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Those parents who coddle their kids and could not stay away from hyper parenting, when turn old; seek emotional dependence on their children more than parents who were not into hyper parenting. This kind of parental attachment not only makes the child pressurised with filial obligation but also puts him/her in a tough situation to cope with his/her own children and spouse (Stein et al, 1998). Though it is commonly said that parents love their children unconditionally, but where there is love there is expectation.
According to the attachment theory, the nature of the relationship between the child and the parents from the beginning shapes the child’s approach towards the parents in their old age. Care giving is considered to be integrally related to attachment in relationship and defines the rapport between the child as the care giver and the parents as the care receivers (Pistole, 1999). From the point of view of the attachment theory, parents who had coddled and hyper parented their children are justified in their expectation of getting similar love and attention from their children.
It has also been seen that in most cases children too were duly attached to their parents. The Exchange theory throws similar light on the functioning of the relationship between adult care giving children and the aged parents. But it also points out the natural equation of give and take in any kind of relationship including parent-child that is subject to change on the basis of socio-economic factors like resources, social class, health, and quality of the relationship (Durant and Christian, 2007).
So, there is every possibility that if the care giving child is under family or economic stress and feel the parents to be burden, the child might not reciprocate as per the parents’ expectation. Regarding the consequences of undue parental expectation, it could be said that providing care for one’s parents is considered as part of societal norm and is in no way held to disrupt care giving requirements.ReferenceDurant, Thomas J., Jr.; Christian, Ollie G. 2007. Care giving to aging parents.
Forum on Public Policy: A Journal of the Oxford Round Table. Vol 1. Retrieved 26th November 2011 from High Beam Research.Pistole, M Carole. 1999. Caregiving in attachment relationships: A perspective for counsellors. Journal of Counselling and Development. Vol 77(4), pp437-46. Retrieved 26th November 2011 from High Beam ResearchStein, Catherine H; Wemmerus, Virginia A; Ward, Marcia; Et al. 1998. "Because theyre my parents": An intergenerational study of felt obligation and parental caregiving.
Journal of Marriage and the Family. Vol 60, pp 611-622. Retrieved 26th November 2011 from High Beam Research
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