The Relationship between the Spiritual Director and the Spiritual Directee - Essay Example

Religion and Theology 5th March, The Relationship between the Spiritual Director and the Spiritual Directee Lesson 12 (a) An Essay on the video “Faith Chats: Spiritual Direction Role Play”, and an explanation of how the video supports the writings of Barry and Connolly. In this video, Virginia Blass and Fr. Harry Cain demonstrate how spiritual directors should play their roles as spiritual guides or spiritual companions to their spiritual directees. In this video, we learn that spiritual directors should be people with love for their work and for their spiritual directees. This is because in the video, we find Fr. Cain quite happy and enthusiastic about his work as a spiritual director. This view of spiritual direction is supported by Barry and Connolly in their writing. In their writing, Barry and Connolly argue that competent spiritual directors should be sincere and able to relate well with their spiritual directees. This in essence means that spiritual directors should have love for their spiritual directees. In the video, we also learn that good spiritual directors should be humble and should not impose their views or their wishes on their spiritual directee; this point is actually supported by Barry and Connolly when they say that humbleness is one of the pre-requisite of good spiritual direction. Again, we learn from the video that good spiritual directors should be competent in their work, and that they should have a good grasp of the teachings of the church; this view is supported by Barry and Connolly when they say that competent spiritual directors should undergo specialized training meant to prepare them for the ministry of spiritual direction. The other important point that we learn from the video is that competent spiritual direction requires confidentiality on the part of the spiritual director; in the video, we find Fr. Cain as the spiritual director quite confident in his work in directing Virginia Blass, his spiritual directee. Lastly, we learn from the video that a good spiritual director should be a good listener, this view is emphasised by Barry and Connolly in their writing. (b) An interview on a spiritual director who has been involved in the ministry of spiritual direction for six years. In this interview, my interviewee is Pastor Eric Brown. Pastor Brown has been involved in the ministry of spiritual direction for the last five years. The following is a summary of my conversation with Pastor Brown. First Question: How did you, Pastor Brown, recognize a call to spiritual direction? Answer: I recognized my call to the ministry of spiritual direction after being a pastor for five years. Before I became a spiritual director, I was involved in the ministry of preaching the word and I had travelled to many places preaching the word, including to places like Africa and India. During this time, many people whom I preached to inquired from me how they could know the ways of the Lord in their lives. After reflecting for quite a long time about how I could help the believers to discern the ways of God in their lives, I realized that spiritual direction was all the people needed to be able to know what God wanted of them. I then prayed over it and God actually revealed to me that he wanted me to become a spiritual director. Question: How would you describe your role as a spiritual director? Answer: I view myself as a steward of the Lord who has been given the task of guiding and accompanying the other believers in discerning the ways of the Lord in their lives. As a steward, my work is only to do what my master tells me or wants me to do in regard to the task that He has given me. For that reason, my work is simply to accompany my spiritual directees to be able to listen to the voice of God in their lives through the experiences of their lives. As a sterward of the Lord, I do not impose any of my will to my spiritual directees, but I give my spiritual directees the freedom that they need to be able to listen and to communicate with their creator, God. Question: What markers do you look for in the growth of spiritual directees? Answer: There are actually a number of markers that I look for in the growth of spiritual directees. The following are the main markers that I look for in the spiritual growth of my spiritual directees. The first marker that I look for in the spiritual growth of my directees is Sincerity and a genuine desire to grow in holiness. The sincere and genuine desire to grow in holiness is actually an important marker that the spiritual directee is progressing well in their relationship with God. The second marker that I look for is the confidence that the spiritual directee has in my competence as his spiritual director. Without confidence in your spiritual director, it is actually difficult to make any progress in spiritual growth. The third marker that I look for in the spiritual growth of my spiritual directee is respect that the spiritual directee has for me as his spiritual director. Besides having confidence in me as his spiritual director, the spiritual directee should have respect for me, and, even when I make mistakes in directing him/her, he/she should realize that spiritual direction is not a simple thing. A spiritual directee cannot make progress in spiritual growth without respecting their spiritual directors. The other important marker that I look for in the spiritual growth of my spiritual directees is open and receptive attitude. Once a spiritual directee has an open and receptive attitude, you realize that the spiritual directee is making progress in their spiritual growth. It is actually impossible for a stubborn and resistant spiritual directee to make any substantial progress in spiritual growth. Another important marker that I look for in the spiritual growth of my spiritual directees is an improvement in their prayer life. Once my spiritual directees tell me that they have an improved prayer life, I realize that they are making significant growth in their spiritual life. In general, I can say that those are the main markers that I look for in the spiritual growth of my spiritual directees. Question: How do you keep your relationship with your spiritual directees balanced, and, which spiritual master has influenced your work as a spiritual director the most? Answer: There are actually a number of things that I observe to ensure that the relationship with my spiritual directees is balanced. To begin with, I give my spiritual directees freedom and I do not impose my will on them. In an effective spiritual direction, both the spiritual director and the spiritual directee should be able to end their relationship if they feel that they are not relating well and if they feel that their relationship is not fruitful. For this reason, gifts and stipends should not be part of the spiritual direction relationship between the spiritual director and the spiritual directee. This is because gifts and stipends can negatively impact on the relationship between the spiritual director and the spiritual directee by making the relationship to be based on material goods, rather than on the genuine need and desire for spiritual growth. Also, in an effective spiritual direction, the spiritual director should not be over- controlling and should not impose his/her own will on his/her spiritual directee. Spiritual directors should only guide their spiritual directees in discerning the will of God in their lives, but not control or impose their own will on their spiritual directees. The second factor that I observe to ensure a balanced relationship with my directees is confidentiality. Confidentiality is key in an effective spiritual direction. The spiritual directees should never divulge to anybody what they share with their spiritual directees. Divulging such confidential information will make the spiritual directee to lose confidence and trust to the spiritual director. Also, in order to have a balanced relationship with my directees, I really on my experience in spiritual direction and I am always ready to grow in Christian faith .A good spiritual director is a mature Christian, with a contemplative attitude, and he/she is open and eager to discover God through all the kinds of people that he/she directs. An effective spiritual director is a person with an experience-based faith, who is open to new insights and surprises about God in his/her relationship with their spiritual directees. Also, self-confidence is a factor that I observe so as to have a balanced relationship with my spiritual directees. Effective spiritual directors should have confidence in divine providence and they should be deeply convinced that, no matter the difficulties that their spiritual directees are going through, ultimately, the light of God will overcome darkness, and their spiritual directees will overcome all the challenges that they are going through. Having experienced all manner of challenges and difficulties of living Christian life, effective spiritual directors are confident that, ultimately, their spiritual directees will overcome their difficulties in their relationships with their God. Humility is another important factor that enables me to have a balanced relationship with my spiritual directees. Despite being people of strong faith and experience in living Christian life radically, effective spiritual directors should be humble people, who realize the frailty of human beings, and who are not quick to judge other people. Effective spiritual directors experience themselves as sinners and they have experiences of failing in their Christian commitments. For this reason, effective spiritual directors are not judgemental, and they deal humbly with their spiritual directees. Also, in order to have a healthy relationship with my spiritual directees, I constantly do self-re-evaluation: an effective spiritual director need to constantly take stock honestly about their commitment to their Christian life, and their relationship with their spiritual directees. Since they understand themselves as sinners, effective spiritual directors do self-examination constantly in an effort to align themselves more with the will of God in their lives. Being a good listener and empathetic also helps me in maintaining a good balance with my spiritual directees. Effective spiritual directors should be good listeners and empathetic, i.e. able to put themselves in the shoes of their spiritual directees, so as to be able to understand the situations and the feelings of their spiritual directees. Also, having a warm Love for my spiritual directees helps a great deal in keeping a good balance between me and my spiritual directees. Effective spiritual directors should be people who genuinely love other people. This love for other people show itself in spiritual direction. This love for the people is demonstrated in spiritual direction through the attitude of commitment in one’s responsibility of directing others on spiritual matters, and through the effort to understand one’s spiritual directee; the love for the people is also demonstrated in through spontaneity in helping the spiritual directees to enhance their relationship with their God. Another important factor that I observe in maintaining a healthy relationship with my spiritual directees is having an understanding of the Faith of the Church. Christian spiritual directors need to be well informed and knowledgeable about the faith of the Church, so as to be able to help Christians to freedom before God. For this reason, therefore, spiritual directors should undergo specialized training, so as to be able to effectively guide Christians in discerning the will of God in their lives. This, however, does not mean that spiritual directors need to be experts in Theology. Spiritual directors just need to be well grounded in Theology and to have a good understanding of the teachings of the church. This point is actually emphasised by Aumann in his writtings (Aumann, 22).Knowledge of the history of Christian Spirituality also helps me in maintaining a healthy balance with my spiritual directees. This is because the knowledge of the history of the church helps in making a spiritual director more competent, hence being able to relate in a better way with their spiritual directees. Another important factor that helps me in maintaining a healthy relationship with my spiritual directees is knowledge of Psychology: Some level of modern psychological knowledge is actually quite important in spiritual direction. Spiritual directors, therefore, should do some training in psychology so as to be able to effectively help others spiritually. Generally those are the factors I observe to ensure that there is a healthy balance between me and my spiritual directees. On the question of the spiritual master who has influenced me the most in my work of spiritual direction, I would say that it is St. Ignatius of Loyola. This is because St. Ignatius emphasise on guiding and accompanying the spiritual directee in discerning God in through their daily experiences of their lives. I love the Ignatian spiritual direction method and I believe it is the best direction method. Lesson 13: Define and Describe Exercise (a) Spiritual Direction: Spiritual direction refers to the help given to a spiritual directee by a spiritual director in discerning the will of God in the directee’s life. Example of spiritual direction. St. Ignatius of Loyola is one of the best masters of spiritual direction who ever lived. St. Ignatius guided his spiritual directees by helping them discover God in their own experiences of life. (b) Spiritual Counsel: Spiritual Counsel refers to the guidance or counselling given to a person on religious matters. Spiritual counsel is actually given by religious people like the priests and Imams. In spiritual counselling, the person being counselled is according to the teachings of the particular religion to which he/she belongs. Example of Spiritual counsel: After experiencing difficulties in his prayer life, Martin sought spiritual counsel from his pastor. (c)Spiritual Wisdom: Spiritual Wisdom refers to Wisdom on religious matters. Example of Spiritual Wisdom: St. Francis of Assisi was known for his spiritual wisdom. (c) Spiritual Advice: Spiritual Advice refers to an advice on spiritual matters given to a person. Example of Spiritual advice: John sought spiritual advice from his pastor. Lesson 14: Key learning for me in this Course The most important lesson that I have learnt in this course is on the pre-perquisites of being an effective and competent spiritual director. First, I have learnt about the pre-requisites of an effective and competent spiritual director. To begin with, I have learnt that effective and competent spiritual directors are discovered by the Christian community, even before they discover their calling to spiritual direction; as Barry and Connoly point out, “effective and competent spiritual directors do not put themselves forward without first having others seek their help” (129). Besides this important point, I have also learnt that competent spiritual directors need to have the following qualities. Psychological and spiritual maturity: This quality is actually the most important pre-requisite of being a spiritual director (Barry &Connolly, 130). Good spiritual directors are persons who, although, they are not perfect, they exhibit signs of both psychological maturity and maturity in Christian faith. Good spiritual directors are people who have experience in Christian living, and they have gone through experiences of suffering as disciples of Jesus Christ. Good spiritual directors also are optimistic people and they are self-confident. Also, good spiritual directors are knowledgeable people, especially in matters Theology, and they have a good sense of humour. Sincerity: A good spiritual director should have a genuine desire to see his/her spiritual directee grow and mature in his/her relationship with God. An effective spiritual director also should be a Christian genuinely committed in his/her faith, and a person who is truly committed to strengthening his/ her relationship with God.. An effective spiritual director should never be a hypocrite who does not take his/her faith seriously. Freedom: In an effective spiritual direction, both the spiritual director and the spiritual directee should be able to end their relationship if they feel they are not relating well and if they feel that their relationship is not fruitful. Gifts and stipends also should not be part of the spiritual direction relationship. This is because is because gifts and stipends can negatively impact on the relationship between the spiritual director and the spiritual directee by making the relationship to be based on material goods, rather than on the genuine need and desire for spiritual growth. Also, in effective spiritual direction, the spiritual director should not be controlling and should not impose his/her own will on his/her spiritual directee. Spiritual directors should only guide their spiritual directees in discerning the will of God in their lives, but not control or impose their own will on their spiritual directees. Confidentiality: Confidentiality is key in effective spiritual direction. The spiritual directees should never divulge to anybody what they share with their spiritual directees. Divulging such confidential information will make the spiritual directee to lose confidence and trust to the spiritual director. Spiritual directors, therefore, should not divulge any information about their spiritual directees, including the names of their spiritual directees. Self- Confidence: Effective spiritual directors should have confidence in diving providence and they should be deeply convinced that, no matter the difficulties that their spiritual directees are going through, ultimately, the light will overcome darkness, and their spiritual directees will overcome all the challenges that they are going through. Having experienced all manner of challenges and difficulties of living Christian life, effective spiritual directors are confident that, ultimately, their spiritual directees will overcome their difficulties in their relationships with their God. Humility: Despite being people of strong faith and experience in living Christian life radically, effective spiritual directors should be humble people, who realize the frailty of human beings, and who are not quick to judge other people. Effective spiritual directors experience themselves as sinners and they have experiences of failing in their Christian commitments. For this reason, effective spiritual directors are not judgemental, and they deal humbly with their spiritual directees. Self-re-evaluation: an effective spiritual director need to constantly take stock honestly about their commitment to their Christian life, and their relationship with their spiritual directees. Since they understand themselves as sinners, effective spiritual directors do self-examination constantly in an effort to align themselves more with the will of God in their lives. Good listener and empathetic. Effective spiritual directors should be good listeners and empathetic, i.e. able to put themselves in the shoes of their spiritual directees, so as to be able to understand the situations and the feelings of their spiritual directees. An understanding of the Faith of the Church: Christian spiritual directors need to be well informed and knowledgeable about the faith of the Church, so as to be able to help Christians to freedom before God. For this reason, therefore, spiritual directors should undergo specialized training, so as to be able to effectively guide Christians in discerning the will of God in their lives. This, however, does not mean that spiritual directors need to be experts in Theology. Spiritual directors just need to be well grounded in Theology and to have a good understanding of the teachings of the church (Aumann, 22). Works Cited Aumann, Jordan. Spiritual Theology. New York: Sheed and Ward, 1980. Print. Barry, William, and Connolly, William J: The Practice of Spiritual Direction. New York: Harper One, 2012. Print. Read More