Abuse in the Relationships - Essay Example

Research Paper There are so many terms that are used to describe the relationship where one partner is domineered bythe other. Domestic abuse is very common in so many homes. The homes report the various forms that domestic abuse manifests itself. The four broad categories include physical, emotional, sexual and financial abuse. They all work hand in hand at destroying the psychology of the person being abused. There are very many factors that have contributed to the growth of domestic abuse all over the world. They include stressful situations, substance abuse and many psychological disturbances experienced by the abuser. What is clear is that domestic abuse affects both male and females in any union (Dutton, p 12). For the longest time, males were abused in their relationships. They kept silent because of the stigma that was associated with their abuse. There are currently many forums that have been set up to understand what causes this form of abuse irrespective of gender. Sexual abuse includes rape, incest and other forms where one person is coerced in sexual acts that he or she does not consent to. Physical abuse includes aspects of physical harm inflicted on the victim. This is with the sole aim of introducing fear and pain on the victim. Emotional abuse thrives on the mental abuse that is afflicted on a victim. It ranges from making them feel like they are not good enough by battering their self esteem. All forms of domestic abuse are dangerous. Evidence shows that there is a reason as to why abusers abuse. This is because they have the ability to, and they have people to dominate. Physical abuse is very dominant in marriages. The number of women battered in marriages continues to grow every year. This is as a result of the inadequate action taken in terms of previous statistics and their results (Hampton, p 19). Over the years there has been a worrying trend where women stay in abusive relationships. This is as a result of many issues that psychologists say will take a very long time to deal with. Some women stay in abusive relationships because they see nothing wrong with the habit. Others do not have the ability to move on with their lives because of the limited finances and others because of children. What is clear is that there are very many women in nations all over the world that see physical abuse as normal. Most of the Islamic nations and their women find nothing wrong with physical abuse. Close to 90 % of the women battered in the last three years are quoted saying that they expected to be physically abused at some point. This is because it is an everyday occurrence and they are used to it (Hampton, p 19-22). Others say that they deserved what they got. This is because of their certain actions. The women in question reside in states, for example, Egypt, Iraq, Iran and Saudi Arabia amongst many others (Hampton, p 23). Others in states, for example, the United States, Russia, and Australia amongst many others stay in abusive relationships because of lack of a definite choice. This is because they feel tied down to their spouses in one way or the other. Many states have changed their general perception on the issue. These are the states that have put in place mechanisms to deal with the issue of domestic abuse. Questions have been raised about how much a victim can take (Dutton, p 26). Barbara Sheehan had been domestically abused for a very long time. One day as she was fighting with her husband, who is a cop, she picked up a gun and shot him. This shot killed the man instantly. She was arrested, and at the time of her arrest, she was observed as very calm and never resisting arrest. She faced a trial chamber to face the outright accusations of murder. After many sittings in court, Barbara was released from custody. She was found not guilty on charges of murder (Dutton, p 37). The reason for the acquittal was given that, for very many years, she had been battered. It was about time before she snapped and defended herself. The pain and humiliation felt for so many years forms the basis for the battered woman syndrome (Dutton, p 41). This syndrome creates loop holes on observation. This is with the knowledge that, after so many years of being abused, a victim is bound to retaliate. In most cases, the retaliation is usually fatal. The case of Barbara can be understood from a sociological perspective. Once a victim has gone through any form of trauma, there is a lot of behavioral changed experienced. This means that if they have faced physical abuse for a very longtime, one day they will defend themselves. This is with the aim of ensuring that their oppressors have the knowledge that they can defend themselves. This is the sole reason as to why victims arise and defend themselves. In many cases, once the victims have defended themselves the pattern of abuse ends with them. In other cases, the cycle of abuse continues after the victims have defended themselves from their aggressors (Hampton, p 56). This is because they now feel that they have the capacity to stand firm and inflict the pain that they experienced. This is how the cycle of domestic violence never ends. There is a need to ensure that all those that have experienced abuse have undergone counselling. This is because it is the only healing that will ensure that they understand their circumstances. Once they have, they will ensure that they have the ability to stop domestic violence. The issue of domestic violence makes me to be very sad. This is because I believe that the varied strengths possessed by each person should be put to good use. Each and every situation will create varied feelings and reactions. It is necessary to ensure that there are better and effective channels of handling dissent and disagreements. There are so many lives that have been changed as a result of domestic violence. In the case where the father assaults the mother, the children are affected. This is because they get to witness actions that will be detrimental for their future growth. This will give rise to future batterers or victims (Hampton, p 67). This will be pegged on the fact that if dad did it, then it must be okay. There are very many mediums that encourage communication and understanding. People who have grown up in homes that represented a vicious cycle of domestic violence have to get the help that they need. In conclusion, it is evident that the society has very many pressures and expectations. This should be handled in all the right ways. This is because there are tendencies that they will blow up into something that they are not meant to be. It is crucial to treat victims of domestic violence with the care that they deserve. This is to reduce the effects of the trauma that they experienced. It is also very important, for country’s to have effective legislations. The set legislations will have the ability to cater for offenders. This is because many violators bask under the few years of sentencing and limited fines. The punishment should be so severe that any person who is tempted to commit such a crime is deterred from doing so. This is the only way that the statistics that are witnessed all over the world in respect to domestic violence would be reduced (Dutton, p 91). The many women all over the world that think domestic violence should be tolerated need education. This is basic education on rights and privileges of each and every person. They should be made to understand that, despite the fact that they are true to their religion, it should have limits. Religion should protect them and their rights (Hampton, p 72). Works Cited Dutton, D. G. Rethinking Domestic Violence. Canada: UBC Press, 2006. Hampton, R. L., Gullota, T. P., & Ramos, J. M. Interpersonal Violence in the African American Community: Evidence Based Prevention and Treatment Practices. New York: Springer Press, 2006. Appendix 1 http://www.newser.com/story/130391/jury-in-murder-case-accepts-battered-wife-defense.html Murder Case Jury Accepts Battered-Wife Defense BARBARA SHEEHAN ACQUITTED AFTER KILLING HER HUSBAND By John Johnson,  Newser Staff Posted Oct 6, 2011 6:37 PM CDT STORY   COMMENTS (25) (NEWSER) – A Queens woman has been acquitted of murder in a case the New York Times describes as a key test of the battered-woman defense. Barbara Sheehan admitted that she shot her husband to death in 2008. But she testified that she suffered such relentless abuse from the retired NYPD cop that she feared it was only a matter of time before he killed her first. The jury cleared her of murder charges but convicted her of a lesser gun possession charge. Sheehan's supporters in the courtroom, dressed in purple as a nod to victims of domestic violence, erupted into cheers when the verdict was announced. Prosecutors had described the 50-year-old Sheehan as a liar bent on collecting life insurance, notes the Daily News. The victim's twin brother called it a "bad verdict," adding, "This is the system and you've got to live with it." Ads by Google Art Museum of Chianciano www.museodarte.org Applications are open for the International Award in Tuscany Death Interrupted Brokentrophy.tvA New Comedy Available OnDemand. Watch it now for $ .99 Read More