Fatherhood Concepts - Essay Example

Fatherhood Today the family without father is not a rarity. In order to understand the reason for that,it is necessary to understand the role of father in the family and what duties are assigned to him. There was always a problem of fathers and children in the family and it is impossible to get rid of it, as different generations will have different views on life situations (Commentarymagazine.com). In this essay, I will argue that fathers play a vital role in the lives of their children and Frank is the best father for Brando and his family. A memoir ‘Take this Man” written by Brando Skyhorse is a story about a boy who grew up with five stepfathers and a mother who tried to do her best for the son, but there was a problem that she could not tell him the truth. The main character was left by his father at the age of three years and got the name Brando Skyhorse. His mother used to live with five different men, one dad about every three years and one of them was Frank, a Mexican-American. One more thing is that the mother Maria Teresa tried to explain to the boy that each new man was a father and he should accept and respect them. Once man came, and then left breaking the boy’s love into pieces. In addition to this, there was a grandmother, and they lived in her house. She was a so-called “man of the house”; she used to set different rules and tried always to teach someone. Another one thing is that she was keen on movies. Moreover, she was a hardworking person. When she saw Frank for the first time, she really liked him. Frank was a good person; he had spent his childhood with nana, because his father was so tired after work, that he could not devote himself for parenting. Frank became a father to the boy, but he had no intention to stand between him and his real father. Furthermore, this man tried to devote his time to the boy and had never kept him aside. However, the mothers temper also played one of the major roles. The man was afraid of her attacks and maybe that was a reason why he did not make a proposal. On the other hand, he loved Brando, because he reminded him his childhood with nanny and he wanted to be a support and an example for the boy. And when Frank left, the heart of both mother and son was broken into pieces. At the age of thirty three, the man decided to find his biological father, and later he understood that daddies are needed in the childhood but not for an adult. Later at the age of thirty-six he sent a letter to his father and attached a few scanned photographs to it (Books.simonandschuster.com). Let us consider the role of father in the family more detailed. The father for a child is not simply a dear person, but an example of a man which is a symbol of courage and machismo. He gives more freedom to the children, cultivating in them self-discipline. Furthermore, fathers have an ability to accelerate the process of the child’s adaptation to social conditions. It is not a secret that sons imitate the fathers in the good and in the bad things (Huffingtonpost.com). In addition to this, as a parent he is also responsible for education of children. He should have skills of pedagogical and psychological influence. Thus, the father in the family is a source of confidence and authority, and he is an embodiment of discipline and order, because kids pay more attention to what dad says and does than mom, and that is why he has more influence. In the case with Brando, he had a lot of examples of man’s behavior and the dearest for him became Frank who really liked and supported him. Actually, we should not assign the major role to the biological father, because the father is not the one who conceived, but the one who grew up. The man has to be a senior mentor for the child who will always support. Therefore, if the biological father of the kid does not want to take part in his life, you should not insist on it because you will not get anything good from that. It is better to have the loving stepfather, than an indifferent father. Doubtless, this memoir gives an understanding that each father, even a biological one wants that his “son” grew up as a real man. The friendship and recognition of the father are very necessary for boys. In such case the boy will start feeling like a man and to act like a man thanks to the ability to imitate and follow an example of those people who surround him. If dad is always impatient and irritable in the relation to his son, the boy will feel tension in the society. Such child will be more likely to spend the major part of time with mother and might be afraid of the men’s company. So, if the father wants that his son grew up as a real man, he should not criticize him when he is crying and to shame him for that. The father has to spend the time with his kid with pleasure, to express his pride and encourage him to reach different goals. On the other hand, if the father does not pay attention to his children, it can result in appearance of other problems; for example, it will be difficult for them to fit in the society, to be accepted to different groups of people or just to set a connection with others. Therefore, it is important not only to raise children in a full family, but also not to reduce a role of father. If to speak about equality, the contribution to the family wellbeing (both material and spiritual) from both parents has to be equivalent. Moreover, children receive the first lesson of good nature from mother, as she promotes the development of such qualities as delicacy and kindness to people, ability to appreciate caress and give it to other people. With a help of fathers they develop the power of will, the ability to argue their point of view, to fight and to win. The father develops in his children the courage to overcome the ills of life. All in all, the full-fledged personality can be created only under the influence of both parents (Livescience.com). Fortunately, today they understand their roles in the lives of children and they realize that they really matter. The main thing is spending the time with kids or at least being with them in order to set a spiritual connection and to become a part of their lives, because the period of childhood is the most precious for both parents and children. First of all, they are growing too fast and that is why parents should help them to develop all the best features in a timely way and as a result they will bring up a child which will not feel like a fish out of water in the society (Livescience.com). To draw the conclusion, one can say that the child in accordance with the circumstances deprived of love of parents or, for example, only the father, will not understand the meaning of love. Having lost the trust to the father, it can lose it concerning all people and grow up as a person who will not care about others. In such cases when a man leaves the family, he can break the child’s heart into pieces, as it happened with the main hero of the memoir, because this happened to him for five times and each of the so-called fathers has perpetuated in the kid’s memory and heart. For the son, the father is a peculiar example, a so-called model of imitation. Without father or another man replacing him, the boy will not have an opportunity to understand his responsibility to the family and to realize that man is a defender. All in all, a father within the family is irreplaceable because he is a “backbone” for all household. Works Cited Books.simonandschuster.com, Take This Man. Retrieved June 20, 2015 from: http://books.simonandschuster.com/Take-This-Man/Brando-Skyhorse/9781439170908/browse_inside Commentarymagazine.com, From Parent to Parenting. Retrieved June 20, 2015 from: https://www.commentarymagazine.com/article/from-parent-to-parenting/ Huffingtonpost.com, 11 Lessons Learned in My 11 Years of Fatherhood. Retrieved June 20, 2015 from: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/justin-ricklefs/11-lessons-learned-in-my-11-years-of-fatherhood_b_7505022.html Livescience.com, The Science of Fatherhood: Why Dads Matter. Retrieved June 20, 2015 from: http://www.livescience.com/20997-science-fatherhood-fathers-day.html Read More