:Break a Social Norm - Essay Example

The norm I chose is an unspoken rule. In Walmart, grocery stores, restaurants, and other public places, parents can be seen with children. Many children behave, but others do not. In my experience it is rare for anyone to calmly approach the parent and ask questions. Normally, people will talk to each other about the disruptive child, yell at the parent, remain silent, or shake their head in disapproval. I have chosen to calmly approach the parent with facts and to ask questions. I even had pamphlets about teaching children and a place to get help.

These were provided by my local doctor’s office. I chose this approach for several reasons. The first is I do get irritated by disruptive children. I feel the need to define a disruptive child. An infant under one is not responsible for crying in the store. Normally the child is just tired, hungry, or dirty. This cry is the baby trying to communicate. I get irritated by children two and up throwing fits, screaming, running into people, destroying store property, and so forth. Normally their parents just ignore this behavior, or just scream back at the child.

The second reason I chose this norm to approach is the obvious safety issue. When a child under the age of twelve is running around being ignored the chances of an accident, abduction, or other mishap rises. I do not understand the mentality of a person ignoring the damage their child is doing, or even the damage that can be done to the child. Thirdly, I feel that if a parent was confronted in a calm manner more, maybe their behavior would change. Some people will never change, but some people when offered options might.

Parents can get overwhelmed. Children do not come with a manual. Help might work, whereas public shame does not. Whatever is going on does not work, or children would not be making scenes in public. I attempted breaking this norm several times with various results. The first instance was a woman with a three year old screaming ‘I want it’ while holding a candy bar. I approached the lady, saying ‘Excuse me.’ She looked very professional, but stressed. She warily asked, ‘Yes.’ I asked if she was going to buy the candy bar for the little girl.

She explained that if she did not the little girl would throw a fit for the rest of the evening. I asked if she wanted help with the little girl’s temper tantrums. After a positive reply, I handed her a pamphlet about positive reinforcement. She thanked me. In the end, the lady still bought the candy for her daughter. Another woman with a similar situation bluntly told me to mind my own business, but most of the parents I approached were willing to politely listen and take the information I provided.

My reaction was surprise. I did not realize how many parents appreciate being approached in a positive manner. Most people that approach them are rude or hostile. When the parents were approached calmly and offered help they reacted with appreciation and politeness. Even if they did not want the help, the parents were glad someone stepped in. Most of the time the child would stop screaming, running, or throwing a fit to find out what I was saying. I felt happy trying to help others. It was much more satisfying that yelling or ignoring the situation.

The parents and children would react positively, but the other shoppers would react negatively. I had several snide comments about once a brat always a brat, or if a parent could not control a child they should not have them. Another common sentiment was a good spanking would cure the problem, not information about other methods. The observers would be upset with me for trying to help. I did not expect that reaction. It was like I had become allies with the parent and child against the other shoppers.

The other shoppers made me feel excluded from the group. That made me uneasy and outweighed any potential help I gave.