Managing Conflict in Relationships - Assignment Example

Managing Conflict in Relationships Opening the conversation in more productively manner The onset of the conversation began by Ken speaking in an aggressive and a passive manner. Ken could have opened the conversation in a more productive way. The “you” language that Ken used assigned blame and seemed judgmental. He blamed her without giving her a chance to explain her side of the story (Wood, 2012).Before the conversation, Ken should have acknowledged to Jan that he feels her time is valuable.

As he accused Jan of her actions, he also denied his wrong doings together with his feelings, in the conflict. He should have looked at a way to express his emotions before initiating the conversation with her. Therefore, Ken could have owned his feelings and to use the “I” languages in discussing specific behaviors that he could opt to change about Jan in the communication on private and personal issues (Wood, 2012). For instance, Ken could have begun the conversation in this manner; “Jan, can we talk about a problem I am having?

First, I would like to apologize for betraying our friendship when I went to your father years back after you informed me of your consideration of dropping out of school for a semester. I should have come to you first of my concerns and discussed with you of my feelings in keeping such a secret. Jan, I consider Shannon to be distressed and does not want to converse with me. I was speculating if you told Shannon of Katie and me.” Starting the conversation in such tone validates the feelings of both parties, gives room for clarification and it focuses on specific issues (Wood, 2012).

2. Ken’s forgiveness Jan was very defensive in her response, and her focus was on saving her face rather than solving the issue at hand. While Jan was saying, she was sorry in a repeated manner, her body language appears to be offensive, and her tone fell short and snappy as viewed in the video clip. She seems to want forgiveness but becomes aggressive by trying to direct another time when Ken betrayed her for reporting her to her father. Therefore, Jan would have progressed better if she had voiced without aggression on her plea for forgiveness of her actions and would never intend to portray in the light of a cheater.

Perhaps she could have suggested to him of having a conversation with the other girl. It could have given ground to explain that her first conversation was mistaken and took a place prior to Ken having an affiliation with her (Wood, 2012). 3. The nonverbal cues and verbal messages The nonverbal cues used by Jan were the tone of the sound and body movements. As those used by Ken are the eye contact and body movements. The nonverbal cues employed by the two parties led to a state of verbal exchange and reflected on the seriousness of the message.

The verbal messages applied by Ken relied on stressing his tone while bringing his case forward through speech while Jan repeatedly apologized as her tone rose towards defending herself. The nonverbal cues did not make the recipient react to it other than inciting towards a different approach. The contradictions further heightened the verbal message and strained the interaction more (Wood, 2012). 4. Roles played by nonverbal and verbal cues in productive conflict resolution The roles the nonverbal and verbal cues play in the conflict is by showing the feelings of each actor.

The cues lead to an adverse outcome. The non-verbal and the verbal cues used in a more organized manner. Both parties have to put their agitations right, and there has to be an all-inclusive use of effective communication skills. Also, there is a need for a third party or an arbitrator for the cues to lead to a productive conflict resolution (Wood, 2012).5. Moving conflict discussion to a win-win orientationKen and Jane can move the conflict discussion to a win-win orientation. It is only possible by identifying their need in such a situation.

The two parties both have grievances that need a solution. Jan’s issue appeared to have been smoldering for quite a while. On the other hand, Ken’s problem is a new one. It is important for Ken to apologize for the past mistake, and this will give Jan reason to be good to him. Therefore, the two will after that consider solving the situation at hand, and reconciling back to friendship (Wood, 2012).6. Conflict management skills Ken and Jan recognized that there existed a conflict between them.

Ken’s move focused on the present and not on the past issues. Ken and Jan remained calm, as they got specific about what was bothering them. They expressed their feeling in words and did not hit below the belt. The two picked the battle as the offender willingly apologized.7. Conflict management strategiesThe first place that Ken lost the chance to manage conflict successfully was on the realization of rumors about his affair. Second, he missed another opportunity while not considering on how to present the issue to a wounded friend.

Lastly, Jan failed to accommodate Ken’s complain. The two could have consulted a third party to help in resolving the conflicts between them, to improve on the interactions between the two (Wood, 2012).ReferenceWood, J. (2012). Interpersonal Communication: Everyday Encounters (7th ed.). London: Cengage Learning.