Each and every concept has been elaborated with examples from real life. The most interesting point of the article was infected a quiz which tests the understanding of the reader by giving a set of statements and asking the reader to classify the statements which can be used in reflective learning techniques. The writer explains the concepts by using a flowchart at the end of the reading which clarifies concepts and gives a brief summary of the points discussed in the article. The writer also goes beyond theory and goes on to encourage the reader to practice reflective listening with people around him. In order to encourage the article acknowledges the awkwardness that the reader may feel in the beginning but encourages him to go beyond the initial hesitation and practice it as it will lead to various benefits. The article clearly helps a person to understand the advantages of reflective listening technique. It also explains the process which can be used in order to follow this technique in the day to day activities. The article then goes on to explain how my day to day relationships with other people will be improved when practical application of the technique is done. The writer has not only explained theory but has also given real-life examples in order to make the concepts clear. Finally, the most important advantage is that the writer explains the various pitfalls that are associated with the technique and may lead to failure of the technique if the other person misunderstands you. Conclusion Thus in a nutshell reflective listening can be said to be complementary to listening orientation. You need to have the correct orientation in order to listen reflectively. Empathy, acceptance, congruence, and concreteness can be said to be the main aspects of listening orientation. The article describes effectively the advantages of reflective listening and also helps an uninitiated person to understand the process with which this listening technique can be applied. Works Cited Fisher, D. (2010). Reflective Listening Techniques. In D. Fisher, Communication in organizations (pp. 210 - 278). New York: West Pub., 1993. Read More