Interpersonal Communication - Essay Example

Interpersonal Communication To explore the meaning of interpersonal communication it is necessary to comprehend the term interpersonal which means between two or more people. Interpersonal communication essentially means communication between different people with or without personal involvement. Communication does not only imply exchange of words, but it is the way we interpret the words and attitudes of other persons. The English literary critic I.A. Richards has defined communication as a vital aspect of human kind, “Communication takes place when one mind so acts upon its environment that another mind is influenced, and in that other mind an experience occurs which is like the experience in the first mind, and is caused in part by that experience” (Ramaraju, 70). This means when two people are in communication, then what one person thinks or feels is to a large extent influenced by what the other person is thinking and feeling. Similarly, a person’s individuality or personality is also defined by the perception of others, “an individual’s personality is a product of their perceptions of others and others’ perceptions of the individual as manifested in the interactive and interdependent exchange of behaviors between them” (Palmer & Barnett, x). Therefore, mutual interaction is a necessary element for the formation of both relationships between people and individuality of a person. Interpersonal communication can take place both between two individuals and also in a group setting. It also indicates the ability to deal with different people in different circumstances without making anyone feel ill at ease. Body language like eye contact, volume of voice including silence, touching the other person like shaking hand or putting hand on the other person’s shoulder are also part of interpersonal communication and each of these is a mode of communicating what a person is feeling and thinking. The most common elements of interpersonal communication are talking, listening and conflict resolution. Interpersonal communication can be verbal or non-verbal depending on the situation. In essence, interpersonal communication means interaction between people in the manner that is appropriate to the situation and fulfills the required objective (Ramaraju, 70). The concept of interpersonal communication is entwined in our everyday life. Being a social animal, we are inclined to live in communities and build relationships around us. Everyday the relationships we form have specific behavioral manifestations, i.e. we do not maintain same kind of behavior or attitude with all people like we are obedient to our parents, jovial with our friends and so on, “whenever two people meet and interact, it is the interdependent exchange of verbal and nonverbal messages that constitute the behavioral manifestation of the relationship” (Palmer & Barnett, x). In My Name is Khan, the protagonist Rizwan Khan suffers from Asperger’s syndrome which differentiates his communication skills, cognitive skills and body language from other so called normal people in the society. The story revolves around Rizwan and his connection with the world around him which somersaults after the 9/11 event. His wife Mandira who is a Hindu has to confront the harsh realities of the racially divided world. In the initial reels of the movie, Rizwan’s interpersonal relationship with his mother is depicted. In spite of being the “less intelligent” one than his younger brother, he grew up in a loving and protected environment provided by his mother. Only after his mother’s death he was left to face the world alone as he comes to America being sponsored for citizenship by his brother who is a successful businessman. The movie is presented from Rizwan’s perspective; how he studies other people and fights against the disadvantages of his condition to win the trust of other people. Likewise he crosses the hurdles of his disability to fulfill his aspirations in life. Rizwan’s communication skills or his ability to express his feelings belong to a different plane from others resulting in apathy, misunderstanding or sympathy from others. Then he meets Mandira who is a young Indian woman divorced from her husband working at a hair salon. The rare display of warmth and affection from Mandira translated their relationship into a rare kind of friendship rooted deeply in love for each other. Rizwaan’s interaction with people is reflected in his strong belief inculcated in him by his mother: there are only two kinds of people in this world – the good people who do good deeds and bad people who do bad deeds. This simple philosophy defines his perspective of humanity which forms the basis of this movie. Thus a message to the audience is delivered through communication of mother and son that a person should not be judged as Hindu or Muslim. Throughout the movie one finds that people are trying to identify a person as Muslim or Hindu. When Rizwan sees Mandira for the first time, he loves here but did not know how to communicate his feelings. First he enquires regarding her workplace, visits that salon and sells products in her place. This way he tries to make sure that she would accept him. So these strategies uses are first passive where he plays the role of silent observer. Following this, the interactive strategies also played a role by default. From the time of entry the relationship advances into the personal sphere where the method of communication changes and becomes more impulsive and personal. There are many instances in this movie that depicts the “other worldly” characteristics of Rizwan, considering his condition. As I have already mentioned interpersonal relationship is depiction of mutual relationship that is dependent on circumstances. Thus in this movie, most viewers were taken aback by the sudden outburst of Mandira targeting her venomous attitude towards Rizwan when her son was killed as an affect of racism. The unreality of it is pronounced by the fact that Mandira has always loved and been protective towards Rizwan showing a kind of understanding that Rizwan has last experienced in his mother. Rizwan who himself was groping for reason behind the suddenness of his stepson’s death, was hurt and confused when Mandira blamed him for this. To Rizwan it is unfathomable how he can be responsible for the death of a boy whom he has always loved. Rizwan’s many characteristics related to his condition are depicted in his various interactions with the other characters of the movie. Rizwan is able to communicate his thoughts clearly which signifies his lack of consciousness of society’s perspective of him. However, he has to practice what he will have to say when he is selling beauty products. He carries a monotonic voice while speaking with no change of facial expressions. In interpersonal communication we interpret the body movements of other people to understand the concurring dialogues, and so because of Rizwan’s lack of physical expressions people tend to misunderstand him. Rizwan’s apparent failure to understand people’s feelings makes him an outcast in the eyes of many. He sticks to his own belief about rights and wrongs and so does not pay attention when his brother rebukes him for marrying a Hindu woman. Likewise he takes what other people say in the literal sense not having the capacity to read between the lines. Thus when Mandira challenges him to meet the US President and say “My name is Khan and I am not a terrorist”, he takes it upon himself to embark on a journey that will culminate him in actually saying the same thing to the President. This phrase is reverberated throughout the movie and communicated to different people under different circumstances by Rizwan. This phrase itself tells us the theme of the movie and also communicates precisely Rizwan’s purpose of meeting the President. Rizwan’s intercommunication skills or interpretation of gestures are shaped by his Asperger’s syndrome like he fails to understand ambiguity of words. For instance, he keeps on pestering Mandira to cut his hair even when the salon is crowded and she is busy attending other clients. Mandira says, “I am dying to cut your hair.” He replies, “Don’t die, I just want you to cut my hair.” He does not understand that Mandira is actually telling him to wait his turn and calms down only after she complies with his request. However, he gradually realizes that he is wrong. Rizwan is portrayed as “the other” in the film with this syndrome and there is an indication that no Muslim would be able to redeem himself if he or she is not mentally challenged. The film applies an element of melodrama to signify the bias against Muslims and shows the protagonist is oppressed not for being autistic but for being a Muslim. When the emotionally disturbed Rizwan goes to the airport to take a flight to Washington, he is found uttering Islamic prayers and security guards seize and torture him. He is later taken captive when he tries to meet the President and he goes through several torments despite being autistic. Such actions are ways of expressing hatred towards community and this is done through individual treatment. This movie although is a mainstream movie gives a fascinating portrayal of different facets of human emotions and interrelationships. One thing to be understood here is that interpersonal communication reflects mutual needs of the parties concerned. Rizwan’s first encounter with relationship was his mother who showered him with love and closeness, and this became the definition of interrelationship for Rizwan for the rest of his life. He was fine till Mandira conveyed same kind of affection, but was shaken when she displayed raw hatred after her son’s death. Mandira’s son is killed by the white kids of his school and only after becoming a victim of such racial discrimination, she blames Rizwan for being a Muslim. Rizwan faces discrimination once again. Ironically instead of accusing the terrorist in Iraq who killed the father of Sam’s best friend, she launches a personal attack on her husband. Thereafter he became determined to return only after fulfilling his promise of meeting the President which indicates that Rizwan believes that only by doing this he can make Mandira love him again. References Johar, Karan, My Name is Khan, Fox Star Studios, February 11, 2010 Palmer, Mark T. & George A. Barnett. Mutual Influence in Interpersonal Communication, Ablex Publishing, 1998 Ramaraju, S. “Psychological Perspectives on Interpersonal Communication”, Journal of Arts, Science and Commerce, III.4 (2012) 68-73 Read More