What Makes a Successful Marriage - Essay Example

Introduction There are no set rules or success formulas for any long lasting relationship happening between two people in the form of marriage. A number of factors are influencing the bond almost consistently. To keep everything in balance sometimes becomes uncontrollable for many while there is no less number of couples who cherish this beautiful connection throughout their lives (Charles D. Schmitz, 2010 ). Thesis Statement This paper is designed to discuss elements of how can we have a grown-up and consequential marriage relationship. At times the obstacles to a high-quality marriage seem insuperable, but there is always room for improvement. This paper will evaluate the methods which will allow your marriage to be anticipated as the only best thing of your life. Moreover, it will discuss the issues which have made your marriage pressed down your list of priorities since having kids. Lastly we will explore the optimum approaches and factors including backgrounds of spouses, similarity of interests and behaviors, socio-economic status, equity and equality, mental compatibility and so on, which can make a marriage successful. Theory We exist in a society that promotes self-interest; many come to marriage from unbalanced family backgrounds. Too few couples are requisite to complete premarital counseling. When we combine these factors with the strains and demands of life in the true world, it is not astonishing that so many marriages are easily broken. To make or maintain a strong marriage it is required to take some critical steps: You must be eager to put time, endeavor and consideration into nurturing your marriage. The ideas that pursue will help you follow through on this obligation and will put new life and significance into your marriage (Luxama, 2009 ). Similar Backgrounds: Homogamous and Heterogamous But still what makes a marriage successful is a big question lurking in many minds. In numerous cultures it is widely and firmly believed that marriages happening in same cultures, race, religion and social class tend to be successful. People believe that if we get married to someone who holds same religious views as we do, it becomes smooth to raise children on one single religious view point instead of two diverse views exerted by both the parents. Marrying in different cultures would ask for blending in one other’s cultures and values properly to stay happy. If a husband’s family is quite influential, it would become hard for the wife to cope up with issues that would rise later on due to her weak financial background. So sometimes it seems right to prefer homogamy over heterogamy to let the things slide easy (Pantley, 2000). Similar / Common characteristics and Interests On the contrary it is observed almost regularly that this formula is not as workable as it used to be years and years ago. Times are changing and so does our relationships. Many people are ready to experiment with getting married outside their own restricted class and race and are open to explore more possibilities. One other thing that seems important in any healthy relationship is that the two people share the same traits and interests. It helps a great deal to keep things going on the right track. With the presence of mutual interests there is less possibility of arguments and conflicts. Such people work together happily and are capable to tackle routine problems and issues more aptly (Charles D. Schmitz, 2010 ). Research The foundation of marriage is on togetherness. We must not allow separating forces to disconnect us. When you have kids, there are three communal relationships in your house: Parent/kid, sibling/sibling and husband/wife. The only eternal relationship is the third one your marriage. We must prioritize this association in a way that persuades our offsprings to value and respect it. Keep in mind: children construct much of their identity and protection on the strength of their parents’ marriage. Economic Security-Status/ Work & Two Pay Check Couples It is inevitable that in recent times an escalated number of divorces happening than they used to be in the past. Most of the times we blame the deteriorated economic situations of modern families to sustain them and stay united for long. It cannot be ignored that many couples who do not follow the contemporary routine of wife staying at home and doing home chores while husband going out to earn bread, are happier than those who are not quick to change their mind set and adapt new requirements. Two pay checks do count. Whereas if we look at the other side of the picture, sometimes both working individuals are not capable to give each other and their kids quality time which can bud scores of issues and eventually a doomed relationship. Work pressures are increasing so does the tension and anxiety level in workers. This does affect their marital relationships at large (Pantley, 2000). Critical Analysis Did you ever speculate why some people find the ideal person to marry, do so, and take pleasure in a love affair that lasts a life span? On the other hand, some get married to a person that is incorrect for them now, erroneous for them tomorrow and wide of the mark for them for a life span? What’s the dissimilarity? Why do some do well at love and marriage where others are unsuccessful? Domestic work & Child Care: The importance of Equity and Equality Those women who stay at home and take care of their kids, their home work, food and fulfill all essential needs of their families are more successful in developing and prospering strong marital relationships. A man is working and when he gets back home, his home is well-managed, food is prepared and a lovely wife meeting him at the door wearing a smile is something not possible when both partners are going at work on same or different times of the day (Margarita Tartakovsky, 2011). Marriage Quality Rests On Commitment One other main issue in our societies is that most men do not treat their spouses as they are equal to them in all respects. They degrade them, ridicule them and treat them as inferiors. Such attitude is venomous to an intricate relationship like marriage. Though the other person is staying with you and not leaving you for this behavior but she would hate you for all this and you will not be capable to get most out of your relationship. If it has been 20 years that you are together, there is no harm in saying ‘I love you’ to your spouse as frequently as you used to do while you both were young. You can still bring her a present every now and then to kindle the spark of her eyes. Marriage Quality Rests On Acceptance The best way to keep a happy relationship with your spouse for longer is the compassion to communicate about any issue or misunderstanding that may arise between both of you. If both the individuals want to stay together there is no external force that can rip them apart. Marriage Quality Rests On Caring The sex part is the big obsession when you first get married, then unfortunately that fades in a hurry. It goes long way when you always feel like genuine partners and friends. Peace and good heart are the most important things to nurture your relationship. Marriage Quality Rests On Flexibility A relationship that results after a marriage is entirely based on uncertainty. Whether you know the person for years or you are just met, nothing can be said for sure about the success of such a union. Continue loving your spouse while keeping your fingers crossed (Charles D. Schmitz, 2010 ). Recommendation Your primary step in accumulating crackle to your marriage is to look for the excellent and ignore the bad. Compliments are effortless to give, take such a little bit of time, and they’re free. Compliments are influential; you just have to make the attempt to say them. In any human affiliation there will be differences and clash. The key here is to make your mind up which issues are worth pursuing and which are better off unnoticed. By doing this, you’ll uncover much less pessimistic energy between you. Make the attempt to touch your other half more often such as a tap, a hug, a kiss, a shoulder or head massage. Through this you’ll discover yourselves touching each other more often, and escalating the romantic facet of your relationship Conclusion Making a matrimonial relationship a success requires hard work. If you stand your marriage on a lie, you unnoticed the actions you were scrutinizing in the person you were falling in love with, then all of the easy things obligatory to make a marriage work will more than likely not be sufficient to carry the day. Insidious characteristics in individuals are very bona fide. They delineate who they are and they roughly never change. As we always say, keep your eyes wide open at the time of falling in love, so that you won’t be disappointed for it afterwards (Pantley, 2000). Now here are some more questions to think about for future research, Is Your Marriage fine Enough? Does having the hold up of family/friends in regards to your relationship make it further successful? How long a Marriage is supposed to last? Does it follow specific with directions? References Charles D. Schmitz, E. A. (2010 ). Building a Love that Lasts: The Seven Surprising Secrets of Successful Marriage. John Wiley and Sons. Luxama, D. (2009 ). A Successful Marriage. Donald Luxama. Margarita Tartakovsky, M. (2011, February 23). 5 Steps to a Successful Marriage. Retrieved February 28, 2012, from Psych Central: http://psychcentral.com/lib/2011/5-steps-to-a-successful-marriage/ Pantley, E. (2000). Retrieved February 28, 2012, from How to have a happy marriage when You are Busy Being Parents: http://www.pantley.com/files/HaveAHappyMarriage.pdf Schmitz, D. C. (2007). Successful Marriage. Retrieved February 28, 2012, from Simple Things Matter: http://www.simplethingsmatter.com/Successful_Marriage.html Read More