The Effects of Divorce on the Community - Essay Example

? [Teacher’s Families and marriages Due to the current divorce rates, more people are aware of its negative attributes. Not only are the partners affected by divorce, but the children also have to go through a great amount of psychological trauma. The children have to go through the emotional stress of living with only one parent. However, experts have established the fact that it is healthier for children to live with a single parent than with two parents who are in constant argument, abuse and conflict. Studies have also certified the fact that bad marriages are not the best solutions and under the appropriate circumstances, divorce is in the best interest of the children (Cowan and Hetherington, 2013). Despite the support for divorce, studies have also shown that the process itself has some effects on the children and the partners (Amato, Kane and James, 2011, 511-524). Studies on the effects of divorce have been mainly centered on the first weeks, months and years after divorce as these are the hardest for the children. (Cowan and Hetherington, 2013). However, there are also long term effects that have received less attention from sociologists and psychologists. The long term effects of divorce include the perception that the children will have on marriage, men or women and other related subjects (Amato, Kane and James, 2011, 511-524). This paper will analyze the effects of divorce and how it has affected the community psychologically. Despite the moral values in society, divorce is a reality and affects more than two in every five children. The average length of marriages in the United States is approximately 11 years (Amato, Kane and James, 2011, 511-524). In addition, 90% of all divorces are settled outside the judicial system. In reality, divorce is a more complicated procedure than it appears. Unlike the one time court event divorce is portrayed to be, the fact is that divorce is a process and occurs in different phases. It is a culmination of different behaviors and events on behalf of either of the partners that leads to the decision of ending the marriage (Feijten and Mudler, 2010, 175-193). After the divorce, the couple along with all the close family members experiences several changes in their lives. Divorce has been classified by some experts as a process consisting of six stages. The emotional phase of divorce is centered on the effects and the emotional experiences of the spouses and children due to the deteriorating marriage. This phase is usually the first phase of divorce, and is characterized by the replacement of feelings of affection and love by hate, anger, dislike, frustration and the thoughts that all the positive attributes of the marriage are no longer present. In addition, the qualities that attracted the two individuals together are no longer important as they can only see the negatives. Children also have to go through the emotional trauma of a loveless family which is characterized by arguments and conflicts. This has led to the development of aggressive behavior or withdrawal among children from such families. These children also have a problem with communication and making friends as they feel there is no love in the world and that they are alone. This phase can also lead to suicide attempts and violent crimes. The next stage is the legal stage which involves the necessity of an adequate reason for divorce and the signing of legal documents certifying that the two families are legally separated (Feijten and Mudler, 2010, 175-193). This phase affects the children in the sense that they have to go the realization that their parents are no longer together and they have to live with one parent at a time. The economic phase of divorce is also important as necessary funding is required for taking care of the children. In some families only one partner might be the breadwinner and children have ton go through the trouble of adjusting to different economic settings (Feijten and Mudler, 2010, 175-193). This could prove to be difficult in families which were once rich and the children are not familiar with living under poor conditions. Another stage of divorce is the co parental phase, where couples have to determine who has custody over the children. This is very difficult for children as they are put in the middle of an emotional war and are forced to choose between two parents. They also have to constantly move from one place to another during visitations (Kim, 2013, 39-63). In addition, if either of the parents remarries the child has to see his or her parent happy with another individual that is not his mother or father. There might also be children from the new spouse and the child might feel as if he or she is being replaced. This phase of divorce occurs different depending on the family (Feijten and Mudler, 2010, 175-193). The community stage n divorce involves the children having to settle in different communities and families. They might also have to leave their old life and friends behind and adjust into new schools and make new friends. The sixth stage of divorce is the psychic stage which involves the parents and the children having to adjust to the new situation and the fact that each spouse will now be living alone (Kim, 2013, 39-63). The children have to adjust to living with a single parent. The time frame for each of these phases may range from weeks to years. The next section of paper will focus more on the children’s perception of divorce. Children’s attitude towards divorce is greatly determined by their gender, age, and social status (Kim, 2013, 39-63). In addition, a child’s coping mechanisms and stress levels also determine how he or she will handle this painful process. External factors also determine how the child will handle the situation. These factors can be unalterable and exert pressure on children. Prominent risk factors include gender, as boys are more likely to be negatively affected. This is due to the fact that mothers often have custody of the children; therefore, they often grow up without a parent of the same sex, who can help them in different situations (Lansford, 2009, 140-152). In essence, the absence of a male role model makes the adjustment process in divorce difficult. Age is also another risk factor for maladjustment to divorce. Young children are often less mature and therefore confused by the situation. They are incapable of fully understanding the reason for divorce and are often emotionally traumatized by the event. Adolescents and older children are at risk of the long term negative effects of divorce (Lansford, 2009, 140-152). This is due to the support they receive from their friends at the moment of divorce, which helps them suppress the psychological trauma they are experiencing. However, in the future the impact of divorce is likely to weigh its toll on these individuals as they are likely to have a different perspective on marriage. As mentioned above, socioeconomic status of the family greatly affects the children as divorce changes this aspect of the child’s life. In addition, the children might live with a parent with less money which means that the needs of the child will not be met and he or she might resort to stealing in order to get the things he or she wants. In summation, the short term effects of divorce on children include depression, anger, opposition, sadness, non compliance, aggression, life stress, impulsivity, economic hardships, less parental supervision, economic hardship, lower academic achievement, lower self esteem, acting out and increased dependency. These short term effects often manifest into long term problems and affect the development of the child. Parents may however improve the divorce process by resolving their issues with their former partner and reducing open conflict. All parents must also maintain a relationship with their child and try to reduce the angry and depressive behavior among the children (Feijten and Mudler, 2010, 175-193). When divorce is inevitable, the parents should make it their goal to make the best possible environment for the children. Firstly, parents can talk to their children and educate them on the current situation and give them love and undivided attention. In addition, they should improve their communication with their children, be there for support, and assist the children in dealing with their anxiety, blame and confusion (Rankin and McIntosh, 2013). There are some specific things that parents can do such as letting the children know they are loved and always remember that they obligations to their first family and not neglect these responsibilities after they start their second family (Kim, 2013, 39-63). In summation, divorce is a long painful process for children that demands support as its effects can be long term and can disrupt a child’s development. Studies have also shown that the majority of children who come from divorced family are more likely to be divorced. They are also reserved and if the appropriate support is not given they can display violence, commit suicide or withdraw themselves from society. After the divorce has been finalized, the parents should try to resolve all issues they previously had in their marriage for the sake of their children. They should also try to ensure that the new people they bring into their lives are a good influence on their children. If all these conditions are met the divorce will be less painful for the children. However, parents should also try to understand that divorce is likely to have some negative effects on the children and their goal is to try and reduce them. Works Cited Amato, Paul R., Jennifer B. Kane, and Spencer James. "Reconsidering the “Good Divorce”." Family relations 60.5 (2011): 511-524. Cowan, Philip A., and E. Mavis Hetherington, eds. Family transitions. Routledge, 2013. Feijten, Peteke, and Clara H. Mulder. "Gender, divorce and housing–a life course perspective." Wohnen und Gender. VS Verlag fur Sozialwissenschaften, 2010. 175-193. Kim, Gina. "The Demography of Families." Handbook of Marriage and the Family. Springer US, 2013. 39-63. Lansford, Jennifer E. "Parental divorce and children's adjustment." Perspectives on Psychological Science 4.2 (2009): 140-152. Rankin, Nicole, and Kayla McIntosh. "The Affects Divorce Has on Children." (2013). Read More