Expressing Feelings Verbally and Nonverbally - Essay Example

Student Name Class Time Assessment Title Expressing Feelings Verbally and Nonverbally Executive summary Verbal communication and nonverbal communication are major aspects in the interaction in human species (Fussell 2002). I have encountered various instances that have made me improve my verbal and nonverbal communication. Such instances involve solving conflicts between people, communication with parents and colleges. My excellent communication skills arose from the ability to not just read the body language of listeners, but also reading my own body language. Attributes of effective verbal communication include; maintaining solid contact and use of gestures (Fussell 2002). I believe that conflict resolution is largely affected by lack of effective communication. In order to settle resolution effectively, there should always be effective verbal and nonverbal communication between the conflicting groups (Burgoon et al 2010). At times, nonverbal communication may be misinterpreted because they vary in respect to different cultures (Goman 2008). There are many hindrances of effective communication that include; culture diversity and lack of clarity by the communicating individual (Lansford 2008).These barriers are not difficult to handle. This paper seeks to discuss both the verbal and nonverbal communication in respect to my personal experiences. Conflict resolution is a major problem in the current society. Additionally, I will address how effective communication and communication attributes contributes to successful conflict management and listening skills. Introduction There has been a poor relationship between me and my father which results from poor communication. In order to solve the conflicts between us, proper communication and conflict management is necessary. Verbal communication refers to the process of passing ideas, or emotions by the mouth. It is most common face-to-face communication method. Key aspects include; language, talking, and noise. Nonverbal communication is the act of communicating by use of signs and involves wordless signals (Druckman 2006). Nonverbal communication includes tone, feel, remoteness, and outward show. This means that in order to improve conflict management, one should be able to understand the feelings and emotions of another, which is an important aspect in nonverbal communication (Lansford, 2008). Verbal and nonverbal communication has shaped my interaction with people at professional level and interpersonal relations. Also, it has positively affected my monetary and individual achievements, as well as bodily and emotional well-being (Goman 2008). Discussion Verbal Communication Verbal communication has been very essential in my life as it gives room for giving and clarifying information that cannot possibly be otherwise conveyed (Druckman 2006). It has enabled me to generate many relations, enhances creativeness, ideas, and gives room for debate. I have used verbal communication to notify, majorly to communicate to my parents about my requirements, and to convey knowledge to my younger siblings. In an instance where I resolved a conflict between my fellow students in college, verbal communication was vital in explaining to one of the parties why she was wrong. Such explanations may be difficult to make by use nonverbal communication. In most cases, if we fail to express ourselves undoubtedly, the words we speak may be misinterpreted (Burgoon et al 2010). Verbal communication has proved essential in the clarification of negative perception and ideas about certain individuals and offers provision of omitted information. I have used verbal communication to rectify a wrong both is college and at home. For example, I have been able to remain calm and alert whenever I was on the wrong and whenever I am annoyed in order to cool my emotions. Telling someone ‘sorry’ has proved to be more effective than any act (Burgoon et al 2010). When one hears the words ‘am sorry’ he or she feel relived knowing that the other person is sensitive to their feelings and emotions. Most are the times I wrong my parents and my friends, verbal communication has been very effective in making of apologies. Verbal communication is a tool of persuasion. Persuading a friend or colleague to provide me with a certain favor is also enhanced through verbal communication (Jonathan 2003). Verbal communication generates a chance to engage is a fruitful discussion that leads to better understanding between conflicting parties. Debates are very important in exchange of ideas and for improvement of one’s levels of expression (Lansford 2008). As I get involved in various debates, I am able to stimulate my thoughts and creativity level. According to (Burgoon et al 2010), verbal communication strengthens existing relationships and creates new ones. I have been able to make new relationships with people I meet on my day to day activities. This has enabled me to improve on my interpersonal communication since I have been able to learn the value of friendship and excellent communication (Esposito 2007). Also, the excellence of the social life is dependent on the capability to communicate effectively (Burgoon et al 2010). Attributes of effective verbal communication There are various attributes of effective verbal communication. Positive body language is the key factor in establishing a relationship with the listeners. Eye contact has also proved effective to me and gesture use. Other attributes include; passionate hand gestures and a smiling face depending on the topic being discussed (Lansford 2008). Also, I believe nodding my head occasionally while communicating is a show of confidence and keenness in the message I am delivering. I have experienced instances where some presenters turn their back to the audience to glance at their slides or other visual objects (Burgoon et al 2010). According to Burgoon et al (2010), the position and posture of an individual can be used to determine whether an individual is listening attentively or not listening. Nonverbal communication As we interact with other people, we constantly present and get wordless signals. Such gestures include how we take a seat, how quickly or loud we speak the standing posture, and the level of our solid eye contact. When silent, verbal communication is still on. In most cases, what people communicate verbally, and what is portrayed via body language are two dissimilar things (Esposito 2007). There are instances I have experienced where during communication; I am faced with different signals about the person communicating. The way people listen, observe, make movements, and respond communicates to others whether you are interested (Druckman 2006). In my experience, I have realized that when I match the nonverbal communication with the words being communicated, the listener develops trust and connection with me. In instances where this match fails, nervousness, mistrust and misunderstanding develop. To achieve success in effective communication, I take into consideration not only the signals of my listeners, but to those of my own. Types of nonverbal communication Facial expressions are extremely communicative. They are able to pass many feelings without even speaking any word (Druckman 2006). Different from many other methods of nonverbal communication, facial expressions are similar in across many cultures. This is because facial expressions for joy, anger, grief, and revulsion are similar universally. Also, body movements and posture tells a lot about an individual (Esposito 2007). Gestures are the major nonverbal communication in human lives. Meanings of gestures differ across regions. So it is essential to understand the people being communicated to so that the message is not misinterpreted (Merki 2003). Touch communicates a wide range of information. When someone gives me a weak handshake, a timorous tap, a fearful slap at the back, or a small tap on the head passes a wide range of information. Besides, a weak handshake may be interpreted as a person who is not interested or not in good terms with the other person. As we speak, people do not just listen but they take note of our voices. Tones of voices can be an expression of disappointment, passion, or confidence. Initially, I had difficulties in maintaining relationships longer than just a few weeks. I am a constantly smiling and I am lively but despite this, I later understood that I always radiated tension. My shoulders and eyebrows used to be always raised, my voice low, and my body was rigid. People around me were not comfortable. The discomfort that I induced to others always weakened both my capacity and their capacity at the moment. Application of verbal and nonverbal communications in solving current problems In the society today, there are many unresolved conflicts between individuals, parties, or organizations (Druckman 2006). An interpersonal disagreement occurs when the goals of two individual fail to match at a given time. Many are in conflict with each other, be it in the workplace, family, or college. Hence, in order to solve my conflicts with my father I have been able to remain calm and leant the importance of asking for forgiveness. I usually reply with a calm voice so as to avoid irritating other. In addition, it is worth noting that I have leant to be open and consistent in my body language, something that helps me diffuse my emotions The most successful ways of dealing with a conflict is compromise and collaboration through effective communication. Compromise is the readiness to interact with the other individual in conflict resolution (Burgoon et al 2010). During this time, body language matters. It communicates a lot to the other person. Wrong signals may send a wrong impression such as; unwillingness to forgive and inability to accept one’s own mistakes (Druckman 2006). Resolution cannot be achieved if there is no effective communication between the conflicting group and the mediator. In my opinion, ability to communicate one’s thoughts both verbally and verbally in a non-threatening manner is essential and will encourage problem resolution. Hindrances to effective communication during conflict resolution From a personal view, emotional barriers are the most common in conflict resolution. Some individual have difficulties expressing their emotions while others over-express their emotions (Druckman 2006). Despite the conflict, some topics may be totally taboo in most cultures. Also, attention may lack. I have encountered issues where one of the conflicting parties fails to give the desired attention in a conflict resolution meeting. Diverted attention may be portrayed though not maintaining eye contact (Merki 2003). For example whenever I had a different perception, I would show signs of diverted attention, something that makes it impossible to resolve the conflicts (Esposito 2007). In some instances, physical factors are barriers to effective. Inability to see the nonverbal signals can make communication during conflict resolution very ineffective (Fussell 2002). Cultural differences also contradict various nonverbal cues such as gestures, which may have different meanings across regions and cultures. The wrong interpretation of gestures always gave me false assumption about a certain individual (Fussell 2002). Solution to barriers of effective communication during conflict resolution Some barriers to effective communication during conflict resolution may seem hard to solve, but it is possible to overcome them. Learning other people’s cultures and their beliefs has been an effective facilitator of effective verbal and nonverbal communication to me. In addition, I believe finding the common ground between the diverse cultures is very vital for the well-being of the society where people with diverse cultures co-exist (Fussell 2002). Allowing communication barriers to exist in the society among different cultures will have impacts on other areas such the development. In such a society, conflicts are hard to resolve due to constant misunderstandings (Esposito 2007). I also feel the person communicating should make necessary clarity of idea concerning the message being conveyed. Conclusion Verbal and nonverbal communications are both very important. Verbal communication is vital in making clarifications and also gives room for debate. Nonverbal communication must not contradict the verbal message being conveyed. When such instances occur, there is a possibility of a person trusting the nonverbal signals because they are natural and unconscious. During verbal communication, some attributes of nonverbal communication must be in cooperated such as; use of gestures, maintenance of eye contact, and nodding of the head. The nodding of the head has effectively worked in my case as it shows that I am always confident in the message I am conveying. In instances where the body signals contradict the verbal communication, wrong messages are passed. It may convey a message that the presenter is not confident with the message or it may lead to mistrust. Effective communication is faced by various barriers. The barrier I have encountered most frequently is the culture difference. Some nonverbal signals differ between different cultures. I managed to overcome this barrier by the willingness to learn about the diversity of communication tools between different cultures. Therefore, I have been able to become an effective communication with both my friends, colleagues and mediator in effective conflict resolution. Effective communication has taught me aspects about myself that I could not have otherwise discovered. I have discovered my potentiality in conflict resolution. There are other solutions to the barriers of effective communication, but I do not think any of them could have worked better on my case than the understanding of different ways in which communication can improve conflict management between people of diverse cultures. References Burgoon, J,K, Guerrero, L, K, & Floyd, K 2010, Nonverbal communication, Boston, Allyn& Bacon. Druckman, D 2006, Conflict resolution, London, SAGE. Esposito, A 2007, Fundamentals of verbal and nonverbal communication and the biometric issue, Amsterdam [Netherlands, IOS Press. Fussell, S, R 2002, The verbal communication of emotions: interdisciplinary perspectives. Mahwah, N.J, Erlbaum Associates. Jonathan, J, R 2003, The verbal communication of emotions Mahwah, N. J, Erlbaum Associates. Goman, C, K 2008, The nonverbal advantage secrets and science of body language at work, San Francisco, Calif, Berrett-Koehler Publishers. Lansford, T 2008, Conflict resolution. Detroit, Green haven Press. Merki, M, B 2003, Conflict resolution (Teacher annotated ed.), New York, Glencoe/McGraw-Hill. Read More