Homosexuality In Children - Research Paper Example

? Homosexuality in Children Homosexuality is a phenomenon, which has always existed in our society. People with different sexual orientation have always existed and will exist for sure. However, the studies and researches of this particular phenomenon started to be held not very long ago due to the fact that in the past such individuals were severely judged. It does not mean that they feel comfortable in the modern society as they are still judged, abused and their orientation is considered to be blameworthy. Even in the most developed countries people still suffer discrimination. Due to the studies held, now everybody knows that homosexuality can’t be cured and it is impossible to correct the sexual orientation of such people as they are homosexuals from the birth and start realizing it already in childhood. The given paper will discuss homosexuality in children, its signs, and define the main steps parent should make to help their child to succeed in life. Psychological studies proved that if homosexuals try to take their own state for granted, they will be able to resist the discrimination in all its manifestations (Hope, 2009). In the modern society, where homosexuality is not a secret any more, many parents look for the answer to the question, what they would do if their child appears to be homosexual. They are usually afraid of this fact, so many of them trace their children’s behavior carefully in order to notice disturbing signs or on the contrary calm themselves down realizing that their child is not a homosexual. Many parents and other relatives are so much concerned about the issue that tend to raise an alarm without any serious reason. According to Bering, “there are signs, some would say omens, glimmering in certain children’s demeanors that, probably ever since there were children, have caused parents’ brows to crinkle with worry, precipitated forced conversations with nosy mothers-in-law, strained marriages and ushered untold numbers into the deep covenant of sexual denial” (Bering, 2010). It is essential to consider what signs parents can notice. For example, they can see their little son choosing pink T-shirt because he likes pink color. Some parents can just encourage him to do what he wants, if he is still a little boy. It is not right to think that pink color is the color of homosexuals, however, in this situation, it would be proper to explain to the boy that his friends may not understand him correctly and he may have a conflict. So, it would be better for him to choose another color (Minton, 1986). Besides dressing preferences, there are also other signs, which can make parents worry. For instance, girls may like to play boy’s games and boys may like playing with dolls. The question is if such behaviors can be treated as signs of different sexual orientation. In psychology it is called “gender nonconformity”. John Michael Bailey held the corresponding research of this issue and came to the conclusion that if such behavior happens very often, it may be a sign of wrong sexual orientation. He states: "if they do it over and over, it's not a passing thing, and if they seek it out, then it's often predictive of homosexuality in adulthood in males" (Bailey). It is interesting that girls, who tend to behave like boys, do not usually risk to become lesbians in the adulthood. Moreover, sexuality of women can be more flexible and they are not often judged for wrong preferences. Men suffer from the wrong orientation much more while experts insist that the orientation is not dangerous and should be taken for granted: “we are suggesting… that we have allowed the homosexual’s obeject choice to dominate and control our imagery of him and have let this aspect of his total life experience appear to determine all his product, concerns, with the sexuality of the individual and attempt to see the homosexuals in terms of the broader attachments that he must make in the world around him” (Simon and Garnon, 1967 cited in Whitam 1977). Parents also may treat their children differently, some of them, especially those who have several children, joke about the possibility of one of their children to be homosexual. However, the majority still do not consider this fact to be very funny. Whitman argues: “then we arrive at the most important question of all. Why do parents worry so much about whether their child may or may not be gay? You might not be one of these fretful parents—in fact you might like to see yourself as being indifferent to your child’s sexuality so long as he or she is happy. I don’t suppose this is entirely untrue for many. Then again, all else being equal, I suspect we’d be hard-pressed to find parents that would actually prefer their offspring to be homosexual rather than heterosexual” (Whitam, 1977). People may treat gays with respect and have good friends with such orientation, but they are usually shocked when they find out that there are homosexuals among their relatives, especially if they are their children. Parents are usually afraid that their children may suffer from discrimination and will not be able to realize their abilities and gain any success (Bindel, 2009). And the most widespread fear is the prospect to remain without grandchildren as the child simply will not be able to present the parents with them: “it’s also important to stress that since genetic success is weighed in evolutionary biological terms as the relative percentage of one’s genes that carry over into subsequent generations—rather than simply number of offspring per se—there are other, though typically less profitable, ways for your child to contribute to your overall genetic success than humdrum sexual reproduction” (Whitam, 1977)/ Really, even in the modern society wrong sexual orientation may create many difficulties for homosexuals. They still may face many prejudices as people may prefer to avoid the communication with them due to different reasons such as fear to be infected with some disease or religious beliefs as many consider homosexuality to be a sin. There is no need to mention that homosexuals, especially children risk to suffer from aggression, which is expressed by their coevals that is usually expresses during teenage period, when children are 12-18 years old (Cabaj, p421). When children realize that they have wrong sexual orientation, it may be also a shock for them. They may conceal the problem. Thus, it is really important for parents to notice this as early as it is possible in order to provide their child with necessary support. It is very important for parents not to deny their children and not to criticize them. Such critics can turn into fatal mistake as it could deprive homosexuals of the most important understanding they can get – the understanding of their parents. Bailey explains: "what parents can do, however, is make their kids happy or miserable -- they have that ability. A gay kid whose parents think there's something wrong with him, that tends to be a miserable kid" (Bailey). First of all parents should understand that their child can’t change into the one with normal sexual orientation. However, they also should not treat such diagnosis as a sentence. It is necessary parents should make their children understand that they would love them anyway. And if the child feels the support from the side of the parents, it will be easier for him to cope with multiple difficulties he/she may meet in life. Parents should encourage homosexuals not to become isolated from the society, but to take their state for granted so that not to provoke aggression from the side of other children. Children with wrong sexual orientation should feel support at home first of all. They should know that there is a place where they will always find understanding and kindness. Homosexuality is a phenomenon that is given to many of us by nature. Homosexuals should not be accused of their peculiarity, but they are still severely judged by the society. Notwithstanding that the society try to eliminate them, they will still exist and many of them are very gifted and wonderful people, who unfortunately suffer severe discrimination since the childhood. The question is how we can help such people to survive. Researchers are sure that parents play a very important role in the life of homosexuals. It is essential for them to get to know about sexual orientation of their children on time and provide them with necessary support. Children should understand that they are not miserable, they are as good as others, but just a bit different. If homosexuals understand this from their childhood, they will be able to resist the prejudices and evil, which still exist in our so highly developed society. References Bailey J. M., Zucker K. J. (1995). "Childhood sex-typed behavior and sexual orientation: A conceptual analysis and quantitative review". Developmental Psychology 31: 43–55. Bindel, Julie (2009-01-30). "My sexual revolution". The Guardian (London). Cabaj, R; Stein, T. eds. Textbook of Homosexuality and Mental Health, p. 421 Harford, Tim (1 October 2010). "More or Less examines Office for National Statistics figures on gay, lesbian and bisexual people Hope, Debra A, ed. (2009). Contemporary Perspectives on Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Identities. Nebraska Symposium on Motivation 54 Minton, H. L. (1986). Femininity in men and masculinity in women: American psychiatry and psychology portray homosexuality in the 1930s, Journal of Homosexuality, 13(1), 1–21 Whitam, Frederick L. Childhood Indicators of Male Homosexuallity. Archives of Sexual Behavior, Vol.6,No. 2, 1977. Read More