Active Listeting during a Counseling Session - Essay Example

WK 7 (31) Discussion Active listening is important to any counseling session because it allows the client to feel heard. Much of what happens in acounseling session is going to be seen through the perception of the client. If a client does not feel heard, they will not be able to interact with anyone easily. Active listening requires that the person doing the interview is participating in the conversation with the client. This means that they are keeping appropriate eye contact, they are listening for issues the client is bringing up consciously or unconsciously, and it is hearing the smallest thoughts, feelings or behaviors that the individual has as they are going through the session (Ivey and Ivey 2003, p. _______). In the interview that I did, the client said they felt listened to because I was actively asking them questions as we went through the interview. They said that they liked the fact that I was relaxed and laid back in the interview and That I was encouraging them to continue the conversation. According to the textbook, active listening skills help the counselor to clarify certain situations. As an example, in the interview, I attempted to paraphrase what the interviewee was saying to make sure that I was getting everything correctly. She said that this helped her stay on tack. I also gave her feedback as we went through the conversation. Geller (2005) suggests that the counselor should be engaging in specific task oriented relationships that become intimate because of their purpose and that this is an important part of what we do as counselors. Specifically Geller suggests: Two of the most promising and provocative relationship-transforming techniques are providing feedback regarding a patient’s self-defeating impact on others, including the therapist, and confronting patients with their resistances. (p. 471). I agree with Geller but I am not sure that these types of tasks are actually relationship transforming activities to both the client and the therapist. I can see that active listening techniques would have to be practiced so that they became natural to the counselor. The reason I see it this way is because I would think that the client becomes the "object" of active listening if the counselor is concentrating more on practicing the skill than they are on understanding what is going on in the counseling session. I think that inappropriate use of active listening would be to try and drive home every point that the client is saying. It is more important to listen to specific things that are being said. As an example, during the interview, I saw that the client was fidgeting a bit when we talked about the subject of the past versus the present moment. I found that by asking, "how do you feel about that?" The client had to stop and think. She had not really thought about being in the past versus the present before and she admitted that she really was not in touch with her feelings at any moment. I explained to her that everyone has a difficult time with their feelings these days because of all the things they have to do during a day. I also think that the way to make sure that an individual is heard, is to do exactly what they said in the textbook. Smiling appropriately to suggest warmth and openness, making sure that your body language is open rather than closed, clarifying and giving feedback when appropriate and using the clients keywords as we move through the session. Discussion 2 I think that one of the reasons why people have a difficulty getting in touch with their emotions is that people are emotional creatures. I would think that since we feel all the time that we really are not as sensitive to an emotion unless it is drastically different from what we would usually feel. I also think that because people express feelings differently (different cultures also have a different way of seeing feelings) that it can be difficult for someone to actually know how they feel about something. Also, most people live in their heads instead of in their feelings. I would think that one of the feelings that an individual may be reluctant to express in a counseling session would be anger. Often women have a difficult time expressing anger because it is not "lady like" to do so. Anger is also a volatile emotion and can bring about violent behavior, yelling and so forth. This can be difficult for a client to express because they do not want to open themselves to this type of behavior in front of the counselor. Resentment goes a long with anger I think because an individual will often stuff anger and start resenting an individual or situation, especially when they feel they cannot stand up to the individual or situation. Resentment and anger at ones self is also difficult to express. I also think that the different styles listed on page 191 of the textbook would have their own difficulties with expression. As an example, an individual who was more in touch with the sensorimotor style would have a problem expressing almost any emotion that they could not feel in their body. As an example, the feeling of love may not be something that everyone feels in their body. The feeling of ambivalence is also a difficult one to express because not everyone knows what it means. How does it feel to be ambivalent? This could be something that no one understands exactly how to express; this would be one that would be difficult for most people to express clearly. I think that the best techniques that a counselor can use to bring out an individuals feelings are to listen and watch. As you are observing a client, you will see them tighten up, cross their arms, look down or away and these can all be clues as to how they are feeling. These types of body language should be questioned. As an example, pointing out to a client that they looked down or away when talking about a situation can lead into, "What were you feeling at that moment?" or "What are you feeling right now?" This could be a way to help them get in touch with a feeling in that moment. Perhaps they are feeling confused about a point that the counselor or the client has made. They may raise their brow on this one and the counselor can ask what they are feeling. On page 192, the textbook states that there many feelings are gateways to deeper feelings and the counselor would want to have established good rapport with someone before they move into deeper feelings. The client must feel safe in the environment and comfortable with the counselor in order for tem to go deeper into their feelings. One of the ways that I would do this is to make them feel comfortable from the first interaction. Weve talked before about active listening, encouraging the client by nodding and giving feedback. All of these techniques would be used to get to the bottom of the deeper emotions. Another feeling like anxiety would be difficult for the client to express because as the text points out, it often is mixed feelings. What does this exactly mean to the client? If we could pinpoint the emotions that are sitting within anxiety it would be more helpful. To do this, I would just ask the client what anxiety meant to them. References Geller, J. D. (2005). Style and its contribution to a patient-specific model of therapeutic technique. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, Practice, Training, 42(4), 469–482. Retrieved May 23, 2006, from PsycARTICLES database. (AN pst424469). Ivey, A. E. & Ivey M. B. (2003). Intentional interviewing and counseling, (5th. ed.). Pacific Grove, CA.: Brooks/Cole. Read More