Sex only after marriage - Essay Example

Our culture is filled with evidence that the trust needed for people to build intimate and lasting relationships is decaying. Societal upheaval is close to completely overthrowing the idea of personal confidence in a peaceful and fulfilling future. Our world decries the effects of these social maladies, but few people are willing to look at the causes. Broken marriages are harming adults and children, creating a self fulfilling prophecy of a future which is more fragmented. Affairs within marriages, and children who wind up living in the emotional vacuum created by the absence of one of their biological parents, also add to the corporate social strain. Like a car engine running at the higher ends of its design specifications for too long, under too heavy a load, people individually and society at large are feeling the results of a lack of social harmony, and increased emotional vulnerability. If these elements are the effects of a society in emotional decline, what are the causes What elements and activities, over which individuals have control and can bring about change, are at the epicenter of the emotional and social decline which is affecting out culture I believe one of the most significant widespread behaviors which contribute to the emotional and social turmoil of our time is that of engaging in sexual and physical intimacy outside of a marriage. Marriage is a socially stabilizing behavior. Marriage brings with it planned permanency of a relationship. Thus the two individuals can expect to have confidence that the vulnerability exposed during sexual relationship will be protected by the other person's commitment to the relationship, and to their partner. Within this protective encasement, the two can become more than the sum of their parts. They have the freedom and hopefully encouragement to grow, and experience something they would never have experienced on their own. Acceptance, unity, intimacy and peace with another unique, loving and protective individual. The two can become one, and their oneness gives birth to new possibilities, hopes, dreams, and eventually children. From these general observations, I would like to present 4 specific arguments in favor of a societal shift which would move sexual intimacy out of the public marketplace, and back behind the emotionally secure doors of traditional marriage. Sexual activity occurs before individuals are emotionally prepared, or physically ready for the consequences. Children are exposed earlier and earlier to information regarding sexual activity. According to Bob Caylor of the Fort Wayne News Sentinel, their local public school curriculum includes the following information at the specified ages. The state's academic standards for what knowledge students of various ages should be able to demonstrate about health include: Seventh-graders should be able to explain that sexual behaviors can result in pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV. Ninth-graders should be able to explain how sexual behaviors can lead to sexually transmitted diseases that can damage the reproductive ability Ninth-graders should also demonstrate how to show respect for the sexual limits of others. (Caylor, 2006) At what point did middle school age children attain a level of emotional maturity to understand that a sexual disease might damage their health for an entire lifetime The most important thing to most middle schoolers is the emergence of acne. A person at this age, while physically able to engage in a sexual act, is not emotionally or psychologically ready for sexual activity, and the consequences. Sexual activity among younger children is becoming increasingly against the desires of their parents / guardians In El Socorro Co, New Mexico, public school sexual education has reached into 3rd and 4th grades. According to Argen Duncan, many parents are there unhappy with the state sex education performance standards, which require students to know proper terminology of body parts starting in kindergarten. Duncan reports one parent as saying "I think that's a little young . . . It can take away children's modesty." (Caylor, 2006) If our society was still committed to the belief that sexual activity should remain within the confines of marriage, this level of sexual education would not have to be thrust upon the youngest and most impressionable of our society. Sexual behavior would be reserved for individuals after they were mature enough to make a lifetime commitment to another person, thus giving meaning to the sexual intimacy they experience. This realization is finally beginning to draw attention, if only minimally, from those who are responsible for leading our national social initiatives. According to Gill (2006) in 1996, Congress passed new legislation which included "$250 million dollars over five years for state initiatives promoting sexual abstinence outside of marriage as the only acceptable standard of behavior for young people . . . Beneficiaries included faith-based groups as well as other private organizations like for the purpose of delivering abstinence-only programs." Programs such as these are having a positive effect on the emotional and social well being of students and those not ready for sexual behaviors. Many individuals see the abstinence message as only a thinly veiled attempt to promote religious doctrine under the guise of federally funded health programs. The 'Silver Ring Thing' abstinence program on Colorado Springs, Co is taking fire for just this reason. The Silver Ring Thing promotes abstinence and sexual purity among teens by encouraging them to make a public vow, and wear a silver ring signifying their decision. Recently, this program, which makes no apologies for mixing their abstinence message with Christian ethics, had its federal funding pulled. According to Kohoutek, the organization has its federal ties severed after receiving over $1 million dollars funding over three years. Colorado spokes woman Katie Groke say's this about the Silver Ring Thing's purpose and message. "Only medically accurate, age-appropriate, comprehensive sex education allows for responsible decision-making. . . Politicians and the government should not deny teens the information they need to protect themselves, and information their parents would probably want them to know. (Including abstinence based information)" (Kohoutek, 2006) Unfortunately, this message and the organizations which want to see balanced and complete sexual education in our schools has become the target of socialist organizations, such as the ACLU. According to Henry (2006) a similar message was recently banned from public schools in Rhode Island. The message was too close to religious ethics for those who prefer an amoral, socialist agenda to be the dominant influence in our modern culture. Opposition to moral and responsible behavior is immoral and irresponsible. Those who promote increasingly wider sexual education often buttress their position with the statement 'these children will engage in sexual behaviors anyway. Therefore we need to give them information and instruction on how to do so safely." I wonder if these same people would say of murder "people are going to kill other people anyways. Therefore we should give all individuals, beginning ay young ages, information and tools to help them kill others safely, and with minimal risk to themselves." Or "people are going to steal, therefore we should teach children in elementary school how to avoid detection, shoplift and break into homes without getting caught." The irresponsibility of these latter messages is no less reckless than giving middle school age children information and encouragement on how to engage in sexual behaviors about which they are not socially, emotionally, or psychologically ready. As a culture and society, we should be willing to teach individuals that some things should be waited for. As a people, we should be able to put the wellbeing of another ahead of our own selfish desire to seek pleasure. Then we would again move toward a culture which honored vows, and respected other individual's health and wellbeing as at least as important as our own. Works Cited Caylor, Bob. ( 2006, March 29) End the confusion. Indiana law is clear: Teaching abstinence is the foundation of sex education. Fort Wayne News Sentinel. Retrieved from: http://www.fortwayne.com/mld/newssentinel/14213878.htm Duncan, Argen. (2006, April 1) Parents want more modesty when teaching sex education. El Defensor Chieftain. El Socorro County, New Mexico. Retrieved from: http://www.dchieftain.com/news/60459-04-01-06.html Gill, Kathy. (2006) The Politics of Sex (and Sex-Ed) in America. About.com. Retrieved from: http://uspolitics.about.com/b/a/207666.htm Henry, Ray. (2006, March 22). Rhode Island bans private group's abstinence program. Boston.com news Retrieved from: http://www.boston.com/news/local/rhode_island/articles/2006/03/22/rhode_island_bans_private_groups_abstinence_program/ Kohoutek, Bethany.(2006, March 30) Ring around the law: Abstinence program found to violate separation of church and state Colorado Springs Independent. 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