How Non-Verbal Communication Affects the Impact I Have on Other People - Essay Example

How Non-Verbal Communication Affects the Impact I Have on Other People Introduction: I have realized that no matter how much people try not to communicate through verbal means, they still do. This is because communication can either occur through verbal or non-verbal means. In non-verbal communication, wordless messages are received through facial expressions, color, writing style, word choice, hairstyle, signs, space, gestures and time. Communication research suggests that more intentions and feelings are received or sent through non-verbal means. Menhrabian and wiener further suggest that out of 100% of the communication sent or received, 7% is done through verbal means while 93% is done through the non-verbal means whereby 58% is done through gestures facial expressions and body language and 38% is done through voice tone or inflection. Hence, non-verbal communication is powerful, more instinctive and genuine as it happens through unconscious efforts, a clear indication that it has an impact on other people. As Maryl Maple, an education psychologist says, when one has the ability to unconsciously read what other people are saying unconsciously through non verbal means, most miscommunication issues that arise can be solved before they turn to full-blown problems (Wood, 114-134). How we convey our feelings. Dr. Moonot points out that we convey our feelings through shouting, patting, frowning, smiling or using different gestures tones and facial expressions. For instance, when one is eager to do something, one smiles excessively and nods frequently to let the other person know that one understands what needs to be done and is ready to do it. When one is lying, one blinks the eyes severally or looks away (avoids eye contact) with the person one is lying to. This implies that non-verbal communication can either have positive or negative impacts on other people. From the experiences that I have had, I have realized that my non-verbal communication has a huge impact on other people and below is a discussion of what I have found out (Wood, 135-149). Eye contact and Facial expressions: Facial expressions are responsible for most meanings of the non-verbal messages and the eyes play the most expressive part. Eye contact shows attentiveness and interest and its lack is usually interpreted by people as lack of interest or disrespect. This implies that is one gazes a person longer and less frequent than (darting eyes) gazing at a person shorter and more frequent, an indication of dishonesty or discomfort, the person you are talking to will like you more. Eye contact also signals the wish to participate. For instance, if people are in a class and the teacher asks for someone to volunteers in a given task, the person looking at the teacher is likely to prompt the teacher to ask whether she or he is willing to participate. On the other hand, avoiding eye contact signals the need to be left alone and the teacher is unlikely to request for your assistance. Eye contact also persuades and controls other people. For instance, for instance, when the teacher or a person asks a question facing opposite direction, people are likely to be reluctant to reply. However, when the same person asks the same question while maintaining eye contact, people are likely to respond. Smile, which is a universal expression, is interpreted by most people as a sign of approval or friendliness. It indicates that one is satisfied with the agreement reached, suggestions put forth or what is said. Contrary to this, a frown on the other hand indicates that the person disagrees with what has been said or is dissatisfied with suggestions put forth (Wood, 151-187). Silence: Silence can have powerful effect on people and therefore can communicate the ‘I am not speaking to you’ message which sends the signal to the other person that there is awkwardness or contempt. At the same time, it symbolizes contentment between two intimate people who do not need to talk. In some families, children are disciplined by being ignores and therefore, tend to apologize when they are ignored. This implies that when one keeps quite, it can send a signal of awkwardness or discomfort or satisfaction of an intimate relationship (ACQ, 1-9). Paralanguage: Paralanguage is a vocal communication but with no words. It includes the making of sounds such as gasps, murmurs and the vocal qualities including the inflection, volume and pitch. The voices we use give others cues on how to interpret us. For instance, whispering to someone signals intimacy and secrecy whereas shouting signals anger. Ridiculing and sneering by using the voice-tone signifies dissatisfaction. Our voices also have effect on how others perceive us. For instance, we control vocal cues which in return influence our image. For instance, we can sound firm in job interviews in order to convince the interviewer that we are confident (ACQ, 10-17). Personal space and Proxemics When one is angry, one tends to move away from people or resent people when they move close. Hence, when a person moves away after a heated argument, the other person is likely to interpret that the person is angry with him or her. Space also announces one’s status. For instance, employees seem to give space between their selves when they are standing or talking (Guerrero & Floyd, 111-132). Other Body language: Other forms of non-verbal communication such as gestures, body position and body posture also play a great part in sending messages to the receiver. A person who sits or stands in an erect manner sends a signal that he or she is confident or proud. On the other hand, a person who slumps the shoulders sends the signal of depression or tiredness. A face to face or parallel oriented conversation usually indicates an interest that is focused on the other individual. However, as a person becomes less interested, the body angles away from the other person and this lessens the focus put on what is being discussed. Hence, people working on a project are supposed to sit side-by-side. This also implies that if a person leans towards the other person while conversing, this indicates that the person is interested with the conversation or likes what the person is saying, however, if the same person leans away from the person, this is likely to be interpreted as a dislike or interest what is being said. Hence, leaning forward while sitting or standing means that one is interested, approachable and receptive. A handshake is also used to communicate non-verbally. For instance, if a person grips one’s hand firmly, this is an indication that the individual is confident. However, if a person tends to squeeze one’s had so tightly in that is causes pain, the person sends an impression of being overly inconsiderate or aggressive (Guerrero & Floyd, 146-167). Time: Unknown to many, I have also realized that time, a usually ignored non-verbal message communicates strong messages. For instance, when one is punctual, he or she relays a nonverbal message that tends to say that he is well organized. If on the other hand a person becomes late, this transmits a message that the appointment is either not important of the person is disorganized. There are also cases whereby a person might have two meetings to attend. If the person divided his time with great indifference in that he or she happens to meet one person for two hours and the other person for half an hour, this sends an important message to the receiver that implies that the two-hour meeting is more important than the 30-minutes meeting (Wood, 187-199). Physical Appearance: Physical appearance also influences the receivers perception of how the person is and determines how the receiver will interpret the messages he or she receives. People use one’s personal appearance and clothing to determine ones credibility, status and persuasiveness. For instance, an accountant giving an audit speech and dressed in a clear-cut suit will be found to be credible and people are likely to be attentive. On the other hand, if the same accountant dresses in casual and trendy clothes, he is likely not to be taken seriously while giving out the audit speech and more people are likely to doubt his credibility. At another instance, if a person puts on, expensive jewelry, custom made shoes and designers jewelry in a dinner party, the person is likely to be perceived as wealth and of high social status. However, if the same person is seen mowing a lawn or washing the car with the same clothing, the message receiver will perceive the person to be lacking a common sense or eccentric (ACQ, 17-19). Conclusion: My mode of non-verbal communication can either impact people positively or negatively. I can make people to draw close or drift away from me, respect or disrespect me, admire or detest me, and trust or distrust me. This implies every body movement that I make sends a signal to the receiver who in turn interprets it in order to give it a meaning. This has made me realize that my greatest asset while communicating is my non-verbal mode of communication as it plays the greatest part in delivering my message. This implies that I will have to be careful with my non-verbal communication in order to make sure that I impact people positively and be efficient and effective while communicating with others (Guerrero & Floyd, 156-178). References ACQ. (2010). Non-Verbal communication. Retrieved on 17th December, 2010 from: http://www.acq.osd.mil/dpap/cpf/docs/contract_pricing_finance_guide/vol5_ch5.pdf Guerrero, L. K. & Floyd, K. (2006).Nonverbal communication in close relationships. London: Routledge Wood, J. T. (2009). Interpersonal Communication: Everyday Encounters. London: Cengage Learning Read More