Divorce's Impact on Children - Assignment Example

Divorce's Impact on Children Divorce that entails separation of parents or couples due to certain unresolved disagreements is a universal social phenomenon. Every society across the world has experienced and handled divorce cases. Divorce can occur due many reasons such as recurrent conflicts that may either involve repeated physical abuse of one partner, unending quarrels and discrimination against partners or even scramble for control of family resources and finances by individual partners. Besides leading to sad degradation of already started family, divorce also has the impact of causing psychological and physical problems to children of the affected family (Carr, 2012). As reported by Kail and Cavanaugh (2013), the contemporary North America has witnessed escalation in divorce cases. Kail and Cavanaugh (2013) confirm that studies on the effects of divorces have proved that divorce has negative impacts on the general health of children. While referring to hundreds of studies conducted on divorce in America and covering preschool and college-age children, Kail and Cavanaugh (2013) clarify that children in divorced families fared poorly in school achievement, self-concept, conduct and parent-child relationship. The magnitude or severity of the impacts of divorce on children usually varies with age of the individual affected children. This is true considering the variation in emotional and stress management skills across the different ages as children grow. Even though familiar within societies, divorces are reducible and avoidable through effective and timely counseling of the threatened families. In the same manner, it is possible to reduce effects and severity of divorce on children and the affected partners to ensure healthy and peaceful continuity. Effects of Divorce on Preschoolers Divorce affects preschoolers, school age and adolescent students in different ways. Preschoolers are children between 2 and 6 years old. With consideration to Cognitive Development Theory, children with the age bracket are usually in the preoperational stage where they explore and learn many things within the environment (Carr, 2012). Children in this stage require significant attachment to the parents to provide security and protection as they explore new things. Much of the experiences gained at this stage of development tend to stick and last longer in the brain of the child. In that line, negative experiences as divorce or even the events preceding divorce are likely to hurt psychological development of a child. A child who sees the parents fighting every day before divorce is likely to suffer from sadness and somberness. Separation of parents may also affect the attachment relationship that a child might have developed with one of the parents. For instance, a male preschooler child may have strong attachment to the father than mother. In the case of separation, court or the couple decide that the child be in custody of the mother to receive better care. This can compromise psychological and socio-emotional development of such a child. In the same manner, a female child might also have stronger attachment to the mother than to the father (Kail & Cavanaugh, 2013). Leaving such a child under the custody of the father may affect their confidence and courage that may in turn result to social withdrawal. Effects of Divorce on School Age According to Kail and Cavanaugh (2013), school age is a category of children between 6 and 12 years. It is within the age bracket that Cognitive Development Theory of Jean Piaget classifies children under the Concrete Operational Stage. Children have great urge to explore and learn many things that happen within their surroundings. The level and rate at which children interact and form friendships is usually high. At this age, children become aware of their sexes and genders, and girls tend to be closer to mothers while boys move closer to fathers. Children gain the understanding that it is easier to associate closely with a parent of same sex than with the other of opposite sex (Kail & Cavanaugh, 2013). From the analysis of aspects of school age children, it is clear that divorce can have serious and detrimental effects on social emotional and relational skills of the children. To begin with, divorce works to isolate a child from one of the parents. In cases where divorce leaves a child with a parent of the opposite sex, the child will miss a confidant with whom to share physiological and sex related problems. When unable to disclose to a parent, the child may consult outside source that might provide misleading information. Divorce of parents of a school age child may also affect social and academic power of a child (Kail & Cavanaugh, 2013). Socially, divorced school age children might face discrimination, embarrassments and teasing from their colleagues with both parents. Such occurrences may be frustrating and contemptuous to an extent of making a victim child to withdraw socially or develop violent tactics to counter any hurtful comments from friends and peers. The embarrassment coupled with pains of separating from an otherwise loving parent, may cause depression to a school age child and result to retarded academic performance. Effects of Divorce on Adolescent As clarified by Kail and Cavanaugh (2013), the adolescence stage begins to occur when a child attains 12 years and ends at around 18 years. The aspects of this age bracket are synonymous those of Formal Operation Stage detailed under the Cognitive Development Theory. Children at this age reason more deductively and logically. Problem solving skills improve and children are unlikely to engage in violence or wars as way of solving their problems. Even though adolescents are mature and view things from better perspectives than school age children view, divorce of parents can still result to serious impacts. To begin with, adolescents whose divorced parents employed are likely to use their situation as moment to enjoy freedom. Consequently, the initially confined adolescent may begin to indulge in acts that are immoral and socialize with people of questionable conducts (Brooks & Good, 2001). Such children may resolve to trying and eventually becoming addicted to drugs and related substance. Psychologically, drug and related substances have the ability to cause depression, social withdrawal, violence and recklessness that may eventually compromise social emotional skills of the affected adolescent children. For adolescents whose divorced parents employed permissive parenting style, divorce leading to separation from a close and tolerant parent may expose the child to social relational challenges and trauma. This is because the child having been used to unpunished immoral acts may continue with such acts in an environment that is intolerant and quickly punishes undesired conducts (Cox & Klinger, 2004). When subjected to corrective and punitive situations, the affected child may begin to view the world as suppressing and unfair. This can result to serious trauma, depression, violence and even reckless decision-making skills. Measures To Reduce Divorce and Suffering of Children Most divorces occur due to disagreements between couples on family issues. Bearing the severe effects of divorce on the entire family, it is noble for societies and international community to set measures to reduce its occurrence. One of the ways that psychologists can help reduce divorce rates is by encouraging development and introduction of school syllabus that emphasize the need for long term dating to enable lovers know each other adequately before resolving to start a family (Cox & Klinger, 2004). Psychologists and family counselors can also use media and public conferences to sensitize people about the undesirable effects of divorce and ways to reduce or avoid occurrence of divorce. Regarding control of the effects of divorce on children, psychologists and counselors should collaborate with legislators and legal bodies to form laws that allow divorce but support or encourage continued collaboration of parents in the rearing of a child or children. Professional View of Supporting Divorce Victims Professional counselors bear the burden of leading victims of divorce to overcome their problems. A professional counselor dealing with victims of divorce may advocate that divorced couples continue to exercise active parenting of their child to help the latter grow upright and as per the moral desires of the parents. A professional counselor may also send a child victim of divorce to rehabilitation center for continuous monitoring and guidance on stress management skills. A professional counselor may also initiated a forum for the divorcing parents to explain to their children reasons for divorce and in the process reassure about continued care and attachment. Professional counselors should also urge separated parents to avoid counteraccusations in front of children, and solve their problems without involving the victim children. References Brooks, G. R., & Good, G. E. (2001). The New Handbook of Psychotherapy and Counseling with Men: A Comprehensive Guide to Settings, Problems, and Treatment Approaches. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass. Carr, A. (2012). Family Therapy: Concepts, Process, and Practice. Chichester, West Sussex, UK: John Wiley & Sons. Cox, W., & Klinger, E. (2004). Handbook of Motivational Counseling: Concepts, Approaches, and Assessment. Chichester, West Sussex, UK: John Wiley & Sons. Kail, R. & Cavanaugh, J. (2013). Human Development: A Life-Span View. (6th ed.). Belmont, CA: Cengage Learning. Ungar, M. (2011). Counseling in Challenging Contexts: Working With Individuals and Families Across Clinical and Community Settings. Belmont, CA: Cengage Learning. Read More