Are Your Parents Driving You Crazy - Case Study Example

Are Your Parents Driving You Crazy Dilemma three- My brother and sister won’t offer to help take care of Mom and Dad Identification of the problems The task of taking care of parents should be a collective responsibility. Children should always thrive to take care of their aging parents especially when the parents played a vital role in their lives. In this case, the teacher is shouldering the problem by herself. This is a big problem to say the least because the teacher’s nuclear family is in jeopardy. The husband and the children are complaining of less time spent and this could ruin the family bond. However, it is unfortunate that the siblings do not identify the fact that there is an urgent need to intervene and help the teacher takes care of the aging parents. The fact that the parents’ health is not affected do not give the siblings the right to abandon them and more so overburden their sister with the sole responsibility of taking care of the parents. The fact that the teacher is attached to the parents does mean that the siblings should not intervene in the task of taking care of the parents. Being at work should not be a valid reason not to share responsibility. As a matter of fact, the siblings always have a leisure time, they should at least sacrifice their free time to help take care of the parents. That is; there is no valid reasons not to help take care of the parents. Each and every mother want to take care of the family the very best she can. As much as the parents need her, the teacher must know that her first responsibility is the first family. She should demand that the other siblings be actively involved in taking care of the parents. This will relive her the pressure of having to take care of the parents and the need to be there for the kids and the husband. The summary of the solution to the problem The teacher is not going to sit back and watch as much as she is trying to get the other siblings to relieve the burden of being the sole helper of the old parents. Furthermore, it is important for all the siblings to contribute towards helping their elderly parents. However, it may occur that all the children of the elderly parents are too much engaged in their places of work or to their families. In such a case, they can hire workers to help them do some task or all. Again the teacher should ensure that the current needs of her parents are accomplished, however she cannot do the alone. If possible, all the siblings are supposed to share the task, but this will only happen if they agree to do so. Furthermore, in providing the current needs of the parents, there may need to hire helpers, but this will only happen when the three children agree on how to get the helpers. In providing the future needs, the teacher is to find other ways of doing it because she is already doing more than enough. Furthermore, engaging the other siblings in providing for the future needs will highly depend on those needs. It is apparent that all the siblings are fully engaged in their duties, therefore using the outsiders to give a helping hand will be more reliable. Parents are so important to us even in their old age; therefore they have to accept the fact that the does a lot, and she also need the time for her family. It is obligatory, such that if they don’t accept, the teacher has to continue providing her services. However, in the case of involving other siblings, it is not mandatory that the parents have agreed that, at the same time it is important that they have to welcome the idea. On the side of the outside helpers, the parents must just be willing to accept them; otherwise involving them will be fruitless. Again the siblings to the teacher must recognize that the need for their involvement and that of the house help for the strategy to be workable. Dilemma four- my mother clearly needs to see a doctor, but she refuses to do so. Identification of the problem Some situations are really critical. The task of helping someone who feels content and see no wrong on what they are doing is difficult. In this case, the daughter knows that there is something wrong with her mother but she is not able to help her. This results into a big problem in two aspects that creates a dilemma to the daughter. First, the mother does not accept the fact that everything is not okay. Secondly, in legal aspect, the daughter cannot force her mother to see a doctor since the mother is not incompetent. There is an urgent need for the mother to see a doctor or psychiatric but that seems not to be happening anytime soon. Losing a husband is hurting, considering the fact that the mother spent almost all over her years with him, but the mother has to understand that death is a stage in everyone’s life. She cannot blame every doctor because of an alleged mistake by one doctor. Life has to continue even without the ones we once cherished. The mother seemed to be still in the mourning mood five years after losing the husband. The earlier she recognized that she needs to move on the better; not for her but also for the worried and stressed up daughter. The daughter should not give-up on her mother and must do anything to make her better. The summary of the solution to the problems First of all, for the problem to be solved, both the mother and the daughter must accept the existence of the problem. The mother should know that her condition is deteriorating. At the same time, the child should recognize that the mother has a lasting experience. Therefore, the steps to recovery should be done with a lot of moderation. In an attempt to get the doctor, the mother should be advised that not all doctors negligent in treating the sick. Therefore, she can try to find a doctor that she knows well. At the same time, the daughter should avoid the hospital where her father got treatment so as to avoid curiosity and fear. However, the daughter can suggest to her mother whether she can accept the visiting nurse. However, there is need to uphold the respect for the mother at the same time respect her decisions. If the mother adamantly refuses to see any physician, it is not the best action that the child pick quarrels with her instead she should stay calm. At such a time it imperative to make so clear to the mother that you are sympathetic to the way she goes through her situation, however, you can afford to hold should there be need. The reason as to why the mother cannot listen to the pleas of the daughter could be that there is a weak relationship with the daughter. Therefore, the child can use other people to persuade his mother so as to accept medication. However, the situation calls for a lot of sensitivity in handling. For that matter, therefore, calling outsider can either worsen the situation or helps provide a solution. Thus, it is crucial that the daughter gives a full explanation of the mother’s situation before she can embark into the talk. Dilemma five- my mother is not sick, but she skimps to save money. Identification of the problem Saving is factor affected by time and income. The more you saved at your earlier age will determine how much you are worth and be able to spend in the later stages of life. This is the principle that the mother used while she was working. She was able to invest and now she is reaping what she sow. It is argued that behavior can be learned with time and it stays with an individual throughout their lives. In this case, the mother had mastered the saving behavior. Saving had become part of her and the life she is leaving is a consequence of saving. Apparently, the children feel that she needs to change her saving behavior and live life as her wealth commands. To the children, this is a problem. They feel that their mother should change her behavior. However, the children are so wrong because their mother will not let go of her saving behavior anytime soon. According to the mother, they should be happy that they are living that wealthy kind of life because of her saving efforts of the past. Ideally, the mother will not change her saving behavior because that is who she is. The children should just let her be since her behavior in not affecting their social and economic lives. Being worried about what other people will say will not add value to the children’s lives. Instead, they should give the ultimate support to their mother and accept her the way she is. Summary of the solution to the problem The first way forward to addressing the problem is by accepting that the problem exists. For instance in the case of 88- year- old mother, the children have accepted the fact that their mother is having a problem with her social life. However, it is also important that they get the mother to recognize that there is something going on in her life that is unusual. This is going to be difficult because the mother is very comfortable with what she is doing. From the analysis of the case, it is not easy to get the information from the old mother because she feels contented with her life. It is important that the children take care of the safety and life of their mother. Therefore, they should take the initiative of doing the shopping for the mother so that in the end she can find healthy food. By shopping, the children can do shopping of two kinds. That is; expensive food and cheap food. From here they will monitor the food that their mother will give priority. Moreover, the children can use people who are close to their mother so as to get the problem with the mother. It will be possible because the mother will share her peace of mind. As the sibling is trying to get the problem of the mother, they should maintain the close relationship so that they can monitor the behavior of their mother. For instance, one of them can decide to reside with the mother so as in the pretext of giving a helping hand but trying to understand their mother’s social life. In addition, they can seek for consultation with the psychiatrist so as to help them evaluate what could be the problem with their mother; even though the mother has to agree to this attempt. However, while the children are doing this, they should maintain a lot of respect to their mother. Furthermore, it is useful that the children inquire the bank statement of their mother. They can ask her in a polite way without causing disrespect to their aging mother. The bank statement can make them come to an informed decision. It could be that the children believe that their mother is having a lot of money in the bank yet this is not the case. At the same at the age of 88, there should be parameters that they put to help the ailing mother in her daily duties. Furthermore, with that age the mother should not be walking long distance looking for food. I suggest that they can employ a house help that will assist the mother in her shopping. The boy and the girl can ask their mother so politely the reason as to why she skimps. The mother could be having a good reason as to why she does that. It could be that she is trying to save for the betterment of her children’s future. Respect is crucial, and the sibling should show their parent respect in their attempts to help her. This will make the mother feels that they truly care for her and value for her life. Lastly, the children should explain to their mother the benefit of good health especially at her old age. Reference Ilardo, J. A., & Rothman, C. R. (2006). Are your parents driving you crazy?: Getting to yes with competent aging parents. Acton, Mass: VanderWyk & Burnham. Read More