The Expression- Opposites Attract - Essay Example

Most people have heard of the expression, opposites attract.' It suggests that people with very different, even opposite personalities, will likely be attracted to one another. The rationale behind this assumption is that if two people are extremely similar in personalities, they could very well bore each other, with the consequence being the breakdown of their relationship. In direct comparison, if two people are opposite in character, the one quiet and the other lively for example, they would function to both balance one another out and complete one another. It is, therefore assumed, or at least as suggested by the quoted expression, that opposite personalities are likely to have a lasting and deep relationship because, paradoxically, their contrasting personalities are actually complimentary. Despite the fact that some people strongly believe that opposites attract, personality differences can act as serious obstacles to the development and continuation of a love or friendship relationship between two people. There is no doubt that relationships which are perceived of by either party as boring are very likely to end. Accordingly, it is safe to assume that, to a certain extent at least, successful friendships and love relationships are formed by individuals who are somewhat different in personality. Were two people exactly alike, their relationship is bound to be characterized by a degree of monotony which can very easily give rise to boredom. When monotony and boredom enter into a relationship, the chances of its lasting are significantly reduced. Based upon this particular perspective, a certain degree of contrast between personalities seems to be the key to lasting friendship and love relationships. Quite simply stated, personality contrasts will significantly reduce the chances of the relationship becoming monotonous, therefore boring. The contrast between personalities adds a degree of excitement to a relationship as differences may often incite the couple in question to occasionally act out of character and, thus, offset the possibilities for the development of monotony. Even though a degree of contrast between personalities can positively contribute to the success of a friendship or love relationship, this only relates to manageable differences as compared to significant ones. Manageable differences refer to personality contrasts which are not overstated. They may include, for example, one party's tendency towards seriousness and the other's tendency towards humor. Differences such as this are, in essence manageable and will not act as an obstacle to the relationship's success. In comparison, however, there are a host of stark and unmanageable personality differences which can, not only act as an obstacle to the success of a relationship but can, in essence destroy it. Among the personality differences which can destroy a relationship, most especially a love relation, is social attitude. Some people are, by nature, introverted and prefer intimate, familiar and small social settings than large and boisterous ones. This could be because they are either innately shy or because they simply do not like, and cannot tolerate, large and noisy social settings, on the one hand and are not interested in meeting new people, on the other. In direct comparison, some people are extremely extroverted by nature and are at their element in large social settings where they have the attention of others. Highly social people who enjoy entertaining others and like to be the center of attention, genuinely enjoy meeting new people and having a full and active social life. Should one pause to consider whether two such different personalities, one an extreme introvert and the other a confirmed extrovert, can get along well enough to have a successful, long-lasting love relationship, one finds that it is very unlikely. The extrovert will surround him/herself with people and will be strongly inclined towards an active and boisterous social life. The introvert will definitely be happiest when alone or in intimate social gatherings. If either the introvert or the extrovert try to compromise and adopt the other's social lifestyle, they will end up quite miserable, possibly leading to the termination of the relationship. A second personality difference which could very well lead to the destruction of the relationship is the intellectual versus emotional outlook of the couple in question. Some people are, by nature, extremely pragmatic and practical. They have an objective outlook towards life in the sense that their judgments are reactions are based upon a critical and intellectual analysis of facts. In other words, their reactions and attitudes are pragmatic, based upon the objective analysis of empirical facts. In direct contrast, some people tend to be highly emotional and evaluate situations according to their feelings and senses. While they do not ignore facts per se, they adopt an emotional attitude towards facts and generally tend to be carried away by their feelings. Such people are not only emotional but they tend to be highly impulsive. Looking over the stark contrast between the two personality types described, it is hard to imagine that a relationship between them could be sustainable. Not only are they likely to clash but they will confront extreme difficulties in trying to communicate with one another. Emotional personalities communicate through feelings, in which case they perceive of pragmatists as hard, cold and unfeeling. Pragmatists, on the other hand, communicate through facts and regard feelers as unreasonable and hysterical. Such stark personality differences can very well lead to the destruction of the relationship. Having mentioned communication, it is important to conclude this essay with an emphasis on the role which communication plays in a relationship. Quite simply stated, communication is the key to the success of any friendship or love relationship. Individuals have to understand one another, to be able to communicate with one another, if they are to get along and, indeed, enjoy a long-lasting and successful relationship. In direct comparison, misunderstanding destroys relationships. People who have very different personalities and whose characters are at polar opposites to one another are hardly likely to be able to successfully communicate with one another and are most likely to misunderstand each other. Accordingly, and as a final commentary upon the role which personality differences play in a relationship, stark differences are the foundations for miscommunication and, as such, are destructive to any friendship or love relation. . Read More