The Joys of Moherhood - Nnu Egos Enslavement - Essay Example

You’re Name Professor Course 14 May 2006 The Joys of Motherhood Motherhood is supposed to be a joyous representation about women who bring life into the world, devoting their own life to care for that of their children. In many countries, as children age they take on more of a responsibility towards their family and devote much of their time to making their parents (especially the mother) feel worthwhile and competent that a good job is being done in raising them. However, for Nnu Ego it would seem that she is a woman that is lost in a battle of inadequacies, no different from many other women throughout the world who often find themselves in similar positions through their joint identity with the illustration of motherhood. The reason this is said is because it appears that this woman is wholly dedicated to the traditional values set forth for women by her village life. Nnu was taught that in her tribe women’s main role was to bring life into the world and be excellent mothers. Her ultimate duty to her husband was to bear male children; this was her primary role, and the role of the other women in her tribe. Also the more male children she could bear the higher her status would become. It is true that even today there are some African tribes that still follow a certain philosophy to this one. However, women are valued and respected far more than what they use to be and their responsibilities and their status has changed dramatically since past times in Africa and in other countries around the globe as well. Nevertheless, regardless of how tribal customs use to be or even how some view women now, the role of Nnu was and is a role that is now considered demeaning to women, especially by today’s standards. Clarification can be given on this idea of the role of women through the following quote, “Have you ever heard of a complete woman without a husband” (158)? This proves that her role was only that of serving her husband and propagating more children to increase his importance in the village. Although, as has been stated, this is a demoralizing role in today’s time, for Nnu it was what she was accustomed to and what she grew up around. Therefore, she believes that by following along what appears to be a form of traditional roots of her own culture; her life will be richer and more meaningful through the devotion that she pours into her children (Chiu 2002). However, the problems that Nnu deals with are ultimately brought on by no one’s fault other than her own. She seems to be incapable of changing to fit the more colonized version of life yet her sons are obviously more focused on the newer ways and expanding further in life by enriching their education and planning for the future. These were not the traditional living patterns set forth by Nnu’s tribe and because she is from that past time and is unaccustomed to the new way of thinking she is getting left behind, alone. The main reason she is emphasized as being left alone is again because she refused to be swayed from her belief that the more traditional lifestyle was not better for her and her family. She failed to see that because she was following the path that illustrated women and mothers to be seen only as economic resources due to their productivity and reproduction abilities within the tribe she was limiting herself from her own unique capabilities. Men were the ones provided with the higher status following this philosophy, not the women. The primary functions of the women were having the responsibility of the social and economically well being of the children and home, production of work related activities, and storing and gathering food for sustenance. Furthermore, women had no real freedom from Nnu’s tribe; they were owned by the male gender and when married there was a bridal price. Once married their husbands then owned them and could do with them as they pleased which is proven in the following statement by Nnu’s husband, “What did you say? Did I not pay your bride price? Am I not your owner” (48)? It is hard to understand why Nnu is so adamant about remaining along her customary cultural beliefs when ideas like this are defined in the text. Although many women have had to deal with issues of slavery and bondage before there are many that never wanted to remain in that form of lifestyle. However, at the same time this is said there are many cultures that do place women in these exact roles in today’s time, though the women themselves might not be to fond of them. Even so, Nnu, as well as many other women can be perceived to have power over their own futures because they can break away and adapt to a new lifestyle if they are willing to do so. So again, it can be assumed that Nnu was in many ways in control of what her future was to bring her. Many women throughout the world have to learn to adapt to their changing environment because they have come to understand that when you don’t you will get forgotten about and there will be no one left to comfort or care for you. For Nnu, she learned these facts a little too late and she suffered because of the various changing patterns of life that she was confronted with yet which her sons accepted wholeheartedly (Algarin 1998). One of the many differences between the Lagos’s and that of her own tribe was that they valued the idea of money and what it could bring to a society far more than what a female of a tribe could do with regard to bringing life into the world and being a good, compassionate, and devoted mother. One idea that she had terrible problems coming to terms with was the fact that many of the male Lagos’s worked as slaves for the “white men” that were seemingly taken over the tribal lands (Algarin 1998). Nnu’s cultural beliefs held her back from adapting to this form of lifestyle as she was deeply opposed to it. She can’t understand why the Lagos’s would work as slaves for white men simply for the value of a dollar. However, she soon learns the hard way that money is the sustenance of life in this new society and without it one becomes enslaved to their own misfortunes themselves. This is no more variant than in today’s times for many mothers. In this decade women yearn to stay at home and care for their children, being there to comfort them when they get hurt or they are sick. Yet because of the emphases on money and the struggles that confront many families due to financial obligations, many mothers have to work and in a way are somewhat slaves to society just as in the novel “The Joys of Motherhood.” However, many families have come to realize that in order to survive you have to make money so it comes down to more than simply being a mother. In other words, there is no way possible to be a decent mother if you can not provide the sustenance your children need to live and you have no articles of personal value (other than your beliefs) that you can actually claim as your own. Although Nnu does come to understand that she has to find a better way for her family she never actually fulfills her obligatory role because she simply won’t let go of her past traditions which are holding her back. Unbeknownst to her she is also causing hardship onto her children by making them stand out from the rest of the Lagos’s society to some degree. It could be said that because she made them feel isolated and peculiarly different from the rest of the Lagos’s at times they are doing the same thing to her once they become adults. Although they love their mother, in a way it seems that they harbor some resentment towards the life that she had them lead when they were growing up, even though more often than not they did things without her approval of which they felt gave them more independence from their mother. This is obviously one of the perceptions that a reader could take away from this novel to explain why Nnu was left the way she was, without the comfort of her grown children surrounding her. One could ultimately say it is the changing time of which Nnu Ego has to adapt that adversely affects her life, as has been being pointed out. She seemed unwilling to bend to the more civilized and colonialized ideas set forth by the other neighboring villages such as the Lagos. Her tribe did not focus on the same aspects of life as did the Lagos so unfortunately for her she was left to try and provide for herself and her children the best way she could find. She had spent so much time in devoting her energy to that of being a caretaker to her children that she had not seen how times were changing and this brought on the huge adversities that she had to somehow overcome (Chiu 2002). Of course even in today’s times, this is something that happens to many women in the role of mother, and this has been stated and proven as well. However, the differences from now to when the story was carried out are very different although they are still filled with some of the exact complications that mother’s have dealt with for decades. They lose themselves through the utter devotion the develop in caring for their babies and ensuring that they will be well cared for so much so that they neglect themselves. An idea can be found to validate this statement in the novel when Nnu Ego is speaking with her father about how a mother’s role should be and how the children should care for their mother after they reach adulthood. The following quote gives great emphases in to the previous statements that have been made so that a thorough cohesion to this whole concept of culture and motherhood can be better understood. “When one grows old, one needs children to look after one. If you have no children, and your parents have gone, who can you call your own”(38)? When Nnu moves away from the society that she is wholly familiar with she has a very difficult time in the Lagos’s community because their social patterns and various ways of living are totally different from anything she has ever been accustomed to before. Also, because she is still enthralled with the idea of how motherhood should be within her own cultural roots she is reluctant to let go of those past teachings to move forward into the colonized development of the Lao society. She still focuses on what the future will be like once her children are grown and she dreams that one day they will care for her the way she is seemingly caring for them. This is no different from how many women also envision the day when their children will care for them in a similar fashion, such as Nnu Ego did. What is said though is in this new era, much like what Nnu Ego was confronted with, children want to leave home and continue in their lives independent of their mothers. This isn’t to say that many children don’t come back as adults and visit and shower their mothers with love. Nevertheless, even though the past statement isn’t necessarily being insinuated for all mother’s, in Nnu’s case it is true. Her sons did not appear they wanted to ever return to their mother’s side. It seemed that once they broke away from their old life and the customs that were not ideally representative of them they were more wearisome to have to return and so they did not, at least not until they absolutely had too. Of course this would break any mother’s heart and cause them great suffering but again, Nnu really had no one to blame but herself. Perhaps if she would have incorporated new ideas and a new way of life then her children would not have been so eager to leave her alone but because she didn’t it changed her future’s outcome drastically. What it is being implied is the fact that the mother’s ties aren’t as strong as they use to be and children grow up and move on to further their own lives with their own ideas about how they feel they should be. Often, because of these circumstances the mother is left alone and empty due to her dreams of what she thought the future was going to be like gradually disintegrating around her. The similarities of this thought can be seen in Nun Ego’s sons’ attitudes as they change drastically the older that they get through the story. Though her sons seem to love her they do not place upon her the respect and devotion that they are ultimately suppose to. In this regard Nnu Ego’s role as a mother is diminished when her children get older as it would seem that her sons appear to not need her nor care to stay in any close contact with her due to the fact they are to caught up in their own lives. This is one of the disenchantments of motherhood and Nun Ego is just one out of thousands of mothers who deal with this type of solitary lifestyle once the children grow up and leave their place of birth. Furthermore, it can be pointed out that Nnu Ego has a very difficult adult life initially. Although she was born to a Nigerian chief she is not handed down a guaranteed position within the family and in fact must go out on her own to develop and flourish, hoping to make a place for herself that will be a position of honor and acknowledgement. The novel shows that Nnu Ego has to struggle through many different phases of her life, including motherhood. There is emphases given on the fact that women have a dependency on their roles as mothers and one of the primary reasons that they focus so much energy on the lives of their children is so that one day they can count on their children to return the gratitude and devotion that was given to them, which has been clarified repeatedly. Of course, as has been stated, Nnu Ego’s two sons spend their lives apart from the village where there mother is, and don’t follow along the structure of the village in regards to ensuring their mother has a safe and well-balanced life filled with necessary sustenance once they leave. The reasons for which they behave in this manner have also been pointed out as they have learned that their futures require them to expand in their knowledge by utilizing educational resources, something which Nnu’s tribe never focused much energy on. In conclusion, this research has pointed out that the concept of motherhood has changed over time. Some cultures focus on it in different ways from others but it has been found to be limiting to even the woman’s role in society. Unless women are willing to change and adapt to new times and new beliefs then they not only hurt their own futures but they change the mindset of their children as well. However, the role of a mother is undoubtedly one of the most crucial out of any within a society. The fact is that other ideas simply must be incorporated into this role to allow for a full life and to enable the children to reach their own independence once they are grown and adults. A mother must be willing to let go and not become dependent on her children for her future survival if the role of motherhood is going to be respected and admired. Children have future lives as well; ones that are suppose to be free and representative of their own individual choices. This was something that Nnu failed to realize until it was ultimately too late for her to enjoy her children later in life. Works Cited Algarin, Madeline. “Nnu Ego’s Enslavement.” 14 May. 2006. The Joys of Motherhood. 20 Dec. 1998 http://www.fb10.uni-bremen.de/anglistik/kerkhoff/africanlit/Emecheta/EmechetaAlgarin.htm Chiu, Jennifer. “The Destructive Clash of Cultures.” 14 May. 2006. Grade Saver. 25 Oct. 2002 http://www.gradesaver.com/classicnotes/titles/motherhood/essay1.html Emecheta, Buchi. “The Joys of Motherhood.” George Braziller Publications. New York City, New York, 1979. Read More