Violence in Families and How It Affects the Children - Essay Example

Violence in families and how it affects the children It would not be a mistake to suggest that living in society should beregarded as one of the irreplaceable prerequisites for the development of the inner potential of a human being. Indeed, if it had not been for people around, a considerable number of features that are regarded as characteristics would not have developed. Nevertheless, it must be noted that there might be situations when the conditions in which a person is living have a negative impact on the development of ones personality. Therefore, it would be justified to note that within the social environment there are factors the influence of which is destructive. A good example is domestic violence. This paper will prove that violence in a family has an extremely negative influence on personality of a child which can be witnessed in various aspects. In order to do so, the paper will show that children who saw violence in their families tend to grow up as violent individuals; they often experience problems in school; they also tend to struggle with coping with their uncontrolled impulses; a lot of children that were brought up in such families tend to take up abusing a particular substance; they often report to have low self esteem; such children find it difficult to develop close relationships with other people; they also might struggle with various psychosomatic disorders that they may develop throughout life; finally, the children develop a distorted understanding of intrafamily relationships that they copy in their future families. The first and the most obvious effect of violence in a family on children is that the latter become more violent themselves (Covell & Howe, 2009, p. 9). Thus, the young men and women see that ones physical security is not a sacred right that should be maintained, but some an abstract notion that may be violated at different time. As a result, such people tend to develop a history of physical assault starting from the very young age. For example those children who regularly see violence at home might pick up fights with other children in school or even become bullies. This might be explained by the fact that these children are not able to develop a proper appreciation of right of personal security. That is why the line that the majority of the people never cross is crossed rather easily. Another point that should be mentioned is that their violent nature might manifest itself towards animals. Indeed, there are numerous cases when children were engaged understanding torturing and killing pets. In spite of the fact that the legal system does not see this as a crime, such behavior is surely disturbing since it shows that there is a considerable amount of violence inside the character of a person. Therefore, if s child is engaged in such behavior this should be seen as an indicator of the problems that occur in ones family. Furthermore, this negative practice might develop into something more serious as a lot of serial killers have a history of violence towards animals. It would not be a mistake to suggest that school is an important part of the world of a child. That is why it is rather obvious that any problems that one might experience at home will surely impact ones academic performance. Indeed, those children that witness violence at home find it rather difficult to concentrate on school subjects and, as a result, there performance fails (Lawson, 2015, p. 56). These children might be bright and have a great intellect, but they receive bad marks. A teacher is able to recognize easily when a child has reached ones academic potential and when there are external obstacles that are placed on ones way. Therefore, poor academic performance might serve as an indicator of a potential problem that exists at home of a particular student. One of the reasons of poor performance at school lies in the fact that a child is simply not able to study at home. It is obvious that it would be ridiculous to say that violence takes place all the time. Nevertheless, it is quite probable to think that a child does not consider ones home to be a safe place that is useful for studying. Therefore, such a student has a significant disadvantage if compared to other students, namely his or her mind is always distracted from academic matters. One would make no mistake pointing out that mind of a child is distracted by different matters rather often. However, in case of living in a family where violence occurs, the state of affairs a child finds oneself in creates a constant atmosphere of tension and misery that makes no academic progress ever possible. There is another aspect that should be taken into account when it comes to evaluating the influence of violence on the development of a child is the ability of the latter to control ones impulsive behavior. It must be noted that the latter can be manifested in numerous ways. For example, children who witnesses violence at home can often appear to be aggressive in conversations with the peers as well as adults (Bowden & Greenberg, 2010, p. 209). They often violate the conventional norms of making a conversation, use profanity and are not good speakers in general. People find it difficult to talk to such children as they are very moody. In addition to that one should also note that aggression does not only manifest itself in speech: the behavior of the children who are affected by violence at their home is often antisocial. This means that such a child finds it particularly difficult to maintain a proper behavior in various conventional situations which means that one is often stigmatized by the public. As a result, such a child is casted away to the periphery of the social environment which has a particular negative effect on the development of ones character. One would make not mistake that such state of affairs is not the fault of the child since his or her behavior is induced by the negative environment that one has at home. Considering the issue in question one might point out that children who witness violence at home ate more likely to abuse different substances if compared to their counterparts (Flowers, 2000, p. 151). Thus, children from such families are often left to themselves and many take up drinking. They find ways to obtain alcohol and use it forget about the miserable state of affairs that they have at home. One would make no mistake suggesting that this behavior is self destructive and does not contribute to the solution of the problem in any way. Moreover, this shows that emotional problems contribute to the emergence of problems with the organism that are caused by abuse of alcohol. As one can easily see this is a rather negative tendency. Moreover, alcohol is not the only substance that children from families with violence tend to abuse. Because of the lack of proper parental supervision some might take up drugs, light as a rule since they are not expensive and can be easily obtained. Unlike alcohol that has a relative mild negative effect on the organism of children, drugs are extremely dangerous and negative. Furthermore, in order to obtain them, children might be involved in various criminal activities. Therefore, the consequences of violence at home are rather difficult to predict as they the negative impact that they have gradually increases and becomes almost unpredictable. Generally, violence urges a child to be engaged in various forms of self destructive behavior that is often manifested in abuse of alcohol or drugs. Speaking of psychological dimension of the impact that violence at home has on children, one should include the fact that self esteem of such children is often reported to be low. Indeed, the kind of treatment that they see and get at home has a negative impact on them and develops negative attitude towards life (Weiss, 2003, p. 22). Such think that they are not able to succeed anything and that is why their treatment is justified. This means that from the very beginning of their life these children start consider themselves as second class citizens that do not deserve any better treatment. Their achievements are not appreciated at home and gradually they think that they are worthless. One would make no mistake suggesting that such attitude is likely to undermine self esteem in the long run. As a result, the child is likely to be less ambitious if compared to one’s peers. It is quite understandable that in order to achieve success in life the latter must be desired. This is often manifested in ambitions that a person may have. They serve as the driving force which urges an individual to move forward and tackle different obstacles on the way. Nevertheless, a child who was brought up in a family where violence occurred may not be ambitious enough. In other words, such a child would not be willing to achieve more that one already has; gradually, living will turn into survival. Therefore, when children witness violence at home they suffer not only in the short perspective, but also in the long run. It is beyond any doubt that violence also damages the understanding of the nature of other relationship by a child. This means that one may develop a fear of close relationships with other people. The biggest tragedy in this case lies in the fact that this kind of relationships is necessary for a person to get rid of the negative impact of violence that one was exposed to in the childhood. Indeed, the situation is ironic: one is subconsciously running away from the only thing that can help one. Thus, children who saw violence at their family may be reluctant to make friends and later in life develop romantic relationships. In spite of the fact that the nature of this fear may not be understood by them, it is quite strong and shapes their further socialization. One should also note that these children often distrust the people who are willing to establish close relationships with them. This is particularly negative when a therapist is trying to help a child. The latter has seen that personal safety is not a universal right and it may be violated easily. That is why the child wants to distance himself or herself from other people in order to restore this right, hoping that distance will protect one from any pain, physical or emotional, that might be generated by the relationship in question. It is absolutely clear that such attitude towards interaction with other people is fallacious and will bring only negative consequences for the person who complies with it. One of the most surprising effects of violence in family on the children is the increased probability of development of psychosomatic health disorders. One may not that in course of witnessing violence a child might be affected directs. However, many fail to see that this contributes to the development of disrupted patters in the organism when the latter is exposed to a considerable amount of stress and many systems in it fail. For example, a child who is brought up in a family where violence occurred might develop constant headaches that emerge for no particular reason. The doctors will not be able to find any particular factor, but a psychosomatic one. While chronic headaches might be appear in rather severe cases, it often happens that children from such family report that they are tired all the time. No matter how much time they spend sleeping or relaxing they seem to be tired whatever activity they are engaged in. One might even suggest that in terms of physical condition, they may be all right, but it is their mind that tells them that they are tired. It is obvious that this kind of disorders should be treated not by a physician, but by a psychologist that will be able to find the root of the problem and try to cope with it. As it has already been stated, the children who live in families where violence occurs are not able to feel safe at home which contributes to their constant stress. Finally, one should also note that the effects of violence in family on the children should be viewed in long term perspective as well. In other words, this negative phenomenon might be imprinted in the mind of a child and will appear in the family that this child may create in the future. Indeed, it is quite probably that the latter will duplicate the behavior pattern that one has witness. Furthermore, though one might consciously decide to refuse to do so, under extreme condition violence will be the first option that one will choose since it was known from the very childhood and is stored in the memory the longest. Of course it does not mean that such children will not be able to create healthy families; it simply means that these people are able to recreate the above mentioned behavior patterns in certain circumstances. As a result, the vicious cycle of emergence of violence in a family is continued. This brings up another important issue that should be taken into account: if a child witnesses violence in his or her family, what are the chances that violence occurred in the family of one of the parents? This means that if a considerable amount of effort is given, violence in families might be brought to an end if the all the children who witnessed it do their best to stop the cycle. However, it is quite improbable. Having examined all the points that were brought up in the paragraphs above, one is able to come to the following conclusion: the effect of violence in a family on a child is always negative, though this negativity can not be witnessed only in the short perspective, but is sense in the long run as well. Thus, a child who sees violence at home might grow up a violent person as well. This might be manifested in physical assaults on other people or towards pets. Furthermore, the existence of violence has a negative impact on the academic performance of a child. On the one hand, the latter is not able to focus properly on the subjects in school. On the other hand, one can hardly learn effectives at home. Therefore, there is virtually no place for a child to grow academically. In addition to that such an individual might struggle with impulse control. This will be seen in an increased aggression in conversation and various forms of social behavior. By far, one of the worst consequences of violence is possibility that such a child will start abusing alcohol and drugs. As one can easily see, interpersonal problem will result in problems with one’s organism. One of the most obvious consequences of violence at home is the low self esteem that is developed by a child. Since the worth of one’s personality is diminished at home, one may grow up as a person who does not possess any significant ambitions. References Bowden, V., & Greenberg, C. (2010). Children and their families: The continuum of care (2nd ed.). Philadelphia, PA: Lippincott Williams & Wilkins. Covell, K., & Howe, R. (2009). Children, families and violence challenges for childrens rights. London: Jessica Kingsley. Flowers, R. (2000). Domestic crimes, family violence and child abuse: A study of contemporary American society. Jefferson, NC: McFarland. Lawson, D. (2015). Family violence: Explanations and evidence-based clinical practice. New York, NY: John Wiley & Sons. Weiss, E. (2003). Family & friends guide to domestic violence: How to listen, talk, and take action when someone you care about is being abused. Volcano, CA: Volcano Press. Read More