Comment paper 6 - Essay Example

(College) Comment Paper 6: Friendship after a Romantic Relationship Most people assume that when two partners end theirromantic relationship, there ceases to be further contact between them. However, it happens that the former partners still get along well after ending the romantic relationship. Or we could simply say the bond of romance that used to exist between them gets transformed into a bond of friendship. In some cases this assumption also turns out to be true. The postdating relationship could widely be influenced by how the two parties used to relate during their romantic relationship or how the relationship ended as argued in a study by Busboom et al (2002). According to this study, if the relationship ended when the two parties were in good terms and no abusive words or offensive actions were expressed, then there is likelihood that a quality friendship is likely occur between them.
Now let us think of an argument between romantic partners in which one of the partners claims that the other is not as supportive as a partner ought to be. The topic here is support. I lady may begin viewing her man as a total disgrace the moment she develops the feeling that other men can offer more than what her partner offers her. This breeds up a misunderstanding soon after the lady begins reacting against her feelings of discontent for the man. Meaning she may also opt to withdraw her support in the relationship. Indubitably, this is most likely to end up in a conflict of which solving might be a puzzle or a solution might result in the end. The theory of conflict discussed in the chapter summaries that best describes the resultant argument is criticism. This is because the lady keeps criticizing her partner over his failures every time they argue over support. It could be that she tends to evaluate every bit of information she hears from her female friends concerning their romantic partners and ends up criticizing the qualities she finds in her own partner.
In a scenario as the one described above the two might fail to resolve their conflict hence leading to a breakup. There are also chances that a friendship never occurs between then after the breakup. This is because as much as the male party might see nothing wrong in them being friends, the lady might fail to buy the idea given the feeling that the man will never support her even in friendship. But supposing the man was to fulfill most of her partner’s needs before the breakup even after the breakup they would still be friends assuming something else caused the breakup. This is because the lady may not want to let go off someone who can provide her with resources. A study by Busboom et al (2002) approves of this by stating that, “Results indicated that participants who received more resources reported higher levels of friendship quality with their former partner.”
From this study we can therefore tell that the existence as well as the quality of friendship after the end of a romantic relationship is dependent on circumstances. These circumstances are based on interest, judgment, decision and opinion of the parties involved.
Works Cited
Busboom L., A., Collins M., D., Givertz D., M., & Levin A., L., Can we still be friends? Resources and barriers to friendship quality after romantic relationship dissolution. Personal Relationships: United States of America, 2002. pp. 215-223, ISSPR. 1350 4126/02. Print. Read More