Why Is It So Hard For Men And Women To Talk To Each Other - Essay Example

Why Is It So Hard For Men And Women To Talk To Each Other? This essay will summarize the article of Deborah Tannen, “Why Is It So Hard For Men And Women To Talk To Each Other?” In Tannen’s essay she enumerates some of the possible reasons why it is hard for men and women to communicate. According to her, women consider conversation as “the cornerstone of friendship”. It is more of the intimacy developed during conversations that is important but for men their bond is based on less talking and more on doing things together.

Women use conversation to establish rapport unlike that of men. Most women often complain that they are not being listened to by their male partners because of the physical positions they take when they start a conversation. While girls look at each other while conversing, boys usually don’t. They tend to look around the room or do some physical movements, which gives the women an impression that they are not listening although they claim they are. Aside from the physical misalignments, another difference between men and women when it comes to conversation is the switching of topics.

Whereas women tend to talk about one topic at length, men tend to jump from one topic to another; thus, when a girl is talking to a boy and he suddenly switches to another topic, the impression of not listening starts to annoy her because of the seeming unsupportive reaction. Lastly, women make listener-noises such as “mhm”, “uhuh” and “yeah” to show that they are listening. Men on the other hand, simply give silent attention. Women find this frustrating. No listener noise to them is equivalent to not listening.

For men, they perceive those listener-noises as an overreaction or a sign of impatience. In conclusion, Tannen suggests that there be a cross-cultural communication which should start at home in order for men and women to truly understand each other. Work Cited Tannen, Deborah. “Sex, Lies and Conversation: Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other?” The Washington Post. (24 June 1990): n. pag. Web. 10 May 2011. http://www9.georgetown.edu/faculty/tannend/sexlies.htm.