Pillow Talk - Essay Example

In the context of Adler and Proctor’s “Pillow Talk”, a situation may be viewed in four positions. This is a method used to look at an issue and analyze it from various angles and different points of view. (Adler & Proctor, 2007). These four positions are defined as follows:

• Position 1: I’m right, you’re wrong.
• Position 2: I’m wrong, you’re right.
• Position 3: Both right, both wrong.
• Position 4: The issue isn’t as important as it seems.

Conclusion: There is a truth to be found in all four standpoints.

            In my life, there are many issues and problems that I have encountered that need to be solved based on my view and perceptions. Of course, we are all individual persons and have different perspectives. In the last and most recent issue that I have faced and dealt with, I used the perspective of Adler and Proctor’s pillow method to sort out the problems I encountered.

            I decided to go to Qatar, which is my hometown, during the summer to spend my whole vacation there and to celebrate the holy month of Ramadan as well. The problem is, my wife thinks that it is a waste to spend thousands of dollars for tickets just to go there. However, for me, it is worth every penny that I will spend to go to Qatar.

• Position 1: I’m right, he is wrong.

My plan was to go to Qatar in the summer. This will be the first time that I will spend Ramadan with my family after my marriage. I thought that it would be an excellent chance for my kids to know more about Ramadan, how it is celebrated, and what people in Qatar do during Ramadan. Another thing that I thought of was our grandparents. I really wanted to spend it with my family especially since it wasn’t a sure fact that our grandparents will be around to celebrate the next Ramadan.

• Position 2: I’m wrong, you’re right.

My wife is right in saying that spending much money to buy tickets to go to Qatar and celebrate Ramadan with my family is not necessary. She says that every dollar we spend on the tickets is a dollar less on what we have saved for our kids’ education and our future house. She is right in pointing out that spending all that money will definitely alter our plans of enrolling our sons in a private school. My wife is correct, when she said that there are different ways of teaching our kids about Ramadan, such as bringing them to the Masjeds we have in Columbus and by teaching them concepts about Ramadan at home.

• Position 3: Both of us are right, both of us are wrong.

Both of us are right. I am right in saying that I want to celebrate this special month of the year with my family and relatives in my hometown, Qatar. I am right because I want to teach and show my kids how people celebrate and act on this holy month of the year and to show them how people wait and prepare for it every year. However, my wife is also right in stating that we don’t need to spend extravagantly on tickets just to celebrate Ramadan with our families.  

• Position 4: The issue isn’t as important as it seems.

After giving much thought about it, I have realized that we can enjoy the holy month of Ramadan wherever we celebrate it. Moreover, I realized that I can teach my kids about it at home by imitating some of the usual practices that are usually done in Qatar during Ramadan. The most important thing, however, is the realization that the issue isn’t as important as it seems as compared to the possibility of losing the chance of being able to enter my kids in a good school that will benefit them in the future. Those tickets were unimportant because I can still celebrate Ramadan with my wife and sons. The essential thing is we are able to celebrate it as a family.

• Conclusion: There is truth in all four perspectives.

Before using the pillow method to think through my problems and in trying to come up with solutions, I was focused on getting my way.  In fact, this “me-first” attitude was creating some problems between me and my wife. I used to think that my opinion was what mattered, that I was always right, and therefore my decision was to be followed without an exception. I felt disrespected when my wife didn’t approve of my choices and judgment. After using the pillow method, I have realized a very important thing. In thinking that we both should have our way, we only ended up hurting each other. I now know better, that my goal should be focused in making our relationship as husband and wife work for us, rather than letting petty arguments and pure selfishness get in the way.