The Impact of Domestic Violence on Children - Essay Example

The Impact of Domestic Violence on Children Introduction According to (Jaffe et al) domestic violence refers to an act by one intimate partner attempting to control, dominate or humiliate the other partner. Domestic violence is evident when couples or other adult relatives fight against each other. Domestic abuse can be physical, sexual, psychological, financial and spiritual in nature. Whichever the nature, it causes untold suffering to the victim and it is important to prevent it in order to create a peaceful family environment. Peace should be the ultimate goal for every family member. Furthermore, domestic violence affects the children and other members of the family who constantly witness the violence negatively. Cause and type of domestic violence varies in families. An individual or partner can either use one form of abuse or combine different forms of abuse depending on his or her behaviour. Physical abuse is evident when a perpetrator uses objects or bodily means such as fist or hand to cause physical harm on the victim. Physical violence can also take the form of pouring hot water to the other partner or using sharp objects to cut the other person. Domestic violence perpetrators can also punch or choke their victims. Humiliation and emotional abuse is the second form of abuse (Hamel and Tonia 2007; Hester et al 1996). It involves, using weird names to call the victim or criticizing them unfairly. It is also evident when a person compares the other partner or other members of the family with bad or poor things in life to make them feel less worthy. Threatening postures and gestures can also be defined as abuse. Abusers try as much as possible to make their victims feel worthless and defenseless. Domestic violence perpetrators ensure that their victims are isolated from others and cannot pursue any interest from outside. As a result, the victims of domestic abuse feel intimidated and mentally disturbed. There are many causes of domestic abuse and different perpetrators are driven by different factors. Such factors include low self-esteem, envy, failure, uncontrollable anger, regrets and pain. The stated factors are very powerful emotions that make people act irrationally and in disregard of family values. Other causes of domestic violence include male chauvinism, drug abuse as well as violent domestic environment. Children experienced the most pain when they watch their parents fight or humiliate each other. As a result, children and other members of the society who are affected become confused, shameful and guilty. In extreme cases, the children learn to cope with the violent environment through lying, faking illness or demanding excess attention. Psychological problems affect children, which results from domestic violence vary and cause either short-term or long-term effects. Psychological problems that are evident in children growing up in a violent domestic environment include anger, guilt feelings, low self-esteem, fear and anxiety, psychological trauma, depression and hatred. The first psychological problem caused by domestic violence to the children is anger. Anger is a strong emotion evident by antagonism towards a person or object that wronged a person. It is an avenue of expressing negative feelings. However, anger can cause problems if not controlled as it can cause high blood pressure, bitterness, irrational thinking and physical harm. Children who react in anger destroys property, withdraw themselves from others, abuse people and become disrespectful to adults, complain unnecessarily, become aggressive, fight and harm other members of the family. Furthermore, they disdain family members and always negate instructions from the authorities. Children can become so disturbed that they may fail to do their class assignment as well as domestic chores. Excessive anger can destroy the lives of innocent children. Therefore, it is important to avoid situations in the families that can breed anger in children. The second problem that stem from domestic violence is guilt feelings. Guilt feeling is described as bad feelings felt because of committing something wrong. This is real in a religious society where the children and other members of the society are taught that domestic violence is unacceptable. Jaffe et al (2003) said that the society developed set of values that make its members feel bad when they break them and children may not be well prepared to handle their own inadequacies. Children may have guilt feelings that they contribute to the domestic violence happening in their own homes. It is even worse when other members of the family or society accuses children of contributing to the fights in their homes and question their character. Members of the society who are insensitive and ready to dampen the spirit of children who become victims of domestic violence perceive them as blameworthy and more reprehensive. Therefore, children are considered bad and may not be allowed to interact and socialize with other members of the society especially their peers. The children are then denied their right of association, which is very unfair. As a result, victimized children are gnawed by guilt feelings and they withdrew from people. They become lone rangers, dull and timid. In extreme cases, they may commit suicide in the end if they are not helped to cope with the bad negative feelings disturbing them. The third problem caused to children by domestic violence is low self-esteem. Low self-esteem is described as diminished belief in oneself. The child feels that he or she contributes nothing to the benefit of the whole family or society. It is conspicuous when a child faces major task or problem. They doubt their capabilities at all times in nearly all circumstances. This kind of uninformed mind judgment generates negative feelings of hopelessness (Dowd et al 2006). Children suffering from low self-esteem constantly engage themselves in self-analysis and are afraid of bigger tasks or problems. The affected children becomes shy, pessimistic and fail to set own goals. Furthermore, they refuse to take risks, talk negatively about themselves, lack compassion and find it difficult to forgive others or themselves. Consequently, the children find life too difficult because they lack the initiative. They become indecisive, like taking orders from other people and blame themselves and other people when something goes wrong in their lives. In most cases, they complain about their looks and personality. Children who are victims of domestic violence do not live in present situation because they focus on past incidences and are worried about the future. They fail to express personal feelings and ideas as freely as they should. As a result, their creative and innovative capabilities are chocked by the negative feelings in them. Therefore, they become followers and laggards because they fail to take initiative in their lives. Fourthly, fear and anxiety is the next problem that children in violent homes experience in their lives. Fear is described as a response to danger. Children who are fearful are normally anxious and may suffer from the generalized anxiety disorder. Fearful and anxious children are constantly harboring disturbed thoughts and always fear for the worst. They always expect disaster and cannot stop worrying about their family members. The anxiety becomes too much that it interferes with their schoolwork, social life and other activities a child is expected to perform. This is because most affected children have very low capacity to respond positively to the problems facing them. They are unable to solve problems, become restless and easily irritated. Fifthly, domestic violence cause psychological trauma in children. Psychological trauma is a personal experience that causes intense fear and loss of control. Psychologically traumatized children are overwhelmed by domestic violence that they fail to react or cope with events and are left fearing for injury or even death. Battering, bullying, neglect and abusive attacks that the children witness on an ongoing basis in their families, leave them immobilized and hopeless. The children experience recurring nightmares and distressing flash backs about the past devastating events (McGee 2000). Affected children feel detached from the world around them, experience diminished feelings of love as well as decreased interests in the normal child activities. Playing and building friendships becomes a rare activity. Furthermore, they have concentration difficulties, anger and find it difficult to sleep. They may also experience hopelessness, fear, self-blame or poor personal relationships. Affected children spent much effort trying to avoid memories of traumatic events. Therefore, less energy is left for other important activities such as play and exploration initiatives. The children fail to develop normally and the problems may be transmitted to their adult life. The affected children view life as not worth living and they wish that everything should end so that they could be free from torture. The sixth problem caused by domestic violence to children is depression. Depression is defined as consistent negative feeling of sadness and hopelessness that persists over a long period. Depression is common among children who grow up in abusive family backgrounds and can be life threatening. Children show different symptoms of depression, and normally remain undiagnosed as parents assume them as part of the normal psychological and emotional changes children experience during growth. Basic symptoms of depression include the feeling of sadness, hopelessness and moods change McCue (2007). Depressed children are easily irritated, nervous, withdraw from peers or other members of the society and have low interest in activities that they enjoyed previously. Furthermore, they have difficulty in falling asleep, easily get angry and may have low self-esteem. Such children exhibit neglected appearance, fatigue and harbor suicidal thoughts. Depressed children prefer to be alone because they believe that no person understands or even care about them. In school, they encounter concentration problems and their class performance drops. This is because their minds wander as they try to come to terms with the challenges that they experience in their lives. The affected children seek refuge in drugs or engage in other social vices as they try to cope up with depression. Some depressed children show increased demand for money, which they fail to account for. If they do not get enough money, they resort to stealing. This is in order to keep up their drug habits and other bad activities. Abused children become easy prey to drug peddlers and other bad people in the society. The seventh problem that children experience when exposed to violent homes is hatred. Hate is an intense negative feeling towards a person or object that caused misery. It can also mean hating oneself for the problems that one is experiencing. According to Hamburg (2004), children feel deep sense of hate to perpetrators of domestic violence. They hate when they watch their providers fight each other. The psychological impact that children experience in violent homes is crippling and has far-reaching implications. Most children who grow up in violent homes are denied the joyful experience of growing up as normal children. As a result, their capability to handle life issues during their growth stages and future adult lives is largely impaired. The most disturbing issue is that affected children’s creativity and innovative capabilities are choked beyond wildest imaginations and they end up settling for less in their lives. As a result, children fail to realize their full potentials because they will not have the right mind and attitude to exploit opportunities that come along as they grow up. It is may not be possible to have a society that is free from domestic violence. However, it is possible to assist the children who grow up in violent homes to cope up with the situations in their families. The affected children become more productive and better citizens if they are helped to cope up with their violent environments. The interventions to reduce the number of children affected and help the affected cope up with the violent domestic environment include criminalizing domestic violence, setting up refuge centers and creating awareness of the negative impacts domestic violence have on children. The first remedy is to criminalize domestic violence. This provides a legal framework that punishes perpetrators of domestic violence. Such a move reduces the number of violent homes as well as the number of the affected children. In addition, the legal framework should provide for assistance to children who experience the domestic violence. Assistance could be taken away to safe environments free from domestic violence. The second solution that assists the children cope with the violent family environment is setting up refuge centers. According to Pandey (2008), children who experience domestic violence yearn for love and understanding in the society in which they live. Relevant government agencies and other organizations that champion for child rights create refuge centers. The refuge centers offer counseling services to the affected children. In addition, it provides free treatments to children suffering from depression trauma and other complications caused by domestic violence. Thirdly, there should be societal awareness on the impact of domestic violence to children. Children departments and other child rights lobby groups hold demonstrations to denounce domestic violence. Members of the society need to be reminded of the dangers that the children face in violent homes. The combined efforts of curbing domestic violence pay handsomely in the end. The children become assisted do deal with challenges affecting them instead of causing more stress to their lives. Consequently, they take much of their time doing constructive activities in the family and society at large. There are factors that must be considered when helping children cope with the domestic violence they experience. Nature of the domestic violence is the first factor that should be considered when handling impacts of domestic violence to children. Children who when growing up witnessed frequent and severe forms of violence are more likely to be distressed as compared to children who did not experience much of domestic violence and had good interaction with parents. Secondly, consider the coping skills and strategies of an individual child. Children who do not posses good coping skills are susceptible to problems more than those who posses strong coping skills. Thirdly, age of the affected child needs consideration. Children who are under age get hurt, and demonstrate higher degree of emotional and psychological distress as compared to older children. This is because older children have better cognitive abilities to cope with stress and other life’s challenges. The fourth consideration should be the period that passed since the child was exposed. Children often experience high level of anxiety and fear when domestic violence encounter is still fresh in their minds. The effect of domestic violence reduces as they forget the events when times passes. The fifth point is gender. Boys in most cases show externalized behaviour that comprises violent behavior while girls portray internalized behaviours such as withdrawal and depression. The sixth consideration should be whether there is presence of child physical or sexual abuse. Children who are brought up in families with domestic violence and encounter abuse physically have higher risk of increased levels of emotional and psychological maladjustment compared to those who only witness violence. Children are innocent members of the society and they do not deserve to undergo the grueling experience of domestic violence. If the children suffer, the next generations have diminished capacity to handle the challenges that affect them. The truth of the matter is that domestic violence can be a vicious circle that can affects members of the families for generations. Therefore, it should be stopped early to prevent its spread and persistence. The life and the potentials of growing population are so precious that they must not be interrupted by domestic violence. The children must get the help they require to grow as normal members of the society. Finally, assisting children affected by domestic violence require coordinated and responsive assistance from responsible members of the society, non-governmental organization and the relevant authorities. Coordinated efforts help to minimize or eliminate domestic violence as well as the negative impacts that come along with it. Strong sibling and peer relationships are important, and supportive relationships with adult help children remain positive in life. References Dowd, N., Singer, D. & Fretwell, R. (2006). Handbook of children, culture, and violence, London, sage. Hamburg, D. & Hamburg, B. (2004).Learning to live together: preventing hatred and violence in child and adolescent development. New York: Oxford University Press. Hamel, J & Tonia, N. (2007). Family interventions in domestic violence: a handbook of gender-inclusive theory and treatment. Germany: Springer Publishing Company. Hester, M., Radford, L. & Maja,F. (1996). Domestic violence and child contact arrangements in England and Denmark. London: policy press. Jaffe, P., lemon, N. & Poisson S. (2003). Child custody & domestic violence: a call for safety and accountability. London: Sage. McCue M. (2007). Domestic violence: a reference handbook, 2nd Ed, ABC-CLIO. McGee, C. (2000). Childhood experiences of domestic violence. England: Jessica Kingsley publishers. Pandey, S. (2008). Psycho-social aspects of domestic violence New York: Concept Publishing Company. Read More