Psychological Aspects Of Divorce - Research Paper Example

Reiners English 101 26 September Divorce While researching literature on divorce, I found that fifty percent of all marriages in the United States end in divorce. Also, sixty-seven per cent of second marriages are unsuccessful and end in divorce (Corcoran, “Psychological and Emotional Aspects of Divorce”). These numbers illustrate how important the problem of divorce is today. My goal in this paper is to discuss different kinds of divorce, explore the religious (Christian and Catholic) views surrounding divorce and reveal psychological problems after divorce. To begin with, two basic types of divorce are contested and uncontested divorce. As for the latter, it means that spouses agree on all minor and major points and have come to a decision not to fight over children or assets. As for a contested divorce, it means that there are disputed (“contested”) issues that must be decided by a judge. In her book “How to Separate and Divorce as a Christian”, Dr Fredrika J Flakes says that it is advisable to seek an uncontested divorce since “if it is at all possible, God wants us to be at peace with all people” and an uncontested divorce is “less stressful and less expensive” (Flakes 331). Interestingly, the two types of divorce discussed above are also known as “a divorce by mutual consent” and “a divorce without consent” (Boele-Woelki 26). A divorce by mutual consent suggests spouses’ mutual consent. The latter means the agreement between spouses that the marriage needs to be dissolved. This agreement can be expressed by the spouses’ joint application or by one spouse’s application, “with the acceptance of the other spouse” (Boele-Woelki 27). As it has already been mentioned, for a divorce by mutual consent, both spouses should agree on the consequences of divorce. Boele-Woelki says that the consequences on which both spouses need to have reached agreement include: 1) their responsibility as parents, if necessary, including contact arrangements and residence of their children; 2) if necessary, child maintenance; 3) the division of property and its reallocation; 4) spousal maintenance (Boele-Woelki 37). A divorce without consent or contested divorce takes place when spouses cannot come to mutual agreement on the issues of child custody or property reallocation. Unlike an uncontested divorce, it necessarily involves a divorce trial where “the judge, court clerks, and the attorneys (yours and your spouses’) will be main players” (Doscow and Stewart 44). Sometimes contested divorces take years and are recognized “hard” and “painful” (Doscow and Stewart 44). In their book “The Legal Answer Book for Families”, E. Doscow and M. Stewart distinguish between a default divorce, fault and no-fault divorce, mediated divorce, collaborative divorce, and divorce for same-sex couples. As for a default divorce, it is granted in the cases when one of the spouses files for divorce and the other does not respond. Also, it may be granted despite the fact that a husband or wife does not take part in court proceedings. No-fault divorce suggests that the spouse who files for divorce does not need to prove that the partner did something wrong. On the contrary, a fault divorce suggests blaming other spouse and thus using fault grounds for divorce. Traditionally, grounds for a fault divorce include adultery, cruelty or desertion (Doscow and Stewart 41). Mediated divorce suggests jointly hiring a trained third party (a lawyer) that is neutral to both sides. The mediator helps negotiate and come to agreement in financial, property and custody matters (Doscow and Stewart 41). In a collaborative divorce, spouses each hire a lawyer. Usually lawyers hired have to work cooperatively and try to settle the divorce case without going to court (Doscow and Stewart 43). Divorce for same-sex couples in the United States suggests going through the same proceedings as the opposite-sex married couples do. Let us now discuss religious views surrounding divorce. In Christianity, marriage is believed to be “an immutable sacrament” (Rubenberg 99). Indeed, in the early days of Christianity, its teachers forbade divorce on the grounds of the Biblical truth that marriage must be permanent and ends only with death. As R. Collins writes, “the Fathers of the Church spoke with passion when they directed Christians not to divorce – apart from certain well-specified cases…” (Collins 1). Jesus’ view on divorce is found in the New Testament. There are five versions of Jesus’ words on divorce: in Matt 5:32; Matt 19:6, 9; Luke 16:18; Mark 10:9-12 and 1 Cor 7: 11. According to Dr J. Feeney, the author of the article “Divorce and Remarriage. Does God Permit It?”, divorce and remarriage are permitted in two cases: 1) if one of the spouses has been sexually unfaithful and marital infidelity took place; 2) if a Christian unbelieving partner leaves from the Christian. The latter is free to remarry in this case (Feeney, “Divorce and Remarriage. Does God Permit It?”) Today, strict teachings against spouses’ separation and divorce based on the New Testament’s sayings are maintained within the Catholic Church. According to E.Benedek and C.Brown, the Catholic Church has “strict guidelines on granting annulments”, unlike Christian sects the majority of which recognize divorce (Benedek and Brown 4). Psychologically, the consequences of divorce are different for men, women and children. Yet, each of these parties is likely to suffer greatly, which may lead to depression, stress, emotional adjustment problems, loss of life’s sense, and even suicide. It is worth mentioning that psychological consequences may depend on who is an initiator of divorce. For example, initiators are known to experience resentment, fear, doubt, guilt, as well as relief. Those who do not initiate the divorce may have negative feelings and even shock, decreased self-esteem, insecurity, loss of control, anger, etc. It has been widely recognized that children suffer greatly after the divorce. Depending on age, they are likely to experience feelings of denial, abandonment, preoccupation with negative information, depression, anger and hostility, immaturity or hypermaturity, feelings of blame and guilt, mourning the loss of family, etc (Corcoran, “Psychological and Emotional Aspects of Divorce”). In conclusion, divorce is a complex issue that can be discussed in relation to its legal, religious and psychological aspects. Affecting spouses and children, divorce is still one of the main problems of our society. Works Cited Benedek, Elissa. and Catherine Brown. How to help your child overcome your divorce. American Psychiatric Pub, 1995. Print. Boele-Woelki, Katharina. Principles of European family law regarding divorce and maintenance between former spouses. Intersentia nv, 2004. Print. Collins, Raymond. Divorce in the New Testament. Liturgical Press, 1992. Print. Corcoran, Kathleen. “Psychological and Emotional Aspects of Divorce”. Mediate. Mediate.Com, n.d. Web. 26 September 2011. Doscow, Emily and Marcia Stewart. The Legal Answer Book for Families. Nolo, 2011. Print. Feeney, Jim. “Divorce and Remarriage. Does God Permit It?” Jimfeeney. Jimfeeney.Org, n.d. Web. 26 September 2011. Flakes, Fredricka. How to Separate and Divorce as a Christian. Xulon Press, 2010. Print. Rubenberg, Cheryl. Palestinian Women: patriarchy and resistance in the West Bank. Lynne Rienner Publishers, 2011. Print. Read More